“How did you sleep, dear?” Mable asks, whipping the yolks with a fervor I do not share. The kitchen and I are not friends; we are simply allies in a time of war. The only position Ellen had available this summer was “prep cook,” and as much as I hate cooking, I hate being broke more.

But I don’t suck at cooking. Years of making food for myself and my mother, a woman who thought feeding me was a grueling chore, taught me how to put a meal together without disastrous results. At least now I’m getting paid to slave away in a kitchen.

“Aside from the blasting noise of Levi’s TV?” I say. “Fine.”

She eyes my half-wet ponytail. “Cold shower this morning?”

Everyone who works at the inn knows how Levi and I fight. Not just because sometimes we slam doors and yell but because everyone who works at the inn knows about us.

For the first few days after I moved in, this really bothered me. Because I knew the real reason the employees whispered, and the real reason made my chest hurt. But I don’t give a damn anymore. If Levi and I provide some sort of tragic entertainment for them, so be it.

I look down at the list of menu items for the morning. “Yes. The spawn of Satan strikes again.”

Mable laughs like she always does when I talk about Levi, her round cheeks glowing. Even though she’s like sixty, I’m pretty sure she has a cougar crush on him. And if I didn’t love Mable so much, it would totally gross me out.

“That Levi is something else,” she coos.

“Something selfish, maybe.”

She pours the yolks into a pan. “Something delicious.”

Gross.

But true.

“What’s delicious?” Haley, the curvy thirty-five-year-old who runs the front desk, enters the kitchen through the back door and peers into a bowl of chocolate chips before popping a few in her mouth. Haley gossips almost as much as Mable. She also has a minor addiction to chocolate.

I watch her shovel more of the chips into her mouth.

Okay, major.

“Levi,” Mable answers, wagging her eyebrows.

“Mmm. He is scrumptious.” Haley tucks her shoulder-length black hair behind her ear and gives me a dirty smile. “I’d lick him from head to toe and back to head again.”

Good God. It’s like I work at Hotel Horny Women.

“Levi is not scrumptious,” I say, trying to think about omelet ingredients instead of how Levi’s stomach muscles rippled when he leaned into the hallway this morning. “He’s annoying.”

“He doesn’t annoy me. Does he annoy you, Mable?” Haley says.

“Not one bit.” Mable smiles.

Haley reaches for more chocolate chips and I smack her hand away. “That’s because you two didn’t grow up with him and practically live at his house your entire childhood.”

An uncomfortable silence falls over the room.

“No,” Mable says after a few moments, her voice carefully quiet. “We didn’t.”

Haley clears her throat and forces a smile at Mable. “Got any of last night’s cake left?”

Leave it to Haley to break up the tension with dessert.

I busy myself getting things ready for breakfast as Mable and Haley start gossiping about the guests.

Most guests who visit Willow Inn are retired folks who come to the country for fresh air and a quiet retreat. And some of them stay for weeks or months at a time, and make it an annual occasion.

So several of the guests staying here this summer have visited before and, since Willow Inn is a small establishment with semiregular clientele, they sometimes get to know one another, and things around here can get rather friendly.

Mable’s voice is dripping with drama. “… and then Marsha Greenberg told Betsy Peterson that she was no longer welcome at their bridge table because of the incident with Mr. Clemons.” She looks up from the cutting board, scandal on her face, onions in her hands. “Can you believe that? Especially after what happened with Vivian Whethers last month…” She jabbers on, Haley bobbing her head emphatically as she forks chocolate cake into her mouth.

You’d think senior citizens relaxing at a quaint inn in the middle-of-nowhere Arizona would be low-key and rather boring, but they’re just as bad as college kids. They flirt and drink and sleep with one another, and it’s just nasty. Entertaining. But nasty.

Haley gasps at Mable’s ongoing story, which I’ve failed to follow because I’m busy over here actually working.

“No, she did not.” Her mouth drops open in disbelief.

“Oh, honey, you know she did,” Mable says, and makes a disapproving mm-huh noise. “I told you that woman was trouble.”

Haley shakes her head and takes another bite. “Trouble, indeed.”

Wow. Remind me never to vacation at an inn when I’m older, for fear my daily activities might become the talk of the kitchen staff.

The old-fashioned phone by the door rings with a merry ding-a-ling-a-ling, and I can’t help but glance at the thing. It’s red and giant and hideous and it ding-a-lings loud enough to wake the dead. Ellen thinks the spinning dial and long coiled cord add charm to the inn. I think Ellen’s full of shit and just hasn’t gotten around to replacing the prehistoric device yet.

On the second ring, Mable wipes her hands on her apron—which is an appropriate shade of light blue and features no fruit or fringe—and answers the antique phone with a chipper “Good morning!”

She listens for a moment before promptly disappearing through the swinging door that leads to the dining room, speaking in hushed tones. Ever the gossip, Haley strains to hear what Mable’s saying through the door but gives up and turns to me.

“So.” She finishes the last bite of chocolate cake. “I hear you and Levi get to have weekends off this summer. Lucky ducks.”

Hardly.

I’m pretty sure the synchronized time off is part of Ellen’s diabolical plan to get Levi and me to spend some quality time together. Joke’s on her though, since I plan on ditching this place every weekend. No need to hang around Levi and our pet elephant more than necessary.

“Lucky, indeed,” I say dryly.

She rounds up all the chocolate crumbs on her plate and starts smashing them with her fork until they stick. “Got any big plans this weekend?”

“Not really. Just hanging out with Jenna and Matt.”

She licks the fork. “Who’s Matt?”

I pull some bell peppers from the fridge. “My, uh, boyfriend.”

I have this weird habit of saying “uh” before the word “boyfriend.” I can’t help it. It’s like saying “Jiminy” before “Cricket” or “more” before “cowbell.” It just falls out of my mouth.

“Oh right, the boyfriend. I almost forgot about him,” Haley says. “Are you sure he’s real? You don’t ever talk about him and I’ve never seen you guys together.”

“He’s real.” I rinse off a knife and start cutting vegetables. “It’s just hard with him living down by ASU and me all the way out here.”

Arizona State University is a hundred miles south of my hometown, and somewhere right in between the two, on a desolate stretch of freeway, stands Willow Inn. So yeah. Middle. Of. Nowhere.

She licks the fork again even though it’s squeaky clean. “Does Levi know about this real boyfriend of yours?”

I slant my eyes at her. “I can’t imagine how he wouldn’t, what with the gossip grapevine around here in full bloom. And I don’t know why he’d care, anyway. He’s like a brother to me.” My heart cringes at the word and I try not to overthink why.

“A brother.” She slowly nods. “Right… right—shoot!” She looks at the clock and drops her shiny fork. “I’ve got to get to the front desk. See ya.” She hurries from the kitchen just as Mable swings back in from the dining room.

I watch Mable hang up the phone without making eye contact with me, and my gut tightens. She moves to the counter and begins putting together a breakfast quiche. I continue chopping vegetables. Minutes pass.

With a slow inhale, Mable calmly says, “That was your mama on the phone.”

I slice a bell pepper in half. “My mama can go to hell.”

My statement makes the room feel thick, so I look up and try to lighten the mood. “Hey, and maybe while she’s there she can ask the devil if he wants Levi back.” I smile brightly, but the thickness lingers.

There’s a reason I chose not to go back home after school ended, and that reason gave birth to me nineteen years ago and has regretted it every day since.

Mable finishes layering the quiche and slides the dish over to me to finish. “She says she’s coming to see you in a few weeks. She wants to have dinner with you.”

I grab some cheese from the fridge and mutter, “Well, that should be fun.”

She gives me a tight smile because she knows how not-fun Sandra Marshall can be. One of the side effects of being from the same tiny town.

The door to the dining room swings open again and this time Levi walks through, a box of tools in his hand.

Cougar Mable immediately lights up. “Morning, Levi!”

“Morning, Mable.” He smiles at her. He scowls at me.

I notice his face is now clean-shaven and a part of me misses his scruff—what? No. NO. I do not miss his scruff. Missing scruff is for weirdos.