If this was love, it actually wasn’t so bad.

A pounding on the front door interrupted Jonathan’s concentration. It was late in the afternoon. Under normal circumstances he would have been at the office, but since Colton had become stubborn about eating only for him, he’d started working out of the house.

He had a brief, unrealistic thought that it was Cynthia, then told himself to stop being a fool. He returned his attention to his computer, only to be interrupted by Lucinda.

She stuck her head inside the study. “You have visitors.” She hesitated. “It’s Jenny and the boys, but Miss Cynthia isn’t with them.”

Her faintly accusing gaze told him that she still hadn’t forgiven him for allowing Cynthia to leave. Lucinda didn’t know the details of their argument, but she didn’t much care. Whatever happened had to have been his fault and in her mind, it was up to him to fix it.

He rose and went to greet the children. Until he actually saw them standing in the center of the foyer, he hadn’t realized how much he’d been hoping that Lucinda was wrong-that the woman who had haunted his dreams really had accompanied them. But the three kids stood in a tight group, balanced on their in-line skates, not smiling, barely glancing up when he walked over and greeted them.

“How’s it going?” he asked brightly. “Jenny, you look great. Brad, Brett, how’s school?”

Brad, the usually silent twin, slid off his backpack and opened it. “Here,” he said, dumping a video game player onto the marble floor. Brett did the same, upending a dozen games. The plastic cases skidded across the slick floor. Both boys straightened.

“We don’t want the game,” Brad said fiercely, his blue eyes bright with unshed tears. “That’s what we came to tell you.”

“Yeah. You were mean to our sister. You made Cynthia cry.” Brett’s voice was defiant, as if he knew he wasn’t allowed to talk to adults like that but refused to care this time.

Jenny put her arms around both boys. “We don’t know what happened, Mr. Steele, but Cynthia is very hurt right now. The three of us decided it would be best to return the game.” Looking so much like her beautiful older sister, she raised her chin. “We won’t be seeing you again.”

He hadn’t thought that three children could have the power to wound him so deeply, but as he felt the blows their words delivered, he knew they could cut him down to his soul. He hadn’t realized their good opinion mattered, but it did, and now it was lost.

What was he supposed to say? How could he explain something that didn’t quite make sense to him? “I’m sorry,” he said, haltingly. “I never wanted to-”

“Don’t apologize.”

Everyone turned toward the open front door. Cynthia stood there. She ignored Jonathan in favor of her siblings. “I can’t believe you three did this. It’s very rude and it’s wrong. I want you to go home now, but don’t think it’s over. We’ll be talking later.”

The children gave him one last condemning look before skating out of the house. When they were gone, Cynthia closed the door behind them and glanced at him.

“Sorry about that,” she said, her voice carefully light. “I didn’t realize what they had planned until it was too late to stop them. When I figured it out, I drove right over. I’d hoped I could intercept them, but kids on in-line skates can really move.”

He couldn’t breathe. The sight of her should have been like water to a man dying in the desert, but he couldn’t believe she was really here. All the pain, the emptiness and loneliness crashed in on him. He hadn’t known what she’d meant to him until he’d lost her and now she was back…but not for long. Not forever.

But he didn’t want forever. He wanted-

Except Jonathan Steele, maker of billions of dollars, didn’t know what he wanted. Or what was important. Or what it would take to figure out how to keep Cynthia when he knew that what she needed was love and he didn’t think he knew how.

“They don’t understand,” she was saying. “They’re not used to seeing me upset, which I confess I have been. It hurt them and they lashed out. They’re too young to understand that you’re the wronged party, not me. You never asked me to fall in love with you or hinted that our relationship would be anything but professional.” She offered a sad smile. “I’m the one who crossed the line, not you.”

She was dressed in her usual uniform of jeans and a sweatshirt. Her hair was back in a ponytail, her face free of makeup. She wasn’t elegant or sophisticated, but she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

“I understand how that could have happened,” he said. “You didn’t have much experience in my world.”

This time her smile was genuine. “You’re right about that. And I’ll admit that I did have dreams about a future. Marriage, more children.” She shrugged. “Just call me Cinderella. Isn’t that what you said when we met?”

He didn’t remember, but then he couldn’t think. Not about anything but what she said. Marriage, more children. Is that what she wanted? With him? Would she really trust him that much? Enough to let him marry her and father her children?

But he wasn’t good enough. He didn’t know how. Couldn’t she see the dark places inside of him? He’d been the one to say that families were an invention of the devil. While he no longer believed that, she couldn’t know about his change.

“How is Colton?” she asked.

He focused on her question and ignored everything else. “He hasn’t been doing well. That’s why I’m home. I’ve spoken with the pediatrician and she says it’s all the changes in his life.”

Cynthia’s expression tightened as color fled her face. “What’s wrong? Is he ill?”

“No. He hasn’t taken to Mrs. Miller. I have to feed him, which I don’t mind, but he’s a little restless with her. The doctor says it’s the lack of stability in his situation.”

Cynthia took a step toward him. “I don’t mind coming back. I promise I won’t say or do anything inappropriate. But if it would be easier until you’ve chosen a permanent nanny, I’m happy to fill in.”

He didn’t know how to answer that. He knew that he’d hurt her terribly and yet she was willing to be around him for the sake of the baby. If she were any other woman, he would suspect her of trying to use the situation to her advantage, but that wasn’t Cynthia’s style. He might be a jerk, but he wasn’t stupid. He’d learned his lesson about her.

“Why don’t you come see him now,” he said, motioning to the stairs.

She gave him a grateful smile, then hurried toward the second floor.

Ten minutes later she sat in the rocking chair in the baby’s bedroom. Colton had screamed with delight when he saw her and was just beginning to stop wiggling with pleasure as she held him.

Jonathan stood in the doorway, watching the two of them together. He saw the light in Cynthia’s eyes-the same light she had when she looked at Jenny or the boys. The same light Betsy had when she looked at her children. The glow came from a mother’s love. At one time the realization would have terrified him, but now he knew it wouldn’t go out-that Cynthia’s feelings would last for the rest of her life.

He dropped his gaze to Colton. The baby was as innocent of his father’s crimes as Jonathan had been of his mother’s. He saw that now. His father had been wrong to blame him, just as he, Jonathan, would be wrong to blame Colton. Not that he planned to do any such thing.

“I love him,” he said quietly.

Cynthia looked up and smiled. “I hoped you would. Loving a child is the most pure act we humans are capable of. Especially loving a child who isn’t our own. It’s a selfless giving that returns the most amazing reward. For being loved by that child is the greatest gift of all.”

He looked at her and knew that he’d been a fool to ever let her go. She was the best part of his world. She who gave from the very depths of her being, had offered him her heart and he’d turned it down. Because he’d been afraid and unworthy. He might never be worthy, but he could stop being a coward.

“I don’t agree with you,” he told her. “I think the greatest gift is to be loved by someone who sees only the best in other people. Someone good and kind, yet smart and fun to be with.”

Cynthia stared at him. He could tell that she didn’t know what to think about his words.

“If you thought walking away from me was the best for me, not for you,” he said, “would you do it?”

She frowned. “Of course.”

He took a step toward her. “You’ll always be the better person. Because I know that the best thing for me is to walk away from you and there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you go.” He took another step, then shoved his hands into his jeans pockets.

“I’m standing at the crossroads of my life,” he said. “My heart and my soul ache. One of the paths in front of me leads to the autonomy and loneliness I’ve always known. You and Colton are the other path. He’s stuck with me, but you get to make a choice.”

He paused and found he was nervous. He had to clear his throat before speaking. “If you were someone else, I would try to seduce you with my net worth, but if you were that person I wouldn’t be interested, so what’s the point?”

Her hazel-green eyes were huge in her still face, but she didn’t speak. He kind of hoped she would at least give him a hint as to what she was thinking, but when she didn’t, he was forced to go on.

“I don’t have anything to offer you,” he said haltingly. “Nothing really important. I don’t know how to love you or be a good husband. I only know that if you give me another chance, you won’t regret it. I’ll learn how to be the man you deserve. I’ll show you in a thousand different ways how important you are to me, how amazing it is that I can finally understand what it means to love someone.”