'It's all right. I'm simply a fly on the wall.' He waves a friendly hand at her. 'Go ahead. Say whatever you were going to say.'
'Hi Katie!' I manage. 'What is it?'
As soon as I say her name, Jack Harper looks up again, a riveted expression on his face.
I do not like the look of that riveted expression.
What did I tell him about Katie? What? My mind spools furiously back. What did I say? What did I—
I feel an internal lurch. Oh God.
'… we have this secret code where she comes in and says, "Can I go through some numbers with you, Emma?" and it really means "Shall we nip out to Starbucks …"'
I told him our skiving code.
I stare desperately at Katie's eager face, trying somehow to convey the message to her.
Do not say it. Do not say you want to go over some numbers with me.
But she's completely oblivious.
'I just … erm …' She clears her throat in a businesslike way and glances selfconsciously at Jack Harper. 'Could I possibly go over some numbers with you, Emma?'
Fuck.
My face floods with colour. My whole body is prickling.
'You know,' I say, in a bright, artificial voice, 'I'm not sure that'll be possible today.'
Katie stares at me in surprise.
'But I have to … I really need you to go over some numbers with me.' She nods in excitement.
'I'm quite tied up here with my work, Katie!' I force a smile, simultaneously trying to telegraph 'Shut up!'
'It won't take long! Just quickly.'
'I really don't think so.'
Katie is practically hopping from foot to foot.
'But Emma, they're very … important numbers. I really need to … to tell you about them …'
'Emma.' At Jack Harper's voice I jump as though I've been stung. He leans towards me confidentially. 'Maybe you should go over the numbers.'
I stare back at him for a few moments, unable to speak, blood pounding in my ears.
'Right,' I manage after a long pause. 'OK. I'll do that.'
SEVEN
As I walk along the street with Katie, half of me is numb with horror, and half almost wants to burst into hysterical laughter. Everyone else is in the office, trying as hard as they can to impress Jack Harper. And here I am, strolling off nonchalantly under his nose for a cappuccino.
'I'm sorry I interrupted you,' says Katie brightly, as we push our way through the doors of Starbucks. 'With Jack Harper there and everything. I had no idea he'd be just sitting there! But you know, I was really subtle,' she adds reassuringly. 'He'll never know what we're up to.'
'I'm sure you're right,' I manage. 'He'll never guess in a million years.'
'Are you OK, Emma?' Katie looks at me curiously.
'I'm fine!' I say with a kind of shrill hilarity. 'I'm absolutely fine! So … why the emergency summit?'
'I had to tell you. Two cappuccinos, please.' Katie beams at me excitedly. 'You won't believe it!'
'What is it?'
'I've got a date. I met a new guy!'
'No!' I say, staring at her. 'Really? That was quick.'
'Yes, it happened yesterday, just like you said! I deliberately walked further than usual in my lunch hour, and I found this really nice place where they were serving lunch. And there was this nice man in the line next to me — and he struck up a conversation with me. Then we shared a table and chatted some more … and I was just leaving, when he said did I fancy having a drink some time?' She takes the cappuccinos with a beam. 'So we're going out this evening.'
'That's fantastic!' I say in delight. 'So come on, what's he like?'
'He's lovely. He's called Phillip! He's got these lovely twinkly eyes, and he's really charming and polite, and he's got a great sense of humour …'
'He sounds amazing!'
'I know. I have a really good feeling about him.' Katie's face glows as we sit down. 'I really do. He just seems different. And I know this sounds really stupid, Emma …' she hesitates. 'But I feel you somehow brought him to me.'
'Me?' I gape at her.
'You gave me the confidence to speak to him.'
'But all I said was—'
'You said you knew I'd meet someone. You had faith in me. And I did!' Her eyes begin to shine. 'I'm sorry,' she whispers, and dabs her eyes with a napkin. 'I'm just a bit overcome.'
'Oh Katie.'
'I just really think my life is going to turn around. I think everything's going to get better. And it's all down to you, Emma!'
'Really, Katie,' I say awkwardly. 'It was nothing.'
'It wasn't nothing!' she gulps. 'And I wanted to do something for you in return.' She rummages in her bag and pulls out a large piece of orange crochet. 'So I made you this last night.' She looks at me expectantly. 'It's a headscarf.'
For a few moments, I can't move. A crochet headscarf.
'Katie,' I manage at last, turning it over in my fingers. 'Really, you … you shouldn't have!'
'I wanted to! To say thank you.' She looks at me earnestly. 'Especially after you lost that crochet belt I made for you for Christmas.'
'Oh!' I say, feeling a pang of guilt. 'Er, yes. That was … such a shame.' I swallow. 'It was a lovely belt. I was really upset to lose it.'
'Oh what the hell!' Her eyes well up again. 'I'll make you a new belt, too.'
'No!' I say in alarm. 'No, Katie, don't do that.'
'But I want to!' She leans forward and gives me a hug. 'That's what friends are for!'
It's another twenty minutes before we finish our second cappuccinos and head back for the office. As we approach the Panther building I glance at my watch and see with a lurch that we've been gone thirty-five minutes in all.
'Isn't it amazing we're getting new coffee machines?' says Katie as we hurry up the steps.
'Oh … yes. It's great.'
My stomach has started to churn at the thought of facing Jack Harper again. I haven't felt so nervous since I took my grade one clarinet exam and when the examiner asked me what my name was I burst into tears.
'Well, see you later,' says Katie as we reach the first floor. 'And thanks, Emma.'
'No problem,' I say. 'See you later.'
As I start to walk along the corridor towards the marketing department, I'm aware that my legs aren't moving quite as quickly as usual. In fact, as the door is nearing, they're getting slower, and slower … and slower …
One of the secretaries from Accounts overtakes me, with a brisk high-heeled pace, and gives me an odd look.
Oh God. I can't go in there.
Yes I can. It'll be fine. I'll just sit down very quietly and get on with my work. Maybe he won't even notice me.
Come on. The longer I leave it, the worse it'll be. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, take a few steps into the marketing department, and open them.
There's a hubbub around Artemis's desk, and no sign of Jack Harper.
'I mean, maybe he's going to rethink the whole company,' someone's saying.
'I've heard this rumour he's got a secret project …'
'He can't completely centralize the marketing function,' Artemis is saying, trying to raise her voice above everyone else's.
'Where's Jack Harper?' I say, trying to sound casual.
'He's gone,' says Nick, and I feel a whoosh of relief. Gone! He's gone!
'Is he coming back?'
'Don't think so. Emma, have you done those letters for me yet? Because I gave them to you three days ago—'
'I'll do them now,' I say, and beam at Nick. As I sit down at my desk, I feel as light as a helium balloon. Cheerfully I kick off my shoes, reach for my Evian bottle — and stop.
There's a folded piece of paper resting on my keyboard, with 'Emma' written on it in a handwriting I don't recognize.
Puzzled, I look around the office. No-one's looking at me, waiting for me to find it. In fact no-one seems to have noticed. They're all too busy talking about Jack Harper.
Slowly I unfold it and stare at the message inside.
Hope your meeting was productive. I always find numbers give me a real buzz.
Jack Harper
It could have been worse. It could have read 'Clear your desk'.
Even so, for the rest of the day, I'm completely on edge. Every time anyone walks into the department I feel a little spasm of panic. And when someone starts talking loudly outside our door about how 'Jack says he may pop back into Marketing', I seriously consider hiding in the loos until he's gone.
On the dot of 5.30 I stop typing mid-sentence, close my computer down and grab my coat. I'm not waiting around for him to reappear. I all but run down the stairs, and only begin to relax when I'm safely on the other side of the big glass doors.
The tubes are miraculously quick for once, and I arrive home within twenty minutes. As I push open the front door of the flat I can hear a strange noise coming from Lissy's room. A kind of thumping, bumping sound. Maybe she's moving her furniture around.
'Lissy,' I call asl go into the kitchen. 'You will not believe what happened today.' I open the fridge, take out a bottle of Evian and hold it against my hot forehead. After a while I open the bottle and take a few swigs, then wander out into the hall again to see Lissy's door opening.
'Lissy!' I begin. 'What on earth were you—'
And then I halt, as out of the door comes not Lissy, but a man.
A man! A tall thin guy in trendy black trousers and steel spectacles.
'Oh,' I say, taken aback. 'Er … hi.'
'Emma!' says Lissy, following him out. She's wearing a T-shirt over some grey leggings I've never seen before, is drinking a glass of water and looks startled to see me. 'You're home early.'
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