So unless Kate printed out a copy of her e-mail from Amy and took it home—which is exceedingly doubtful, knowing Kate, who likes to keep her work and home life separate—I’m sorry to say it’s gone, never to be seen again.

Nice try, though, Romeo.

J


To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>

Fr: Mitchell Hertzog <mitchell.hertzog@hwd.com>

Re: Kate

I’m not giving up that easily. Give me the name and number of your IT guy, will you, Jen? Thanks.

Mitch


To: Mitchell Hertzog <mitchell.hertzog@hwd.com>

Fr: Tim Grabowski <timothy.grabowski@thenyjournal.com>

Re: Kate

Got your message. Just tried calling but I got your voicemail.

Anyway, in answer to your question, the only way I could read Amy Jenkins’s e-mail is through her computer. All of our e-mail is sent through a POP server. The mail program automatically downloads mail from the server to the sender’s hard disk, then it erases them from the server, so the only way to get to the sent e-mail is to go onto the hard drive of the computer from which it was sent.

Which, unless you’ve got a key to Amy’s office, is going to be next to impossible.

Wish I could be more help. Kate’s a cute kid, and we’re all just crushed over what’s happened. If you talk to her, tell her that the nextFarscape marathon is at Raj’s. She’ll know what I mean.

Tim


To: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>

Fr: Tim Grabowski <timothy.grabowski@thenyjournal.com>

Re: You

Hey, what’s up with you and Dylan McDermott? You two an item yet, or what? I hope so. That guy is seriously easy on the eyes. But what’s with the Superfriends ties? Hermès is so much classier.

Still, he seems to really like you. At least he really wants to help you get your job back, which is the same thing, practically. Got a message from him.

Invite me to the wedding?

Miss ya.

Tim


To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>

Fr: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>

Re: Mitch

What is going on with Mitch and IT? Tim just said Mitch had been in touch with him. Come on. Spill. You know you can’t keep a secret.

Kate

P.S. On my way to get a paper, I nearly got hit by a cab, and I didn’t even care. Seriously. It was like, Oh, look, this cab is about to hit me. But I wasn’t scared or anything. Because what would it matter if I died? Without my job, I have nothing to contribute to society anyway. I MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD.

I was saved from the brink of death at the last minute by a Chinese food delivery man who pulled me back onto the curb. But still.


To: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>

Fr: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>

Re: Mitch

That taxicab story is horrifying, but it is not going to induce me to tell you what Mitch wanted.

He made me promise not to tell.

But I swear to you, Kate, this guy’s only got what’s best for you in mind. He’s the real deal.

You might want to rethink the suicide-by-cab thing. Just FYI.

J



To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>

Fr: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>

Re: He’s the real deal

Sure, that’s what they all say. Excuse me if I take this opportunity to barf some more. Oh, hold on, the doorman is buzzing. Flowers being delivered from Skiboy for Dolly, no doubt.

Hey, do you have to tip flower delivery guys?

Kate


To: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>

Fr: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>

Re: Flower Delivery

Yes, you have to tip them. Two or three bucks, at least. Hasn’t anyone ever sent you flowers before?

And how do you know they’re from Skiboy? Maybe they’re from the great Peter Hargrave himself. Call me and describe them, as Craig hasn’t sent me flowers since we got married, and I’ve forgotten what they look like.


East Side Floral Company

“Say it with Flowers”

1125 York Avenue • New York New York, 10028.

To: Kate Mackenzie care of Dolly Vargas. 610 East End Avenue, Penthouse A.


Forgive me?


Mitch

J


To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>

Fr: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>

Re: Flower Delivery

Roses. Two dozen of them. Pink ones.

From Mitch.

Like I’m just supposed to forget he got me fired.

Still. It’s sweet of him. Considering I barfed on his shoes and all.

Kate


To: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>

Fr: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>

Re: Flower Delivery

So are you going to have dinner with him, or not?

J


To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>

Fr: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>

Re: Dinner

Like a few flowers are going to make everything okay? I am so not having dinner with him.

Please.

No way.

Kate


To: Mitchell Hertzog <mitchell.hertzog@hwd.com>

Fr: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>

Re: Hi

Hi, Mitch. I tried calling your office just now, but your assistant says you’re out. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.

Thanks also for helping me last night . . . that is, Jen told me you helped. I don’t actually remember it very well, except the part where I heaved on your shoes. Sorry about that. Every time you come near me you seem to get sprayed with something, don’t you? Like I’m Mount St. Helens or something.

Anyway, if the offer for dinner still stands, I’ll take you up on it.

Kate


To: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>

Fr: Mitchell Hertzog <mitchell.hertzog@hwd.com>

Re: Hi

Of course the offer for dinner still stands. Seven okay? Glad you liked the flowers. Don’t worry about the shoes. I didn’t like them much anyway.

Mitch


To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>

Fr: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>

Re: Me

I’m going.

WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?????

Kate


To: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>

Fr: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>

Re: You

I so knew it.

Wear a skirt.

And remember, though he may be a cute wheelchair-basketball-playing lawyer with barf on his shoes, you still don’t know where he’s been. Don’t forget to use a condom, Miss “I’ve Only Been with One Other Man My Whole Life.”

J


To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>

Fr: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>

Re: Me

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

Kate

Journal of Kate Mackenzie

What am I doing? I mean, why am I obsessing over what to wear tonight to Mitch’s? I shouldn’t even be GOING to Mitch’s. I have no job, no place to live, I’m on the rebound, relationship-wise. This guy has been nothing but trouble, and besides which, the two of us have nothing in common, except a mutual appreciation for Mrs. Lopez’s brownies and the Travel Channel. I mean, he’s a LAWYER.

Should I wear control-top panties, or not? You know they leave those lines . . . but if I don’t wear them, my belly pooches out.

Oh my God, I can’t even believe I’m obsessing over this.

Do I have time to whip up one of Mrs. Lopez’s recipes? No . . . I can’t make a bundt cake AND blow out my hair. . . . DAMN!!!!!!!!!

D’Agostino Supermarkets #6

1507 York Avenue

New York, NY 10021

 

Reg 2        Time: 18:02

Cashier 411

Name: Dolores

  1 lb. tiger prawn $17.99 2 artichokes $02.99 4 lemons $02.00 1 Irish butter $05.99 1 Fettucine $03.99 1 French bread $01.99 1 El Rey Cho Bar $02.52 1 pd coffee $06.99 1 garlic $00.59 4 pears $02.00 Subtotal $47.05 Tax $03.88 Total $50.93

 

Charge

 

Mitchell Hertzog

xxxx-xxx-xxxx-xxxx

 

Thank you for shopping at D’Agostino


Welcome to CVS

 

Reg 1        Time: 18:22

  1 pk Lady Bic Disp Razors $2.99 1 L’eggs Con. Top $1.49 1 pk Trojan Ribbed $7.99 1 Almay Pressed Powder $7.99 Subtotal $19.49 Tax $1.61 Total $20.09

 

Charge

 

Kathleen Mackenzie

xxxx-xxx-xxxx-xxxx

 

Thank you for shopping

at CVS



To: Stacy Trent <IH8BARNEY@freemail.com>

Fr: Margaret Hertzog <margaret.hertzog@hwd.com>

Re: Your brother

Stacy, I tried to phone, but no one picked up. Either you are all out, or your au pair is on the phone with her Swedish boyfriend again, and not picking up. I really suggest you get her a separate line. And I do hope you are deducting the cost of these calls she’s constantly making to this boy from her weekly paycheck.

Anyway, I just received an extremely distressing phone call from your brother Stuart. He says you are being most uncooperative regarding the wedding plans. I understand that the week of June 21 is the only time in the foreseeable future the two of them can both be away from their jobs, and that—although Jason promised them use of your yard for an outdoor ceremony on Midsummer’s Day—there seems to be some problem with—and I am finding this hard to believe, but Stuart swears he heard it directly from you—your coven?