“Do I want to know how your break went?” he asked gently. He had already guessed. She looked about the same as she had after Christmas, only slightly worse. He could guess the outcome.

“No, you don't.” And then she decided to tell him. “He's moving in with the other woman, after the girls graduate in June. He thinks they're getting married. Apparently, it was ‑meant to be.’; My very own real-life soap. How cheesy does it get? You have to ask yourself that question.”

“Life is cheesy,” Max said sympathetically. He noticed that she seemed angrier than she had in December. And underneath the anger, heartbroken. He could see it. “It's amazing how tacky life is sometimes, even among allegedly civilized people. I guess we all behave like shows about people in trailer parks sometimes, whether we want to or not. It's why those agony shows work so well on TV.”

“I guess so,” she said, smiling wistfully at him. “I'll be okay. It just takes some adjustment.” He knew her kids were going to college at the end of the summer. She would be alone, which he suspected wouldn't be easy for her. Her family had been all she talked about all year. And now her husband was leaving. She was about to lose everyone she loved, in one way or another. And the husband, fool that he was, in Max's opinion, was going off with her best friend. Max couldn't help agreeing with her. It was tacky. And sad for her. He felt genuinely sorry for her.

“Sometimes the worst shit that happens to us turns out to be a blessing. We just don't see it at the time. One day you may look back and feel that way. On the other hand, one day you may look back and decide that this time in your life was truly fucked.” She smiled in spite of herself at what he said.

“I think that might be the case. I'm not enjoying this much.”

“At least we know you're sane. I think the only decent advice I have for you is that your salvation will be work. Mine has always been. When the love of my life died of breast cancer, the only thing that saved my ass and kept me sane was work. It's the only way to go.” Tanya nodded. She hadn't thought of that. She'd been thinking about their summer plans and what it would be like to go to Tahoe without Peter, after they told the girls the news, of course. And she had thought about taking them to college. They had gotten their college acceptances while she was home on vacation. The excitement of it had been totally obscured for her by her broken heart. At least the girls had been thrilled. Both girls had gotten into their first-choice schools. Megan was going to UCSB with her brother, and Molly was going to film school at USC. But Tanya had absolutely no idea what she would do after they left. She had thought she would finally have the chance to spend more time with Peter, but he would be doing that with Alice now. Tanya felt like a marble in a shoebox, rolling around aimlessly, with no anchor to keep her in place. All her anchors were about to leave. It was a terrifying thought. Max was right. The only thing she had left was work, and holidays with her kids.

She went home every weekend during postproduction. Their schedule was far more civilized now. She did her best to avoid Peter, who was spending a lot of time next door with Alice. And the girls asked her no questions. It was as though there were a minefield all around them and they knew it, and were being careful not to set anything off. She wondered what they thought. They would all know soon enough. She was dreading telling them and Jason in June. In the meantime she kept to herself, spent time with the girls on the weekends, and started writing extremely depressing short stories at night, an unusual number of them about death. In a sense, their marriage had died, and the only way she knew to mourn it was to write about it. Peter saw one of them on her computer one afternoon, read it, and cringed. She was in a very bleak state of mind.

Douglas met with her in the last week of postproduction in May and made an interesting suggestion. They had had easy dinners several times, to discuss work. He had invited her to his pool again, but she was gone every weekend save one, and that weekend she didn't accept either. She was too depressed. He was planning to produce another movie, with a different director this time, a well-known woman, who had also won many Oscars. It was an extremely depressing story about a woman who committed suicide, and he wanted Tanya to do the script. It suited her mood at the moment, but she had no desire to come back to L.A. In her heart of hearts, she thought her marriage had ended as a result of her working there on the film. It had left a bad taste in her mouth. All she wanted now was to go back to Marin. She told Douglas that over dinner, and he laughed.

“Oh, not that again, Tanya. For God's sake, you don't belong there. Go write short stories there for a while, and come back. Your days in Marin are over, or should be. You wrote a hell of a screenplay on this one, it might even win you an Oscar. And if it doesn't, the next one will. You can't escape your fate. Your husband will get over it. He made it through this year,” he said confidently. “He'll make it through the next.”

“Actually, he didn't,” Tanya said quietly. “We're getting divorced.” For once, Douglas looked stunned.

“You? The perfect wife? I can't believe it. When did that happen? You said you were having some problems after Christmas. I just assumed everything worked out. I have to admit I'm shocked.”

“Me too.” Tanya said, looking devastated. “He told me in March. He's moving in with my best friend.”

“How trite. See what I mean?” Douglas didn't miss a beat. “You don't belong there. People in Marin show no imagination. I want to start shooting this picture in October. Give it some thought. I'll call your agent and make a proposal.” Douglas was even nicer than usual to her after that and called her agent. Walt called her the next day, stunned over the money. They had offered her even more than before. Douglas wanted her on the picture, no matter what. But she was adamant. She had done L.A. and had no desire to come back. She didn't mind the work, but the fallout had broken her heart. She wanted to go home now and lick her wounds.

“You have to do this, Tan,” her agent said. “You can't turn down a deal like that.”

“Yes, I can. I'm going home.” The trouble was, she had no real home to go to now. She had a house, but there would be no one in it. When she went back to Marin the following weekend, she thought about it and realized how agonizing the house would be without her children. Once the girls left for college in late August, with Peter gone, she'd be totally alone. For the first time in her life. She called Walt on Monday and told him to accept Douglas's deal. She had nothing else to do. She signed the deal the following week. And when she told him, Peter was smug about it.

“I told you you'd go back.” But it didn't make him right. She would never have gone back if he weren't leaving her for Alice. In a sense, he had driven her back to L.A. She talked to Max about it, and he congratulated her for the right decision, and she knew he was right. However much she hated Hollywood, once Peter and the girls were gone, she knew that work would save her life.

The rest of the summer was one nightmare after another. She finished postproduction in the last week of May and went home to Marin. The girls graduated a week later, with all the usual pomp and ceremony and tenderness. Peter had the good taste not to bring Alice to the graduation. And the next day they told the children they were getting divorced. Everyone cried, including Peter and Tanya. Megan said she was happy about Alice, though sorry for her mother. She actually put her arms around her and gave her a hug. Molly was crushed about the divorce, and Jason looked shocked, although he was close to James, Alice's son, and was happy about that. The kids were all upset about it, though not as much as Tanya would have thought. They all loved Alice, and although they were sorry for their mother, in some ways it made sense to them. They secretly thought Peter and Alice were a better match, although they didn't say that to their mother.

She told them she was making another movie in October, and none of them was surprised about that either. They asked about Tahoe, and she said she'd go with them. Peter and Alice were going to Maine that week, to visit relatives of hers. It was all very civilized and well organized, and the children had the option to visit whichever house they wanted, Tanya's or the one where their father would live with Alice. It was going to be an easier transition for them than it might have been if he had married someone else. And the day after they told them, Peter moved out, to the house Alice had bought in Mill Valley. She had already been there for a month. Hers next door was in escrow, and he said it had sold to a family they'd like, with kids the same age. All was right in their world, almost. It was a time of transition. Only Tanya looked as though her life had disintegrated and caved in. She could hardly wait to get back to work to keep her mind off everything else. She hated every aspect of her life now, except her children. She knew she wasn't much fun for them, she was too depressed. But she finally seemed more like her old self again when they went to Tahoe. In spite of everything that had happened that spring, when they got there, they all had fun. Even Tanya, who was already working on the new script at night. It was a depressing story, but she loved it, and it suited her black mood at the moment. Douglas called her about it from time to time. She faxed him pages, and he loved the direction she was going. He thought this one would win her an Oscar for sure, if not the last one. This one was called Gone.