‘And the correct . .. answer ... is ...’ the question master strung it out X Factor style, ‘... Mary ...

Ann ... Evans!’

‘For fuck’s sake,’ groaned Bob.

‘No,’ Lola heard herself blurt the word out, shock prickling at the base of her skull. Shaking her head in disbelief, she said, ‘That’s wrong!’

Jerry’s tone was bitter. ‘You’re wrong.’

‘YEEEAAAHHH!’ Realising they’d won the competition, the Deadly Dunns were cheering their heads off.

‘But I’m not wrong. Mary Anne Evans married a man called John Cross ... she did ..: The words died in Lola’s throat as she realised it no longer mattered; the game was over and she’d lost it —

irony of ironies — by trying to be too clever.

Barn, went the cork as it flew out of the Deadly Dunns’ triumphantly shaken bottle of champagne. Everyone else in the room was applauding them. They rose to their feet and bowed, before breaking into a boisterous chorus of ‘We Are the Champions’.

Bob shook his head in disgust.

Tony said, ‘Shit, they’re never going to let us forget this.’

Lola was bursting for the loo. If she left the table now, they’d all talk about how rubbish she was.

Oh well, who cared? If she didn’t leave the table now she’d really give them something to talk about.

The ladies’ loo was blessedly cool, a calm ivory marble haven from the babbling crowds in the ballroom. Having touched up her make-up and enjoyed five minutes of peace and quiet, Lola was just putting away her lipstick when the door swung open and Doug said, ‘There you are.’

His miss-nothing gaze checked out her face. ‘Are you OK?’

‘Fine: As one of the loos was flushed behind her, Lola said, ‘You aren’t allowed in here.’

‘Come outside then.’ He held the door open and ushered her past him. In the corridor he said, ‘I thought you might have been upset.’

‘You mean crying?’ Lola was glad the whites of her eyes were still clear and white. ‘I wouldn’t give your friends the satisfaction. And I’m not upset, I’m just sorry I let you down.’

Doug shook his head. ‘Hey, it doesn’t matter. It was only meant to be a bit of fun. I had no idea Tony was going to take the whole thing so seriously. They’re not my friends either,’ he added.

‘Tony works for me. Jerry and Bob are friends of his. Tony was the one who persuaded me that coming here tonight would be good PR. He can be a bit of an arse. Well, quite a lot of an arse.

Tony takes his quizzes very seriously.’

‘He’s a cheating arse,’ said Lola; it was no good, she couldn’t not tell him. ‘I gave him the Tolpuddle martyrs answer. I did,’she insisted when Doug look amused. ‘That was me! He just couldn’t bear to admit it.’

‘OK. Well, I’m glad you’re all right. And I’m sorry about Tony.’

Touched by his concern — that had to be an encouraging sign, surely — Lola smiled and said,

‘Thanks. Not your fault.’

Doug hesitated. ‘I was going to ask you, how’s it going with your father?’

Yay, another encouraging sign! ‘Pretty good. I’m trying to’ fix him up with my mum but she’s digging her heels in. I won’t give up though. When you know two people would be perfect together, if one of them could just forgive the other for some silly mistake they made years ago, you have to persevere. Otherwise it would just be a terrible waste,’ Lola said innocently. ‘Don’t you think?’

Dougie gave her that look she knew so well. ‘Maybe your mother really isn’t interested.’

‘Ah, but that’s the thing. Deep down, I think she still is.’ Lola gazed at him, longing to touch his face.’Remember that weekend we went to Brighton and you took loads of photos of me on the beach?’

Doug paused, clearly wondering if there was any point in trying to say no. He shrugged.

‘Vaguely.’

Vaguely, right. Which meant he was definitely lying. He’d been eighteen, she’d been seventeen and they’d made love at midnight on a lilo on the beach. How could any red-blooded male fail to remember a weekend like that?

‘I’d love to see those photos again.’

His mouth twitched. ‘You don’t give up, do you?’

Lola smiled back, realising that he wasn’t going to tell her whether or not he still had them. That was the trouble with trying to outsmart someone smarter than yourself. On the other hand, reminding him of the existence of the photos might prompt him to dig them out and the sight of her cavorting in the sea in her pink bikini might in turn remind him of how happy they’d been, and how happy they could be again.

‘Well,’ Dougie cleared his throat. ‘I suppose we’d—’

‘Yes, better get back.’ She dived in, saying the words before he could say them himself. ‘Don’t want people starting to wonder where we’ve got to. Just one thing first.’ Her heart beating faster, Lola rested a hand on his arm. ‘Seeing as- it’s New Year’s Eve and I probably won’t get the chance later, can I wish you a ...’ move towards him’. . . happy ..’slide your free arm, around his neck ‘... New ..’ half close your eyes, half open your mouth .. .

‘Year,’ said Doug, planting a brisk kiss on her cheek before stepping back.

Damn, foiled again. So near yet so far. This was a man with way too much self-control.

What a job.What was he doing here, freezing his nuts off outside a club, listening to everyone on the inside counting down to midnight?

Next to Gabe, Jez muttered, ‘Hey, man, happy New Year.’

‘Yeah, you too.’ Gabe huddled further inside his fleece, his breath puffing out in front of him, his hands so cold he could barely grip the camera.

‘It’s midnight. They’re all in there, going crazy.’ Shivering, Jez jerked his head. ‘Fancy a cup of tea in that café up the road?’ Gabe nodded; this had to be the best time to get one. Ten minutes later they made their way back to the club. ‘Bloody hell,’ cried one of the other paps, ‘you missed it! That EastEnders guy ran out; all he was wearing was his cowboy boots.’

‘You’re having us on.’ Jez paled.

‘Naked as a baby, I swear to God. And he did a handstand. Not a pretty sight.’ Chuckling, the pap showed them the shots on his camera. ‘That’s my work done for the night. Picked the wrong time to leave, you lads. Look out for these pictures in the News of the World.’ He left, crowing with delight.

Jez said with feeling, ‘I bloody hate this bloody job.’

‘Me too.’ But the annoying thing was, it had its addictive side. Balanced against the cold and the tedium and the endless hanging around was the knowledge that the next big picture might be only a click away. It was like shark fishing: one minute you were bored out of your mind, the next you were firing on all cylinders because at any second anything could happen .. . like this stretch limo heading down the street towards them now, slowing down. Getting his camera ready, Gabe experienced the now-familiar rush of adrenaline as a blacked-out window slid down.

He moved into position alongside Jez. Because this could be anyone — Jack Nicholson dressed as a nun, Mick Jagger with Lily Allen, Simon Cowell with

‘What the fuck?’ yelled Jez as half a dozen yellow plastic bazookas fired torrents of ice-cold water at them. Shaking his dripping hair out of his eyes, almost dropping his camera, Gabe cursed and watched the limo accelerate away. The occupants were roaring with laughter, delighted with their prank, and no one even knew who they were.

‘Happy New Year, losers,’ one of them bellowed through the window Gabe was soaked to the skin. Four interminable hours and he hadn’t managed so much as a single decent photo. This was possibly the very worst New Year’s Eve of his life.

Chapter 31

’I’m not sure this is such a good idea,’ said Lola. ‘Remind me again why we’re here?’

Because I’ve got the most enormous crush on your father and I’m longing to show off in front of him, knock him dead with my dazzling footwork and spinny twirls!

Sally didn’t actually say this out loud. Turning to Lola she explained, ‘Because it’s fun and it’s something you’ve never done before. I mean, look at this place! Did you ever see anything so pretty?’

Lola followed the expansive sweep of her arm, dutifully taking in the flaming torches and architectural lighting illuminating the courtyard’s classical façades. ‘I’m going to fall over and break my ankles.’

‘You won’t. I’ll show you how to do it properly. Besides, falling over’s all part of the fun.’

Personally Sally felt her choice of Somerset House ice rink, off the Strand, had been inspired.

‘And it’s only here for a couple more weeks – ooh look, there’s Nick!’

Luckily the sub-zero temperatures meant that her cheeks were already pink. In her white fake-fur hat and matching gilet,worn over a red cashmere sweater and black jeans, Sally was ready to impress the hell out of Lola’s dad. When Lola had idly wondered what father-daughter things she and Nick could do together on their road to getting to know each other, it had taken her ...

ooh, all of two seconds to think of something that could include her as well.

Even if it meant having to sacrifice Lola’s ankles to do it.

OK, that was just a joke; it wouldn’t really happen anyway. Oh God, look at Nick, he was so gorgeous, she could just-

‘Over here,’ Lola called out, windmilling both arms to attract his attention.

‘Hey, you two.’ Joining them, he gave Lola a hug and a kiss. She beamed, clearly delighted to see him again. ‘Look at you, so brown.’

Nick, just back from ten days in St Kitts, in turn greeted Sally with a kiss on the cheek that made her quiver like a terrier on a leash. Even his polite kisses were thrilling.

Nick grinned. ‘So you’re going to be teaching us all the moves tonight.’