“I don't know what it means,” he told Tanya honestly, hanging his head. He felt overwhelmed. “It just happened. I never even thought about it. I'd never been attracted to her. I think we just got used to being together while you were away. She's been a big help with the kids.”

“And with you apparently,” Tanya said grimly. “Did she put the make on you, or was this your idea?” She told herself she didn't want to know the details, and yet part of her did.

“It just happened, Tan. We went over for pizza. The girls came back here to do homework. I don't know …I was lonely …I was tired … we opened a bottle of wine, and the next thing I knew we were in bed.” He looked sick, and so did she.

“And when was that exactly? While you were telling me how much you love me, and I was calling you every time I could get off the set? How long has this been going on?” It was a horrifying thought, whenever it had been. She wondered just how long she'd been a fool, and for how many weeks or months he'd been lying to her. She had suspected it over Thanksgiving, and told herself she was paranoid. So had he. Was he lying then? She wanted to know that at least. Just how big a liar was he?

“It was after Thanksgiving. Two weeks ago.” He nearly choked on the words. And she had been gone for three. She hadn't been able to get home. The only thing she knew now for sure was what a colossal mistake it had been to go to L.A. to make the film. If it destroyed her marriage, she was never going to forgive herself, or him.

“Was it a one-time thing, or has it happened again?”

“It happened a couple of times,” he said vaguely. “We're both lonely, I guess. She needs someone to take care of her.” He sounded unspeakably sad, for all of them. Nothing would ever be the same. It was Tanya's worst fear. She had never expected this, neither from him nor from Alice. She couldn't conceive of doing it to them.

“I need someone to take care of me, too,” Tanya said, as she burst into tears.

“No, you don't,” he said, looking at her strangely. “You don't need me, Tan. You can move mountains, you always could. You're a strong woman, you have your own life and a career.” She looked shocked at what he said.

“I'm making this movie because you told me I should. You said it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I shouldn't miss it. I didn't just go off to have a career. That's always been a low priority for me, and you know it. You and the kids always came first, and still do.” He looked as though he didn't believe her, as they faced each other across the table. At that moment in time, the Grand Canyon was narrower than the gap between them.

“I don't think that's true anymore. Look at the life you lead down there. Face it, Tan, you're never going to want to come back here.” He looked convinced.

“Don't you give me that shit, too. There's nothing about that life I want. That's not who I am. I wanted to work on the project, just once, for the hell of it. But that's all. Nothing's changed for me. My life is here.”

“Whatever,” he said, and sounded just like Meg. Tanya had an overwhelming urge to slap him, but restrained herself. It was obvious that he didn't believe anything she'd said. But she wasn't at fault. He was. She was working in L.A., but she wasn't sleeping with anyone. Only him.

“What are you going to do? What do you want, Peter?” she asked, and held her breath while he sat hunched over the table and stared first at her hands, then at her.

“I don't know. This is all very new. I didn't see it coming, and Alice didn't either,” he said honestly. Tanya looked like a stranger to him now. He had never seen her this angry before. In truth, she was heartbroken, but it came out of her mouth as rage.

“I don't believe that,” Tanya said angrily. “I think she went after you, and the kids. She saw her opportunity as soon as I left. She's been working Megan since last summer.”

“She's not working her, she loves her.” He defended Alice, which didn't sit well with her, and only made things worse.

“And what about you?” Tanya asked hoarsely as tears rolled down her cheeks. “Are you in love with her?”

“I don't know what I am, other than confused. I've never cheated on you once, Tan, in twenty years. I want you to know that.”

“What difference does it make now?” she sobbed. He reached out to touch her hand, and she pulled it away.

“It makes a lot of difference to me,” he said, looking anguished. “This would never have happened if you hadn't gone to L.A.” It was so unfair to blame her now, but he did anyway. And privately, so did she.

“And now what am I supposed to do? I didn't want to go back after Thanksgiving, and you told me if I didn't I'd get sued.”

“That's probably true.” It was too late now anyway. The damage had been done, and he had decisions to make. They both did.

“What are you going to do now with Alice?” Tanya asked him, sounding panicked. “Is this a fling, or something more? You said you didn't know if you were in love with her. What does that mean?” She could hardly get the words out of her mouth, but she wanted to know. She had a right to, if he did.

“It means what I said. I don't know. I love her as a friend, and she's a wonderful woman. We have a great time with the kids, and we see things the same way. There are a lot of things I love about her, but I had never thought about this before. And I love you, too, Tan. I've meant it every time I said it. But I also can't see you living here anymore. You've outgrown your life here. You don't know it yet, but I saw it when I went to L.A. You're one of them now. Alice and I are much more alike. We have more in common now than you and I.” His words were brutally painful and damning, as Tanya stared at him with wide eyes.

“How can you say that?” She looked horrified. “That's so unfair. I'm working on a movie. I'm writing it. I'm not in it, I'm not a star. I'm the same person I was when I left here three months ago. It's so unfair of you to assume that I bought into all that bullshit and am never coming back here or I'd be unhappy if I did. That's not what I want. I want the life we always had. I really do love you, and I have not been fucking around in L.A. I wouldn't do that, nor would I want to,” she said, looking hurt.

“It's hard for me to believe you'd ever want this life again,” he said, looking mournful. It was his excuse for what he'd done.

“So what does that mean? You hire another wife before I even quit the job? What have you been doing, holding auditions, ‑Housewife wanted, screenwriters need not apply’? What's wrong with you? And what's wrong with her? Whatever happened to decency, trust, and honor? She claims to be my best friend. What, does it suddenly make it okay to cheat on me, and betray me, just because I'm working on a movie in L.A.? With your encouragement, I might add.” Her eyes blazed as she looked at him, but beyond the anger was grief. Peter didn't know what to say to her. He knew she was right, but it didn't change anything. They couldn't unring the bell. He was having an affair with Alice.

“What are you doing here, Peter? And what are you going to do now?”

“I don't know.” He looked distraught as he said it. Alice had asked him the same question only that morning. In the blink of an eye, all three of their lives were a mess.

“Are you willing to stop seeing her, and try to put our marriage back together?” She looked at him long and hard, knowing she would never trust him again. And how would he avoid Alice, living right next door? The minute Tanya left for L.A., they'd be together again. She didn't trust either one of them anymore. This had been like a bolt of lightning that had struck her and their marriage. Where did you go from here? She wanted to know what Peter felt, if he even knew himself, which apparently he didn't. He was still too much in shock over what he had done, and the fact that Tanya had guessed it. It was like a tidal wave hitting their life.

“I don't know,” he said again. And then he looked her in the eye. They both looked devastated. “I want our marriage back, Tan. I want to go back to the way things were, before you went to L.A. But I also want to figure out what I feel for Alice. There must be something there or it wouldn't have happened. I was lonely and tired of juggling everything myself, but I don't think that's why it happened. Maybe there was more to it than that. It wasn't just a mistake or a random fuck. I wish I could say it was, but I'm not sure that's the case. I owe it to all three of us to figure that out.”

“And how do you propose to do that? Audition us in turn? Just how much leeway do you want here? You've just destroyed my life, both of you, my family, and everything I believe in. I trusted you … what am I supposed to do now?” she asked, sobbing openly. “What do you want?”

“I need some time to figure it out,” he said hoarsely. They all did. And Alice had told him she was in love with him, and had been since her husband died. She just never thought there was a chance for them, and now she did. He had no idea what to do with that information either. He was drowning in his own confusion and what both women were saying to him.

“Do you want me to quit the film now? I will,” Tanya offered and he shook his head.

“They'll sue our asses off, for your fees and damages. We don't need that headache on top of this. It'll just make a bigger mess. You have to finish the film.” He looked grim.

“While you and Alice go on screwing here all week while I'm in L.A. at work. What do you think your children are going to think of this? You're not going to look like a hero to them.”

“I know. I'm anything but. I get that. I feel like a complete asshole. Look, I fucked up. I slipped. I made a terrible mistake. I cheated on you. It happened. I can't take it back. But I also need to find out if it was a random mistake, or something more than that, that actually makes sense. I spend more time with her than I do with you now, Tan. We have more in common. We do the same things, have the same friends, want the same life. You're out in the stratosphere somewhere, doing something else. You wanted that. Be honest. Maybe all you wanted was the writing, but you got the whole ball of wax. You can't separate the two. The lifestyle comes with the work. You look mighty comfortable to me in that bungalow at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I don't see you running out to rent a studio in some cheap neighborhood, or taking the bus instead of the limo they give you. I think you like all that, and why not? You're earning it. But I can't see you giving that up in six months. My guess is you'll want another film, and another one … you'll never want this life or me again.”