‘Come on.’ She coughed out the words. The smoke was getting thicker, heavier, and time was limited if she wanted to survive.

Maggie didn’t speak but her hand clung desperately to Kate’s. Following the sound of voices, Kate headed towards the open air dragging Maggie, stumbling behind her. She could breathe. She fell to the ground feeling hands on her, lifting her. She knew, by the scent of him, through the smell of smoke, she was in her husband’s arms, her true but unwedded husband, her wonderful Eddie.

She touched his face. ‘Is it really you, Eddie, you’ve come home again! You’re alive and I’m not dreaming?’

‘It’s me, my darling, it’s me, I’ve come back to you. Don’t worry about me, worry about yourself. You have to go to the hospital, just to be checked, Maggie is going too but mum and the baby are all right.’

Kate seemed to fade then into a mist of a world, a mist inside her head. All she was conscious of was Eddie holding her close, still loving her, he was safe and well and home with her again. It was a miracle and she would bless the Virgin Mother for it every night of her life.

When she opened her eyes again, she was in her own bed. She could hear sounds from downstairs, muted voices, Hilda putting the kettle on the gas, talking baby talk to little Teddy.

Eddie; had she been dreaming she was in his arms, was it lack of air in her lungs causing her to have weird dreams? ‘Please, Virgin Mother, let it be true,’ she breathed.

She stirred and tried to get up but her knees hurt. She felt her legs and they were covered in bandages. Further down, her ankle was swollen and had a sort of stocking on it holding it tight. She must have been unconscious all the time she was at the hospital.

Her hands seemed all right but when she touched her hair it was frizzled and burnt and smelled heavily of smoke and burning wood. She tried to get out of bed though every part of her body ached and once her feet touched the floor, she heard steps on the stairs, the heavy tread of a man.

When he came into the room Kate knew it was true, she knew his scent so well; her dear, darling Eddie was alive, home, safe with her. He took her in his arms and held her gently.

‘How?’ she asked, her hands exploring his face. There was stubble on his chin, he hadn’t shaved in days, but what did it matter? He was in her arms, he wasn’t a dream, a figment of her imagination, he was real flesh and blood.

‘I was missing for a while then I was taken prisoner. Then, one day on a forced march, I took my chance and escaped. Look, none of that matters now, I’m safe, I’m home and I love you my darling little Kate, my beautiful girl.’

She found his lips and kissed him and then, gently, he lay beside her and held her in his arms. ‘I love you so much, Kate,’ he whispered in her ear. Kate wondered for the first time why people whispered when it was love talk: was it for intimacy, privacy, or a desire to hide feelings from the rest of the world?

Later, he helped her downstairs. Hilda silently made tea. She had baked cakes, dry, because there was not enough marge to make the cake light and there was very little fruit, but it was a gesture, a gesture of hope and welcome for the son she thought she’d lost.

Kate was in a dream, she was back in the days when she and Eddie danced without a care in the summer fields, hugged and kissed and made love with the joy of youth.

Hilda coughed. ‘The smoke,’ she explained, ‘it’s still in my chest. You were a brave girl, Kate, to go into the ruins and fetch poor old Maggie out.’

Reality began to trickle into Kate’s euphoria. ‘How is Maggie?’

‘In hospital, but she’ll live,’ Hilda said briskly.

‘Eddie, are you home for good?’ Hilda said, her voice hard-edged. ‘If so there are things we have to talk about.’

Reality came closer and Kate tried to push it away even as she listened to Eddie’s answer.

‘I don’t suppose I’ll go back now,’ he said. ‘As of now, I’m unfit for duty.’

‘Thank God for that,’ Hilda said. ‘So you’ll be back here living with us?’

‘Of course, mother,’ Eddie said, ‘where else would I live but with my family?’ He was puzzled by his mother’s attitude and Kate knew she must speak—explain—but the words stuck in her throat.

‘Kate?’ Hilda prompted. ‘Tell him, tell Eddie the truth.’

But she didn’t have to. The door opened and she heard Stephen’s voice, loud and cheerful. ‘I’m home! How’s my wife and my unborn son then?’

The silence was long and hard and edged with fear and Kate felt her happiness dwindling into a tiny sphere that at any moment would just fade away and disappear into nothingness.

Thirty-Five

‘I want you to go to Bletchley Park.’ The Colonel was stooping more noticeably, now he leaned more heavily on his stick. Hari watched as he eased himself into a chair.

‘Sir?’

‘The place where the clever people break codes.’

‘I know what Bletchley is for, sir, I just don’t really want to go away just now, and sir, what use would I be even if I went to Bletchley Park?’

‘I want you to have some training there, specialist stuff.’ He took out a huge hankie and blew his nose severely. He seemed to be short of breath for a moment and then he spoke again. ‘You must put personal issues aside, young lady, and do your duty.’

Hari felt exasperated. ‘I thought I was doing my duty, Colonel Edwards. I am working at a munitions factory and one of my best friends was blinded in an accident here. We are all in danger every day, isn’t that duty enough?’

‘Well, in Bletchley you aren’t likely to get blown up by a shell are you?’ His eyebrows hid his eyes.

‘My personal safety is not an issue, sir, I’m just not clever about codes and ciphers and things.’

‘I’m not arguing. You have to go, at least for a few weeks or so.’

She faced him, her hands firmly on the desk. ‘Have I displeased you?’

‘You are an unmarried lady.’ He was suddenly irate. ‘We work together a great deal, alone in an office. Do you see what I’m getting at?’

Hari did. She was amazed. ‘People are talking about us?’

‘’Fraid so.’

‘But, sir.’ Hari stopped. What she had been about to say was insulting.

He said it for her. ‘I know I’m old enough to be your grandfather. Still, there it is.’ He ran his hand round his collar; his neck was red.

‘Look, Hari, It will do you good to have a break from this stuffy office, to see the innovative, creative work those brain boxes at Bletchley do. If I was twenty years younger things would be different, very different.’

Hari didn’t know if he was referring to the talk about them or working at Bletchley Park.

‘All right, sir.’ Her voice was meek. She thought of Michael and Meryl and her heart sank; they just wouldn’t know where to contact her even if they could. They might not be alive and, if they were, God knows what dangers they were facing. And there was Father. When she got home she would write to tell him she would be away for a while.

That night she went to see Kate to say her goodbyes.

Kate was alone in the house. She lifted her head when Hari walked into the kitchen and held out her arms. ‘Hari, please help me.’

Kate’s instincts amazed Hari. ‘How the hell did you know it was me?’

‘I know your scent, the sound of your footsteps, oh, it’s lots of things. Pour us a drink there’s a darlin’, I’m flummoxed so I am.’ Her voice wavered. ‘I think the Virgin Mother herself must have sent you to me.’

They sat and drank brandy and soda. Stephen, it seemed, was rich enough to get drink on the black market. Hari sipped the fiery liquid and waited for Kate to unburden herself.

The house was silent, not even the radio played out: no dance music; no news of war; nothing. ‘What on earth are you doing sitting here alone like this?’

‘Oh Hari!’ Kate began to cry, hot, bitter tears. She put her hands over her face as though she was ashamed. Hari went to her and held her while Kate sobbed like a distressed child.

‘Is the baby sick? Hilda—is she all right?’

Kate’s words tumbled out like a river in full flood. ‘Eddie’s alive and well—he came home and sat with me and kissed me and I thought I was in heaven. And then Stephen came in and said about the baby I’m carrying. Eddie was so hurt that I was with Stephen and didn’t wait for him. I tried to explain that this time when he was missing I thought he must have been killed. Anyway, he took little Teddy and walked out. Hilda went after him and I haven’t seen any of them since yesterday.’ She cried again, her voice rising, she was on the verge of hysteria.

‘And Stephen?’

‘Stephen packed his things and left me, they’ve all left me. Oh God, Hari, what am I going to do?’

Hari rocked her as though she were a baby—how could she tell Kate that soon, she too would be leaving for Bletchley Park in England? ‘I’ll get us another drink,’ she said, but Kate clung to her.

‘Stay here, hold me Hari, tell me everything is going to be all right. I can’t bear all this unhappiness. Haven’t I put up with enough with my blindness?’

It was the first time Hari had ever heard Kate complain about the accident. They sat together, clinging to each other until, with a sense of relief, Hari heard the latch of the door being lifted.

Kate lifted her head. ‘Hilda!’ she breathed, ‘what’s going on, tell me or for sure I’ll go mad.’

‘Here.’ Hilda put Teddy in Kate’s arms. ‘You’ve got your child and you’ve got me for as long as I last in this life. As for the menfolk, your guess is as good as mine.’

Hilda’s solution to any crisis was to put the kettle on the gas stove. As she put out clean cups, her face was red from weeping and Hari felt a pang of pity for the woman who was worn and worried and heavy with the knowledge she had no power to make things right.