Kristen Ashley - Breathe

“Good,” he muttered, fighting a grin.

“I don’t like beer,” she announced quietly.

“What do you like?”

“Wine.”

“What kind?”

“With pizza?”

“Yeah.”

“Red.”

“Dry or sweet?”

“Dry.”

“You got it, honey.”

The tip of her tongue came out to wet her bottom lip, his lips were so close it grazed his and when she tasted him, her body gave a soft jolt and her tongue disappeared. But it was too late, he felt that score through him and pressed her deeper into the door.

Her fingers curled into his jacket and she went on in a whisper, “I don’t like pineapple on pizza.”

“Works for me because I don’t either.”

“Okay.” She kept whispering, bit her lip, let it go and admitted, “You’re kinda freaking me out.”

“Good.”

She blinked again and her voice was pitched a half octave higher when she asked, “Good?”

“Faye, darlin’, you’re on your game, I’m fucked. I keep you off-balance, I got the upper hand. What I can tell, with you, I’m gonna need the upper hand.”

“I, uh… that sounds… um… are you sure that in a, uh…” she stammered exposing something he already knew, that she had absolutely no clue how to play a man, the game or be in a relationship and that was cute and hot too. She finally finished, “That doesn’t sound good.”

“My job in that is to make it good for you.”

“Oh,” she breathed and he again fought a grin.

Then he asked, “You get that?”

“No,” she admitted softly.

She didn’t, he knew it and that was also cute and hot.

“You will,” he muttered.

“All right,” she muttered back.

“Seven,” he stated.

“Seven,” she agreed, nodding once.

“I gotta go.”

“Okay.”

“Before I go, give me that mouth,” he ordered and watched her eyes get wide.

Cute.

Hot.

“Pardon?”

“Baby,” he whispered. “Before I go, I want your mouth.”

He felt her tremble in his arms. Then he felt her body slide up his as she came up on her toes.

Then she gave him her mouth.

Chace took it and kept doing it until it was close to out-of-control. Only then did he stop, lift his lips, kiss her nose and step back. He pulled her from the door and held her loosely until he knew she was steady on her feet. Then he gave her stunned, soft, pretty, turned on face a smile before he walked away, not looking back.

I waited until the afternoon when my Tuesday volunteer, Mrs. Bagley came in to help out before I went to my office and grabbed my cell phone.

I’d spent all morning trying to decide who to call. I was closest to Lexie and knew her the longest but she’d made it clear she wanted me to try things with Chace so I didn’t think she could be objective. Krystal could maybe be objective but I wasn’t sure about that. She seemed kind of hard, not to mention, even though I knew deep down she was good people, she frequently scared me. I didn’t know the rest of the posse enough to share.

This left Lauren.

But choosing Lauren wasn’t a process of elimination so much as her being the best choice.

I didn’t know what it was but there was just something about her that was special. Something that made you know she’d have your best interests at heart. Listen. Advise thoughtfully. She was more mature, experienced. It wasn’t that Lexie and Krystal weren’t all that but they were more opinionated.

I needed someone to really listen and after they did, advise.

In the end, I was pleased to know I chose well and made note of it for (hopefully) future counseling sessions as things (hopefully) moved forward with Chace.

When I called her, I could hear the bar sounds in the background but when I asked her if she had time to chat, I heard them fade then go clean away after she said yes.

So I told her everything to the minutest detail that happened between Chace and me. And it was fair to say I remembered the minutest detail.

Through this, she listened.

When I was done, I asked quietly, “Well?”

“Was there a question, honey?” she asked quietly back.

“Yes,” I told her. “Should I have pizza with Chace?”

There was humor in her voice when she replied, “I thought that wasn’t exactly a choice.”

“It wasn’t then,” I replied. “When he was pressed up against me after kissing me and being all… I don’t know… intense and growly and manly and saying nice thing after nice thing all, well… intense, growly and manly which made him sound like he really, really meant them. At the same time acting like the alpha male who just beat the rest of the world’s alpha males in hand to hand combat and after had climbed up a mountain of their carcasses and was thumping his chest and grunting, ‘Faye, my woman!’ It’s hard to say no then. Now, when he’s not around, I’m remembering all the times he didn’t say nice things and I’m reconsidering.”

Lauren burst out laughing.

I had to admit it was kinda funny.

At the time, it was also more than kinda hot.

But, because of the last part, I didn’t laugh because that was more than kinda scary.

I did wait for her to finish before I whispered, “Laurie, he kinda freaks me out.”

“Yeah, Faye, honey, I get that,” she whispered back then went on in a gentle voice. “I also get why. I’ll tell you this, a girl is any kind of girl to you, she’ll have your back. She’ll listen and she’ll give advice and she’ll do her best to do well at both. But what you have to get is that the only advice she can give is from experiencing her own dramas or listening to her other girlfriends’ dramas and watching them play out. In the end though, your girl and her friends are not you and the men in their lives are not Chace. So you have to learn something difficult. How to pay attention, think, read signs at the same time listen to your heart. Sometimes, these can be contradictory and that’s where your girls can help. But, in the end, you have to pay attention to all of that, make your decision, do whatever you have to do and if your girl’s any kind of girl, she’ll have your back then too. No matter what happens.”

“Okay,” I said softly, thinking that was nice and all but not entirely certain that it helped a whole lot.

Luckily, Lauren wasn’t done.

“That said, I’ll tell you about Tate and me. The part that coincides with what might be happening with Chace is that a long time ago, Tate’s life was derailed. Totally. It was unexpected and he didn’t handle it well. Not because he isn’t smart, strong or a good man, just because life can sock you in the gut, wind you and before you get your breath back, it can turn to shit and then two decades later, you find you’re still stuck in it. He got stuck. He pulled it partly together but he didn’t pull it totally together until he found me.”

I drew in breath and Lauren must have heard it because she went on quickly.

“This is not to say I believe only a woman can heal a man or at this early stage with things with Chace you need to take on the burden of healing his wounds. The man, or woman, has got to want a better life for themselves. They have to want to get past their issues. They also have to be willing to share that load. If they don’t, a woman can work and slave and she’ll never get anywhere. But if they want that better life and are willing to work at it, finding someone who genuinely cares, who wants to help, who is honest and thoughtful and generous and, Faye, the hardest but sometimes the most important of all, forgiving, can do wonders to assist along this journey. What I will say is that along the way that care, honesty, generosity and forgiveness can grow into love and love, honey, real, nourishing love, I truly believe, can heal anything. Because if you love someone, you’ll want a good life for them and for yourself and you’ll do anything to make that happen. That’s what Tate and I found. It wasn’t easy, we both had our issues, but we finally recognized it and I know he’d fight and die to keep it and I’d do the same.”

Wow. That was so awesome for her.

“I love that you have that, Laurie,” I whispered.

“I love it too, Faye,” she whispered back. “But I’m not done.”

“Okay,” I replied, pleased because all that was good too and I was glad she had that with Tate. I felt it kinda had something to do with Chace but I still was unsure.

I heard her take a breath then she said, “What happened to Tate was an accident. A fluke. What happened to Ty was not. He was purposefully targeted, had his power stripped and some men, that isn’t good. Some men, they don’t bounce back. Lexie has told me a bit, Tate is tight with Ty and he’s told me a bit too. I don’t know all that went down with that so I don’t know if what I’m guessing happened is what happened. But Lexie and Ty had some issues and this had to do with Ty struggling with having his power taken away. He’s a man and men think they have to do what they have to do even if it’s not the right thing to do. Some men lose sight of the fact that their women are there to support and protect them too. Ty lost sight of that and he nearly lost Lexie. I think what happened with Chace is more like what happened to Ty.”

I felt goose bumps rise on my skin and I asked, “How?”

She didn’t hesitate to answer.

“It isn’t a secret that he didn’t marry Misty for love. I don’t know what happened with that either. I just know it seems he was forced to do something he did not want to do. I don’t know Chace Keaton except in passing. But I live with a man like him and am surrounded by them. That could not have gone down very well. He had his power stripped too.”