“I like you very much,” she said honestly. “Are you having some kind of insecurity crisis? Should I call your shrink?”

“No, he's in Mexico on vacation. I must pay him too much. I like you, too. Maybe you and I should go out during this picture.”

“Are you nuts? I'm twice the age of the women you go out with. Besides, I don't want to get engaged unless I can keep the ring.”

“That's annoying,” he said, looking thoughtful. “We could go out and not get engaged. That's a better deal for me.”

“Or not go out, and say we did,” she teased him, as he sat up on the couch suddenly, looking like he'd been struck by lightning.

“Christ, I think I have the hots for you, Tanya. I mean it. It just occurred to me.”

“You're probably just hungry. Call room service.”

“No, I'm serious. You turn me on. I just realized it. You're very funny. You're smart, and you're sexy as hell.”

“No, I'm not.”

“Yes, you are. I think smart women are very sexy.”

“I'm not your type,” she reminded him, unimpressed by his discovery. He was just shooting off his mouth, but it was fun listening to him. She enjoyed him. And looking at him was certainly a treat.

“No, you're not my type,” he agreed. “I usually go for dumber women with bigger boobs. Am I your type?” he asked with interest.

“Not at all,” she reassured him. “I like them older and more serious. Kind of preppy. My husband was an attorney.”

“I'm definitely not your type,” he said, appearing both thunderstruck and delighted. “Do you know what that means?” he said, visibly thrilled.

“Yes, that we won't be dating,” she laughed at him. “I can figure that much out.”

“No, when people aren't each other's type, they get married. When they're each other's type, they have a hot affair and fuck it up just like they always did. It's the ones who aren't your type that you're supposed to marry. None of my wives were my type,” he said, as though to prove the point.

“And you're not married to them anymore. So much for that idea.”

“Yeah, but I still love them, and they love me. I think they're terrific.”

“You've finally convinced me, Gordon. You're certifiably crazy. Maybe you should go out on disability.”

“No, I mean it. I want to date you. We don't have to get engaged or married, if you don't want to. Let's just try it and see what happens.”

“My children would kill me if I married you,” she said, laughing. Actually Molly had thought he was fantastic and the funniest man she'd ever met. Tanya was inclined to agree. But that didn't make him dating material, just amusing to be with.

“My children would love you,” he said seriously. “So what do you think?”

“I think it's time for you to go back to your room. It must be time for your medication or something. Or mine, if you hang around here much longer with crazy ideas like that.” With that, he got up off the couch, walked to where she was sitting, and kissed her, gently, on the mouth, like a real kiss. She looked at him in astonishment, as though he had done something truly outrageous, which he had. But he was so persistent, and so insanely sexy, that she found herself kissing him back, and wondering why she did. And then he kissed her again. He was a hell of a good kisser.

“See what I mean? You're not my type, but you turn me on like crazy, Tanya.”

“You turn me on, too,” she admitted, looking dazed. “Look, Gordon, this is not a good idea. Let's not do something really stupid. Let's be friends.”

“Let's fall in love. It's more fun,” he suggested.

“It'll be a mess if we do.”

“No, it won't. I'm telling you, we could end up getting married.”

“No, we won't!” she said emphatically.

“Okay, okay. Sorry. I won't mention marriage. Let's go to bed with each other,” he said, as he put an arm around her and continued to kiss her. But it was too much fun to stop. They were both loving it. He was the sexiest man Tanya had ever met, as well as the funniest. It was an unbeatable combination, and nearly impossible to resist, although she was trying, and not getting anywhere. He wouldn't stop kissing her.

“I won't go to bed with you either,” she said, sounding outraged.

He didn't argue with her, but half an hour later, they did. Tanya was horrified afterward and couldn't believe she'd done it.

“You're a lunatic, Gordon Hawkins,” she said, lying in bed with their arms around each other. They'd had fun, and he was sweet, and he said he loved her body. He was fabulous in bed.

“You're gorgeous, Tanya,” he said, nuzzling her like a big puppy. He was so gentle and affectionate, it was delicious. She loved being with him, and making love with him had been extremely nice.

“Go to your room, Gordon,” she said, and tried to sound as though she meant it, but she didn't, and he didn't move an inch. He stayed in her bed, holding her all night. They made love two more times and slept like children. They woke up the next day with the sun streaming into the room, and took a shower together. They had breakfast in her room, and then he went back to his to get dressed. They left for the studio together, as Tanya looked at him in amazement. She couldn't believe she had slept with him, but she wasn't unhappy about it, even if she thought she should be.

“So what is this?” she asked him as they drove to the studio. “Your affair for the movie? How crazy is that?”

“Maybe it could be forever,” he said hopefully. “You never know. I'd like it to be. I like you a lot, Tanya.”

“I like you, too, Gordon,” she said softly, wondering to herself what she was doing. She had no idea. But whatever it was, it wasn't hurting anyone and she was having a good time. How bad could that be?





Chapter 22




Tanya's affair with Gordon Hawkins while they worked on the movie together was possibly one of the craziest things she'd ever done. It felt like it, it looked like it, and it seemed like it. But she'd never had so much fun in her life. And the script was like silk to write.

He sat in her bungalow at night, watching television, while she tried out ideas on him. Some he thought were funny, some he didn't. But he always came up with great suggestions for her. She was thrilled with what was happening with the script, and even more so with what was happening with him. She could see why he had been married so often, and had so many girlfriends. Gordon was wonderful to women and genuinely liked them. He had no chip on his shoulder, no ax to grind. He was just a truly nice person, who loved being with her. And when Megan and Jason came down from Santa Barbara to visit her on the set, he was wonderful to them, and they fell in love with him. They begged her to invite Gordon to Marin over the break.

“I'm sure he has better things to do.” Tanya tried to discourage them. There was nothing serious about what was happening. She didn't want them getting too attached to him. But when she finally got up the guts to suggest it to him, he thought it was a terrific idea. He suggested they stay for a few days, and then all go skiing together. He said he'd like nothing better than spending a week with her and her kids.

She couldn't believe her eyes the day he arrived in Marin. His hair was sticking up straight, he was wearing jeans and a turtleneck, and he had four giant suitcases with him, loaded with his gear. He was beaming from ear to ear and swung her around her kitchen as the kids watched with amusement. He looked like he was moving in, which would have delighted them.

He took all of them out to dinner that night, Tanya, her kids, and half a dozen of their friends. He made popcorn for everyone afterward, and finally after everyone else had gone to bed, he helped Tanya clean up, and followed her upstairs to bed.

“I love this house,” he said happily, “and your kids are so great.” She was beginning to wonder if she had finally lucked out, and found the man of her dreams, or if he came from another planet. Maybe both.

The next morning she went grocery shopping with him, and they both laughed as people stopped to stare when they recognized him.

“My God, I think that's Gordon Hawkins,” one woman whispered to another at the checkout counter, as he continued to juggle cans of chili she had bought for Jason. He enjoyed whatever he was doing, and whoever he was with. He was the easiest person to be with she had ever met in her life. And by the time they got to Tahoe to go skiing, she was really beginning to wonder if she was in love with him. It was impossible not to be. There was nothing about him you couldn't love, and he was incredibly kind to Tanya and her children.

He was also a nearly Olympic-class skier. He and Jason made endless runs down the mountain, on all the hardest trails. He showed the girls some new techniques, and then skied sedately for a while with Tanya. There seemed to be nothing he couldn't do. And he caused a sensation in the restaurants they went to at night. Everybody recognized him, wanted autographs, stopped to talk to him, and felt as though they'd made a new friend when they walked away. Tanya knew what a big star he was, but she didn't get a sense of it until people begged him constantly to pose for photographs with them.

“Good lord, Gordon, everybody on the planet knows you.”

“I hope so.” He grinned at her happily. Tanya looked just as happy as he did, and so did her kids. “If they didn't, I'd be out of a job. They would never have hired me for the picture we're working on, and I would never have met you, or your kids. So it's a damned good thing they all know me.” It made sense.

They all hated to leave Tahoe after five days, especially her kids. It was a far cry from the vacation she, Molly, and Jason had taken the year before on Douglas's yacht. What a misery that had been for them. And what a joy this was for them all. It was particularly fun because Gordon had such a good time himself. He was always in a good mood, loved everyone he met, and enjoyed everything he did. It was hard to beat. And Tanya didn't try. She no longer asked herself what the relationship was about, what it meant, or where it was going. She was enjoying the hell out of it, and she let it go at that. So did Gordon. He had even stopped saying that she wasn't his type. They were all sorry when the vacation came to an end, and they had to close the house in Marin again and head south.