'So … Jack,' says Nev in a matey voice. 'What does a guy like you drive, then? No, don't tell me.' He lifts his hand. 'A Porsche. Am I right?'

Jack meets my eye with a quizzical expression, and I stare back him beseechingly, trying to convey to him that I had no choice, that I'm really sorry, that basically I want to die …

'I take it my cover's been blown,' he says with a grin.

'Jack!' exclaims Kerry, who has regained her composure. She gives him an ingratiating smile and thrusts out her hand. 'Good to meet you properly.'

'Absolutely!' says Jack. 'Although … didn't we just meet?'

'As professionals,' says Kerry smoothly. 'One business-owner to another. Here's my card, and if you ever need any help with travel arrangements of any sort, please give me a call. Or if you wanted to meet up socially … perhaps the four of us could go out some time! Play a round? Couldn't we, Emma?'

I stare at her blankly. Since when have Kerry and I ever socialized together?

'Emma and I are practically sisters, of course,' she adds sweetly, putting her arm round me. 'I'm sure she's told you.'

'Oh, she told me a few things,' says Jack, his expression unreadable. He takes a bite of roast chicken and starts to chew it.

'We grew up together, we shared everything.' Kerry gives me a squeeze and I try to smile, but her perfume is nearly choking me.

'Isn't that nice!' says Mum in pleasure. 'I wish I had a camera.'

Jack doesn't reply. He's just giving Kerry this long, appraising look.

'We couldn't be closer!' Kerry's smile grows even more ingratiating. She's squeezing me so hard, her talons are digging into my flesh. 'Could we, Ems?'

'Er, no,' I say at last. 'No, we couldn't.'

Jack's still chewing his chicken. He swallows it, then looks up.

'So, I guess that must have been a pretty tough decision for you when you had to turn Emma down,' he says conversationally to Kerry. 'You two being so close, and all.'

'Turn her down?' Kerry gives a tinkling laugh. 'I don't know what on earth you—'

'That time she applied for work experience in your firm and you turned her down,' says Jack pleasantly, and takes another bite of chicken.

I can't quite move.

That was a secret. That was supposed to be a secret.

'What?' says Dad, half laughing. 'Emma applied to Kerry?'

'I … I don't know what you're talking about!' says Kerry, going a little pink.

'I think I have this right,' says Jack, chewing. 'She offered to work for no money … but you still said no.' He looks perplexed for a moment. 'Interesting decision.'

Very slowly, Mum and Dad's expressions are changing.

'But of course, fortunate for us here at the Panther Corporation,' Jack adds cheerfully. 'We're very glad Emma didn't make a career in the travel industry. So I guess I have to thank you, Kerry! As one business-owner to another.' He smiles at her. 'You did us a big favour.'

Kerry is completely puce.

'Kerry, is this true?' says Mum sharply. 'You wouldn't help Emma when she asked?'

'You never told us about this, Emma.' Dad looks completely taken aback.

'I was embarrassed, OK?' I say, my voice jumping a bit.

'Bit cheeky of Emma to ask,' says Nev, taking a huge bite of pork pie. 'Using family connections. That's what you said, wasn't it, Kerry?'

'Cheeky?' echoes Mum in disbelief. 'Kerry, if you remember, we lent you the money to start that company. You wouldn't have a company without this family.'

'It wasn't like that,' says Kerry, darting an annoyed look at Nev. 'There's been a … a crossed wire. Some confusion!' She pats her hair, and gives me another smile. 'Obviously I'd be delighted to help you with your career, Ems. You should have said before! Just call me at the office, I'll do anything I can …'

I gaze back at her, full of loathing. I cannot believe she is trying to wriggle out of this. She is the most two-faced cow in the entire world.

'There's no crossed wire, Kerry,' I say, as calmly as I can. 'We both know exactly what happened. I asked you for help and you wouldn't give it to me. And fine, it's your company and it was your decision and you had every right to make it. But don't try and say it didn't happen, because it did.'

'Emma!' says Kerry, with a little laugh, and tries to reach for my hand. 'Silly girl! I had no idea! If I'd known it was important …'

If she'd known it was important? How could she not know it was important?

I jerk my hand away and stare back at Kerry. I can feel all the old hurt and humiliation building up inside me, rising up like hot water inside a pipe, until suddenly the pressure is unbearable.

'Yes you did!' I hear myself crying. 'You knew exactly what you were doing! You knew how desperate I was! Ever since you've arrived in this family you've tried to squash me down. You tease me about my crap career. You boast about yourself. I spend my entire life feeling small and stupid. Well, fine. You win, Kerry! You're the star and I'm not. You're the success and I'm the failure. But just don't pretend to be my best friend, OK? Because you're not, and you never will be!'

I finish, and look around the gobsmacked picnic rug, breathing hard. I have a horrible feeling I might burst into tears, any moment.

I meet Jack's eye and he gives me a tiny, way-to-go smile. Then I risk a brief glance at Mum and Dad. They're both looking paralysed, as if they don't know what on earth to do.

The thing is, our family just doesn't do loud, emotional outbursts.

In fact, I'm not entirely sure what to do next myself.

'So, um … I'll be going, then,' I say, my voice shaking. 'I'll be off. Come on, Jack. We've got work to do.'

With wobbly legs, I turn on my heel and head off, stumbling slightly on the grass. Adrenalin is pumping round my body. I'm so wound up, I barely know what I'm doing.

'That was fantastic, Emma,' comes Jack's voice in my ear. 'You were great! Absolutely … logistical assessment,' he adds more loudly as we pass Cyril.

'I've never spoken like that in my life,' I say. 'I've never … operational management,' I quickly add, as we pass a couple of people from Accounts.

'I guessed as much,' he says, shaking his head. 'Jesus, that cousin of yours … valid assessment of the market.'

'She's a total — spreadsheet,' I say quickly as we pass Connor. 'So … I'll get that typed up for you, Mr Harper.'

Somehow we make it into the house and up the stairs. Jack leads me along a corridor, produces a key and opens a door. And we're in a room. A large, light, cream-coloured room. With a big double bed in it. The door closes, and suddenly all my nerves flood back. This is it. Finally this is it. Jack and me. Alone in a room. With a bed.

Then I catch sight of myself in a gilded mirror, and gasp in dismay. I'd forgotten I was in the stupid Snow White costume. My face is red and blotchy, my eyes are welling up, hair is all over the place, and my bra strap is showing.

This is so not how I thought I was looking.

'Emma, I'm really sorry I waded in there.' Jack's looking at me ruefully. 'I was way out of line. I had no right to butt in like that. I just … that cousin of yours got under my skin—'

'No!' I interrupt, turning to face him. 'It was good! I've never told Kerry what I thought of her before. Ever! It was … it was …' I tail off, breathing hard.

For a still moment there's silence. Jack's gazing at my flushed face. I'm staring back, my ribcage rising and falling, blood beating in my ears. Then suddenly he bends forward and kisses me.

His mouth is opening mine, and he's already tugging the elastic sleeves of my Snow White costume down off my shoulders, unhooking my bra. I'm fumbling for his shirt buttons. His mouth reaches my nipple and I'm starting to gasp with excitement when he pulls me down onto the sun-warmed carpet.

Oh my God, this is quick. He's ripping off my knickers. His hands are … his fingers are … I'm panting helplessly … We're going so fast I can barely register what's happening. This is nothing like Connor. This is nothing like I've ever — A minute ago I was standing at the door, fully clothed, and now I'm already — he's already —

'Wait,' I manage to say. 'Wait, Jack. I just need to tell you something.'

'What?' Jack looks at me with urgent, aroused eyes. 'What is it?'

'I don't know any tricks,' I whisper, a little gruffly.

'You don't what?' He pulls away slightly and stares at me.

'Tricks! I don't know any tricks,' I say defensively. 'You know, you've probably had sex with zillions of supermodels and gymnasts and they know all sorts of amazing …' I tail off at his expression. 'Nevermind,' I say quickly. 'It doesn't matter. Forget it.'

'I'm intrigued,' says Jack. 'Which particular tricks did you have in mind?'

Why did I ever open my stupid mouth? Why?

'I didn't!' I say, growing hot. 'That's the whole point, I don't know any tricks.'

'Neither do I,' says Jack, totally deadpan. 'I don't know one trick.'

I feel a sudden giggle rise inside me.

'Yeah, right.'

'It's true. Not one.' He pauses thoughtfully, running a finger around my shoulder. 'Oh, OK, Maybe one.'

'What?' I say at once.

'Well …' He looks at me for a long moment, then shakes his head. 'No.'

'Tell me!' And now I can't help giggling out loud.

'Show, not tell,' he murmurs against my ear, and pulls me towards him. 'Did nobody ever teach you that?'


EIGHTEEN



I'm in love.