As she stared at the ceiling, she thought about calling her. She left the phone on the table beside the bed. Not out of stubbornness or pride, but a phone call would have been about her need, not Blair’s. Blair had texted, and her message had been clear. She wanted a little space. A little time to herself. That was something Cam could give her, and she couldn’t give her the things that mattered most.

She rolled onto her side and stared into the dark. In a few hours she’d be on her way to Georgia and then off to Idaho. The closer she got to the answers she needed, the greater the risk of reprisal. Blair was probably safer exactly where she was.

Chapter Thirteen


Blair woke in the unfamiliar bed before dawn. The bedside clock said 5:05. She pulled on her jeans and the ancient sweatshirt, bearing the name of their prep school, Diane had lent her, and walked barefoot into the kitchen. On a clear day, Diane’s high-rise condo had a million-dollar view of Central Park, but at the moment the only light came from a small table lamp on the circular bistro table in front of the opaque, dark windows. A woman sat there in one of the ornate wrought-iron chairs, leaning with her cheek on her hand, her back to Blair. Her blond hair was golden yellow, lighter than Blair’s, and cut shorter than Blair remembered. Her thin shoulders seemed to sag inside her dark silk shirt. Her eyes were closed, her profile as elegant as a carved cameo.

Unwillingly entranced by Valerie’s sad, solitary beauty, Blair stood still, watching her, wondering if she should wake her or just back away. She wanted to like Valerie because her best friend loved her. Part of her, most of her, did like her, and she owed her for many things. Valerie had saved Cam’s life more than once. Valerie had also been Cam’s lover, and some part of that connection still persisted between them. In her head and her heart, Blair knew Valerie was no threat, but the animal that lived deep in the primitive recesses of her mind urged her to mark her territory every time she and Valerie were in the same room. If she’d truly been the beast that prowled her subconscious, she would have growled a warning. Maybe she did.

Valerie opened her eyes and said in her husky alto, “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“You didn’t.” Knowing she couldn’t retreat without looking foolish, she walked the rest of the way into the kitchen and looked at the coffeepot. Thankfully, it was full and hot. Something else she owed Valerie. Shaking her head, she poured herself a cup, cradled the warm mug between her hands, and leaned against the counter. “When did you get in?”

“About an hour ago. I didn’t want to wake Diane.” Valerie smiled, and even the dark circles beneath her eyes could not mar her loveliness. “Fortunately, she can sleep through almost anything.”

Blair laughed softly. “I know. Have you eaten anything?”

Valerie’s brows drew down as if she was trying to remember. “I don’t think…I’m not exactly sure when, but I’m not hungry.”

Blair set her coffee cup aside and opened the refrigerator. “You just think you’re not hungry. Believe me, I’ve seen Cam come in after a few days in the field ready to fall down from hunger, and too exhausted to tell. So…food first. Sleep second.”

Valerie started to rise. “You don’t have to—”

“Please.” Blair waved Valerie back into her seat and took out eggs, butter, and cheese. She knew her way around Diane’s kitchen as well as she did her own. It only took her a few minutes to scramble enough eggs and cheese for two. She slid toast into the toaster and put two plates on the small table. After the toast popped, she buttered it, scooped eggs onto both plates, and sat with her coffee across from Valerie. She nodded at the plate she’d placed in front of Diane’s lover. “Go ahead. Eat that while it’s hot. My guess is you’ll be asleep in half an hour.”

Valerie’s elegant mouth quirked into a smile. “You think all of us are alike?”

Blair dug into her eggs. “Mostly, yes.” She ate for a moment, then put her fork aside and leaned back. She wasn’t all that hungry. She wondered if Cam had bothered to eat. Probably not. Coffee and a doughnut did not constitute a meal. Valerie was nothing like Cam—Valerie was secretive and changeable, while Cam was as honest and unwavering as bedrock. Valerie was as ephemeral as a melody drifting on a breeze, impossible to capture. Cam was a refrain that resonated in every cell, strong and unbending. Polar opposites, but they both accepted life-threatening danger in the name of duty, and each, in her own way, courted death. “Why do you do it?”

Valerie regarded her intently. “Shouldn’t you be asking Cameron?”

“Probably.” Blair smiled wryly and broke off a corner of toast. “I know what she’d say, but I’m still not sure I understand. Maybe you’ll make more sense.”

“I doubt it.”

Blair laughed. “Because it’s another secret-agent secret?”

“No.” Valerie speared a mound of eggs, paused before lifting it to her mouth. She looked at Blair, her eyes appraising. “Because Cameron is motivated by a desire for justice. I’m not.”

“You know, I really ought to hate you, but I just can’t.”

“Why?” Valerie asked in a curious tone. “Because I love Diane and I don’t always make her happy?”

“That. And because you love Cam.”

“Ah,” Valerie said, not denying it. She finished the eggs and sipped her coffee. “We’re fortunate, you and I. Diane loves me and Cameron loves you. I try not to think about why I’m lucky enough that she does.”

“I know. It makes my head hurt when I do.”

Valerie nodded slowly. “Yes, among other things.”

“Well?”

Valerie leaned back and pushed a long, elegant hand through her hair. Her expression hardened and something dark moved through her eyes. “I do it because I’m angry. And because every time I win, I feel better. And, I suppose, I do it because I’m good at it.”

Valerie had been a high-priced DC escort as part of her cover, but what—or who—she had been before that was a mystery. “Revenge?”

“Possibly. Isn’t that just the other side of justice?”

Blair laughed. “Well, I might say so, but I know Cam wouldn’t.”

“No, Cameron is motivated by something far more righteous. She’s probably the only truly noble person I’ve ever met.”

“Me too.”

“It must be very hard to be angry with her.”

Blair laughed again, understanding a little why Diane loved this aloof, unapproachable woman. Why Cam had. Valerie saw beneath the surface as if long-defended barriers were only so much air. “It isn’t hard at all to be angry with her. It’s just really hard to stay angry.”

“I suspect she knows that.”

“You really shouldn’t be so kind to me. I haven’t exactly been gracious.”

“I hadn’t noticed.” Valerie lifted a shoulder. “Besides, you love Diane, and that’s enough for me.”

Blair rose and took their plates and cups to the sink. “It’s really tiresome being surrounded by people whom it’s hard to dislike.”

“Yes, I imagine it’s a chore.”

Blair looked over her shoulder and Valerie smiled. In that instant, she was nothing but pure beauty. “Go to bed, Valerie. Diane will be happy that you’re home.”

Valerie nodded and stood. “Do me a favor?”

“All right.”

“If Cameron is in trouble, call me.”

“What makes you think she’s in trouble?” Blair wanted to trust Valerie, but she’d learned the hard way those who pretended friendship sometimes lied. And Valerie was a ghost—no one knew exactly who she worked for.

“You’re here, unplanned, it appears.” Valerie gestured to Blair’s borrowed sweatshirt. “You’re supposed to be on your honeymoon—or what passes for that for someone in your situation. My guess is, Cameron is working something urgent and you either don’t know what, or you do and you’re not happy about it. That usually spells danger.”

“I’m back to hating you again.”

Valerie shrugged. “All the same—I am very good at what I do. And I have friends.”

“I’d deal with the devil if it meant keeping Cam safe.”

“Sometimes the devil is the only option, but best to leave it to those of us who have already sold their souls.” Valerie didn’t laugh.

“I’ll remember.”

“Remember too that Cameron is the best. Good night, Blair.”

“Sleep well, Valerie.” Blair went back to bed and crawled under the covers with her clothes on, even though the room was warm. She didn’t want to be naked alone.

5:35.

She reached for her phone and pressed Cam’s number on speed dial.

Cam answered at once. “You’re up early.”

“I thought I might miss you. Boarding soon?”

“In line now.”

“Fly back to New York when you’re done down there.”

Cam was silent.

“What?” Blair asked, sitting up in bed.

“I might not be able to get back there right away. Another meeting.”

“Where?”

“West Coast. I might be gone a few days.”

“I want to see you before you go.”

“I’ll try.”

Blair’s stomach tightened. “I mean it, Cameron. You don’t disappear without explaining.”

“I’m on the jetway. I have to go. I love you.”

“I love you too, God damn it.”

“I’ll try.”

“Cam?” But the line had gone silent.

Blair dropped the phone on the bed and closed her eyes. She hated that she couldn’t keep Cam safe, but at least Valerie was the devil she knew.


*


The Ugly Rooster finally stopped crowing about 0430, and the bar slowly emptied out. Members with old ladies left for home. Others paired off and drifted into the rooms in the back for a quick fuck or three, depending on the amount of alcohol they’d consumed. The club had a strict no-drugs policy at the Rooster—the local LEOs tended to drop in unannounced too frequently to risk getting busted for drugs. The prospects and hopefuls who didn’t rate crib space and a few members too wasted to move were passed out on sofas, chairs, and even the pool table in the big back room off the bar.