I wondered for a moment if she meant me, but there was a faraway look in her eye that convinced me that she was thinking of someone else, and my heart beat again.

‘You, too, perhaps — ’ I ventured.

‘No. That can never be,’ she said with finality.

I did not press her, for I knew it was too soon, but in time, I hoped, she would be ready to move forward.

I looked around for a new subject. It was not hard to find, for the Misses Steele were also there, sitting at the far end of the room, flattering Mary and spoiling the children.

‘What delightful boys!’ said Miss Lucy, as William and his brother tugged at her hair. ‘I quote dote on them! You are so fortunate to have two such spirited boys. If there is one thing I like in a boy it is spirit.’

‘That is very intelligent of you,’ said Mary. ‘A boy without spirit is something I cannot abide.’

‘No, indeed!’ said Miss Lucy, as William tugged at her sash and ripped it. ‘Quite the worst thing in the world!’

‘They will not be here for much longer,’ said Marianne, following my gaze. ‘They will soon be going to my brother’s house.’

I was even more surprised, for he had only just met them.

‘I see what you are thinking,’ she said. ‘You are thinking it odd that we, who are family, are not invited, when the Misses Steele, who are nothing, are.’

‘I was not presuming to think — ’ I said, for politeness’s sake.

‘Come, let there be no such deceptions between us. We both value the truth. You were thinking it odd, were you not?’

‘Very well, yes, I was.’

‘But you see, it is simple to explain. Elinor and I do not flatter our sister-in-law, nor do we spoil the children. The Misses Steele do both.’

‘You will, perhaps, be happier here than at your brother’s house,’ I said. ‘You will at least be spared the impertinences of the Misses Steele.’

But her spirits, which were not yet strong, had made all the effort they were capable of making for the time being, and she replied, ‘As to that, it is a matter of perfect indifference to me where I am,’ then relapsed into silence.

I tried to lift her out of it, but she had gone where I could not follow, and I could not pierce her sad thoughts.

I did not despair, however, for time will lessen her pain and I am persuaded she has weathered the worst. Young as she is, she will soon begin to take an interest in life again.

I believe that London has done all it can for her. She has diversion here, it is true, but she is hemmed in by a code of conduct that is stifling for her. She will be better once she returns to the country, where her spirit can be free.



Monday 27 February

‘Do the Misses Dashwood ride?’ I asked Sir John this morning.

‘Ay, they are good horsewomen by all accounts. Willoughby was all for giving Miss Marianne a fine piece of horseflesh, Queen Mab, but her mother had nowhere to keep it and she had to refuse.’

‘And you have nothing for them to ride,’ I mused.

‘Mary is no horsewoman,’ he said by way of explanation.

‘I am going to Tattersall’s next week. If I see anything suitable, I will buy it, I think.’

‘What, thinking of inviting them to Delaford, are you?’ he asked.

‘I will have to return Mrs Dashwood’s hospitality,’ I said.

‘Ay, you’re inviting them for their mother’s sake!’ said Sir John, laughing heartily.

I had to bear his teasing, but it was worth it to have discovered that Marianne was a horsewoman, and to learn that I could bring her some happiness.

I am persuaded that she will like Delaford. To be in a place that has no unhappy memories for her will do her good. And once there, she can ride to her heart’s content. The fresh air, the exercise, and the freedom from restraint will all help to restore her spirits.

I am longing to see her happy again.



Thursday 9 March

I ran across Sir John at Tattersall’s this morning as I was examining a grey mare, a neat stepper with a good temperament. He gave me his opinion on the mare, and proceeded to look at road horses for himself.

As he inspected one of the horse’s mouths, he said, ‘Have you heard the news? Edward Ferrars is engaged to Miss Lucy Steele.’

‘What?’ I asked, my hand stilling on the mare’s mane in astonishment.

I could not believe it! A man of Ferrars’s stamp, with all his superiority, to marry a vulgar creature like Lucy Steele?

‘Ay, I thought it would surprise you! “Lord,” said Mrs Jennings, “to think they kept it secret all this time!” Twelve months they’ve been engaged.’

‘Twelve months!’ I exclaimed.

‘True, upon my word,’ he said, laughing at my surprise. ‘No one knew anything about it except her sister Nancy! Met at Longstaple. His tutor was Miss Lucy’s uncle! They took a fancy to one another and got engaged, but never said anything about it because they knew Mrs Ferrars wouldn’t like it. She wanted Edward to go into parliament, or make a noise in some other public fashion, not sink into obscurity; and as for marrying his tutor’s niece, why, she had chosen an heiress for him to marry!’

I remembered her praising Miss Morton and I thought, Little did she know, when she was admiring Miss Morton’s painting, that her son was already engaged!

‘His mother told him of her plans for him, I suppose, and he said that he could not marry Miss Morton, and that is what brought matters to a head,’ I said.

‘No such thing. Miss Lucy’s sister popped the whole thing out! A good creature, but without a grain of sense. Thought Miss Lucy was so well liked by Mrs John Dashwood that neither she nor Mrs Ferrars would object. Went to her as she sat at her carpet-work and let the whole thing out! You can imagine what a blow it was to Mrs Dashwood’s pride and vanity. Fell into violent hysterics immediately; her husband heard her; and then they turned on poor Miss Lucy. Then Mrs Dashwood fell into hysterics again, and the doctor was sent for. And that is how I learnt of it — ’

He paused as the mare was taken away and another one brought for me to inspect, and then continued.

‘ — for after seeing Mrs Dashwood — who is not ill, by the by, but just temporarily overcome — the doctor went on to see Mrs Palmer, who was in a fright about the baby catching a cold or something or other, and there he met Mrs Jennings, who had the whole story out of him.’

‘And you had it from Mrs Jennings?’

‘I came across her just now, on her way home.’

I was amazed at the whole story, but I hoped they would be very happy and I said so to Sir John.

‘Ay, all this fuss about money and greatness, what does it matter, as long as two people love each other, eh, Brandon? There is no reason on earth why Mr Edward and Lucy should not marry, for Mrs Ferrars is very rich by all accounts and may afford to do very well by her son; and though Lucy has next to nothing herself, she will know how to manage on very little, I am sure.’

He left me examining the mare, a bay with good paces, and went off to look at road horses.

I saw three more mares and chose one with a good temperament but plenty of spirit.

I mean to take her to Delaford myself tomorrow, so that she will be used to her new home by the time Marianne arrives.

Friday 10 March

I fell in with John Dashwood on my way to the stables this morning, and as soon as he saw me, he said, ‘Ah! Brandon, you have heard all about it, I suppose.’

I had no desire to talk to him, for his behaviour to his sisters had given me a disgust of him that nothing could overcome, but I could not escape him, for he walked along beside me, talking all the while.

‘Never has anyone been so deceived,’ he said. ‘My poor Fanny! She has borne it all with the fortitude of an angel! She says she will never think well of anybody again.’

She was the most ill-used of women, according to Dashwood, and so was his mother-in-law, Mrs Ferrars; but everything he said made me like them less and made me like Edward Ferrars the more, for he had stuck to his engagement, though his mother had threatened to disinherit him on the one hand, and had bribed him with the promise of riches if he married Miss Morton on the other.

‘I cannot understand it,’ said Dashwood as we crossed the road. ‘He will be penniless if he marries Miss Lucy, for his mother will never see him again; and she has made it clear that if he enters into any profession with a view of better support, she will do everything in her power to prevent his advancing in it.’

I wondered if he was speaking in jest, but he was quite serious; then I wondered if he could be sane, for he evidently thought that Mrs Ferrars had been sensible to act in such a manner.

‘He left her house yesterday, but where he is gone, or whether he is still in town, I do not know; for we of course can make no inquiry. It is a melancholy consideration. Born to the prospect of such affluence! I cannot conceive a situation more deplorable. We must all feel for him, and the more so because it is totally out of our power to assist him.’

‘As it was out of your power to assist your sisters,’ I remarked, but he did not understand my sarcasm.

‘Quite. I knew you would understand. The price of everything these days — ’ he said, shaking his head. ‘And there is one thing more preparing against him, which must be worse than all — his mother has determined, with a very natural kind of spirit, to settle that estate upon Robert immediately, which might have been Edward’s. I left her this morning with her lawyer, talking over the business. Can anything be more galling to the spirit of a man than to see his younger brother in possession of an estate which might have been his own? Poor Edward! I feel for him sincerely.’