“They hate me.”

“No, they don’t. You just need to wait until they process it.” I didn’t respond, because I didn’t believe him. A few minutes later, he asked, “Does Austin know?”

I nodded my head and told him everything that happened that afternoon. I didn’t cry again, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to cry again. My voice was robotic as I replayed the conversation, and I didn’t flinch when Keegan’s hard voice swore again that he would kill Austin. I knew he wouldn’t, but I had no doubt he would do something.

Keegan held me until I fell asleep on his shoulder from the exhaustion of the day. When I woke, it was dark in my room, but I could still make out my dad’s shape as he sat on the edge of my bed, his back to me, one of his hands gripping mine. I didn’t move, or give any indication that I’d woken. To be honest, I was afraid of what he’d say to me then.

He hunched in on himself, and his hand tightened around mine. And for the first time in my life, I watched my dad as he cried.

Chapter One

Reagan—­July 23, 2010

I BENT DOWN to kiss my son’s head, straightened, and tiptoed out of his room, shutting the door behind me. Grabbing my phone, I called my mom as I went around the apartment picking up the toys Parker had received for his sixth birthday.

“Hi, sweetheart!”

“Hey, Mom,” I huffed as I dropped everything into his toy chest and let the lid shut. “Parker passed out playing.”

Her soft laugh filled the phone. “I bet, today was crazy. Did he have fun?”

“Understatement. ‘Fun’ is an understatement. Thank you for everything you did to help. He really did have a blast, and he loved his presents.”

“Good, I’m glad. What are you going to do for the rest of the night? Did you want to come over for brunch tomorrow?”

I smiled as I waited for the next words that would come from her.

“I just hate that you two are so far away.”

Laughing, I plopped down on the couch and stretched out. “It’s not even a ten-­minute drive!”

“But you’re all alone, and ten minutes is a long time in case of an emergency.”

“Mom, I love you, we’re fine. I’m just going to watch TV until I’m tired, and, yes, brunch tomorrow sounds great.”

There was a beat of silence before she said, “You’re always welcome to bring someone, honey.”

I suppressed a groan. I knew she was just looking out for Parker and me, but I didn’t need—­or want—­a man in my life.

There hadn’t been anyone since Austin had given me an ultimatum of being together, or keeping Parker. There hadn’t been a need for a guy. I knew no one would want a child at my age, and I had my family.

Even though the first day of my family knowing had been intense—­well, really, the first month had been—­my family had supported my decision to keep the baby, and had been there for me through everything. Keegan had gone to Austin’s that first night and beaten the shit out of him. Austin and his parents hadn’t pressed charges when Keegan told his parents about our breakup, and Austin hadn’t said a word to me since.

I’d continued going to school, and when rumors started flying about my growing belly, Austin told all our friends that I’d cheated on him. He’d taken another beating from Keegan for that, but I never tried to stop the rumors. Like I’d done in our last minutes together, I’d refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much he’d hurt me.

I refused to let anyone see how much they were hurting me.

With help from my mom, I’d finished out the rest of high school, and graduated with a 3.9 GPA. Even though my parents encouraged me to go to college, I’d decided against it and had immediately begun looking for a job that could support my son and me. I’d started at the bottom of a local business, and had quickly worked my way up over the last four years. Within six months of graduation, Parker and I had moved into the apartment we still lived in, and I’d fought my mom on putting him in day care.

She’d won.

She watched him while I worked, but I paid her just as much as the nicest day care in the city charged. I wasn’t stupid, though; I knew she was “secretly” putting the money in a college account for Parker. But Dad had made me promise I wouldn’t let on to the fact that I knew, so I’d kept paying her, and Parker had continued going to her house five days a week until he’d gone into kindergarten last year.

My life was perfect. My son was healthy and incredibly smart, he and I both had a great relationship with my parents and brother, and I was supporting us well enough that we lived in a great complex and I could give him whatever he wanted. Eh, well, to an extent. But why mess that up by throwing a guy into the picture?

“Mom, I’m not bringing anyone.”

“You need a man in your life . . . Parker needs a dad.”

Damn it. I hated when she involved Parker . . . she knew how that got to me. “He has Keegan and Dad.”

“Keegan only comes home every other weekend if he’s not deployed.”

Keegan had joined the army after deciding college wasn’t for him, two years in. I was so proud of him, and thankful he was stationed only a little over an hour from Denver so he could come home often. “And he’s getting out soon, so he’ll be around more.”

“I know you can do this on your own, Reagan. But that doesn’t mean you have to or should.”

“Dating would be exhausting for me . . . and I don’t want to put Parker through that.” I chewed on my bottom lip for a second as I debated whether or not I should voice my fears. With a hard breath, I told her the rest quickly. “Austin didn’t want him, I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I let someone into our life and he decided he didn’t want Parker either.”

“Reagan,” she crooned, her voice wavering. “They won’t all be like him.”

“I know, I just—­I’m not ready for that possibility. You know? I can take the rejection . . . just not if they reject him.”

“I understand, sweetheart. I really do. But I’ll never stop praying for the perfect man for you and Parker.”

I wanted to tell her that even if he was out there, I probably wouldn’t give him the time of day; but the way she was talking broke my heart, so I kept my mouth shut. I knew everyone in my family wanted that for Parker and me, and it’s not that I didn’t want that for us either. I just couldn’t imagine myself taking that leap of faith in someone else. Someone who could potentially ruin us forever.

Coen—­July 30, 2010

“SACO, MAN, YOU can’t let her fucking do this to you. It’s your fucking kid, she can’t just keep him from you.”

“What am I supposed to do? Try to get custody of him from my own wife? I’ve never even seen him before. I was gone through Liv’s pregnancy, the delivery, and for the first three months of his life. No judge is going to grant me custody.”

“So you’re actually going to listen to her? This is bullshit.”

“I know, Steele, but I have no choice. I need to be able to see my son. I’m already waiting on this realtor to go look at some places. I’ll call you when I have news, yeah?”

“Yeah, all right. Sorry this is happening, man, I really am.”

“Me too.” An exhausted sigh sounded through the phone. “Later.”

I pressed END, and looked over at Hudson. “His bitch wife is making him buy them a house before she’ll let him meet their son.”

“The fuck?” Hudson balked, and lowered himself into a chair. “Can she do that?”

I shrugged and tossed my phone onto my dresser. “Apparently, because he’s meeting with a realtor.”

Our friend, Brody Saco, had gotten out of the army not even a week ago. He’d been planning on making this a career, but all that had changed when his girl from back home wound up pregnant. He’d married her immediately, and ever since then, she’d refused to see him or let him meet their son—­and it’d been a year since their wedding. I could respect him for taking responsibility, but we all felt bad for him because he’d blindly gone into a shit storm with her.

“What are you doing this weekend?” Hudson asked me, and it was then I noticed his backpack sitting at his feet.

“Got some shoots booked in the area. You heading home?”

He nodded and drummed his hands on the arms of the chair. “Yeah, I missed my nephew’s birthday last weekend, I need to go see him and my sister.”

“All right, I’ll see you when you get back.”

“If you don’t feel like coming back to base between your shoots, hit me up, you can stay at my parents’ place or something.”

I laughed and shook my head. “Nah, I’m good. Thanks though.”

Hudson stood to leave, but stopped at the door, and a knowing look crossed his face. “Try to get some sleep.”

“Uh . . . yeah. I’ll do that.”

He and I both knew that wouldn’t be happening. I was lucky if I got two hours in a night. If I didn’t have photos I could edit during those long hours, I would go insane.

Once he was gone, I made sure everything was charged, and packed up all my equipment before heading out to the studio I had in Denver. I had a few photo shoots set up for the night—­some with friends, and one with a new client. The shoots, along with the editing and wedding I was covering the next day, would keep me busy throughout the weekend. Busy was how I liked my life. How I preferred it. It kept me from remembering things I wished I’d never seen.


TWO WEEKS LATER, I walked into the room I’d been sharing with Hudson since Saco had gotten out, and stood there staring at everything for a few minutes. Today was bittersweet. It was a day I’d been waiting on for months now, and at the same time, a day I couldn’t have prepared for.