Still, I’d never thought I needed anything like this until I moved to Edinburgh and was enfolded into the lives of these warm, down-to-earth people. They’d done the same for Joss, and Joss had done the same for me, even going so far as to make me a bridesmaid in her wedding.

I decided then as Nathan, Andy, and Jim split the bill that when I got back from Longniddry I was going to pay Joss a visit. She’d been there for me. I needed to be there for her too.

Overall, the meal had left me feeling strangely melancholy, so I was relieved that the guys were in such high spirits. They’d had a few pints with dinner, and after saying good night to their families, they’d walked us back to the house, where they immediately pulled beers out of the fridge.

Two hours later they were still enjoying their freedom from the usual responsibilities and were a little drunk. After Peetie proclaimed that there was no way either Cam or Nate could take him down using a judo move, the two of them had looked up at their massive rugby-playing friend and taken on the challenge. I should have stopped them. Someone was going to get hurt, but since Jo and Lyn were sitting laughing in the corner and not doing anything about their men, I decided I wasn’t going to intervene on Nate’s behalf either.

I wandered into the kitchen and found Cole putting out some snacks.

‘Hey.’ I nudged him as I sidled up next to him. ‘Have they made you one of the catering staff now?’

Cole smirked. ‘I thought I better get out of Dodge.’

‘Smart kid.’ I picked up some peanuts. ‘I’m surprised you haven’t asked one of us to sneak you a beer yet.’

As soon as I said it, his face got all pinched and I cursed myself for being such an idiot.

‘I’m not really that interested in the stuff, to be honest.’

Of course he wasn’t. He had an alcoholic parent.

Way to go, Olivia.

‘Sorr –’

‘While Cam is pounding Peetie’s face into the rug I would like some food.’ Nate wandered in, his eyes a little brighter from the beer, his cheeks flushed. His eyes dropped from me to the snacks, and he skirted the table, pressing against my side as he reached for a bowl of chips. With his other hand he caressed my bottom.

I tensed, my eyes darting to Cole, whose own gaze was fixed on my ass. He glanced up at me, caught my look, and immediately scowled.

Shit.

Nate grinned at us both, completely unaware that he’d been caught. He sauntered out of the kitchen without a care in the world, leaving me and Cole in a staring match.

I suddenly felt like the teenager in the situation.

Exhausted, I lowered my gaze and sighed heavily. ‘I’m going to bed.’

Lying in bed that night I stared at the ceiling, listening to the laughter filtering up from downstairs. The noise, plus my stressing, was a kind of hindrance, and it took me a long time to fall asleep. Eventually, I assured myself that Cole wouldn’t tell anyone what he saw. The caress wasn’t evidence of anything but Nate’s inability to not flirt with an available woman.

Right?

19

The sun was shining brightly the next day, a lure for Cam, Jo, and Cole, who had decided to meet up with Cam’s parents and their dog for a picnic on the beach. That sounded like heaven to me. However, while Peetie and Lyn were spending the day with Peetie’s aunt and uncle, Nate wanted me to spend the day with him, Nathan, and Sylvie.

It was a tough choice. Spend the day frolicking on a beach or learn more about Nate.

Okay, so it wasn’t really a tough choice, but for the sake of pride I’m going to pretend I mused over it for more than ten seconds.

I also really wanted to get away from Cole’s eagle eyes. The whole morning, while we all ate breakfast together, he watched me and Nate closely for, I imagine, any signs that we were up to no good.

It was to my relief that I soon found myself out on the back deck of Nate’s parents’ home. The day started well. Nate complimented me on my body-skimming maxi dress, something I would never have felt comfortable wearing before our lessons, and when we were stopped at traffic lights he kissed me softly for the first time in what felt like forever. In actuality it had been only a few days since our last mouth-to-mouth. We’d taken the car, since Nate’s parents lived on the other side of the village, and Sylvie and Nathan had come out to greet us as we pulled up to their beautiful cottage. Nate had certainly grown up in a lovely place.

Sipping lemonade, I laughed as Nate and his father teased each other. I shared smiles with Sylvie and felt very at home there.

‘I saw a picture of you with a dog,’ I said to Nate, smiling quizzically. I’d passed the photo of him as a child with a Lab puppy as we walked through their entrance hall. ‘You didn’t tell me you had a dog.’

Nathan immediately snorted as Nate groaned.

I grinned. ‘What am I missing?’

‘The dog’ – Nathan laughed and then composed himself so he could continue – ‘was called Duke and we only had him for about fourteen months, until my son decided that Duke had more value in trade than as a family pet.’

‘Oh, God.’ Nate groaned again and shot me a dirty look. ‘You had to ask about the dog.’

Sylvie was almost crying with tears of laughter.

My intrigue grew. I giggled. ‘What did you do?’

‘Do?’ Nathan leaned back, shaking his head at his son. ‘Well, he’d been bugging his mum and me for a surfboard for months, and we kept saying no because we both weren’t comfortable with him being out in the water without someone experienced with him. So when he went with Cam and his parents to the beach, we let him take Duke. He was out of Lena and Andy’s sight for a few minutes and he decided to make things happen for himself.’

Nate’s expression was pained.

‘He came across some surfers and started chatting to them. Eventually he asked them if they’d consider trading one of their boards.’

My eyes widened in horror. ‘Nate, you didn’t.’

He grimaced. ‘I was eleven years old.’

‘Aye, meaning you knew exactly what you were doing.’ Sylvie wiped her eyes.

‘As you’ve surmised,’ Nathan continued, ‘the guy said he’d trade his surfboard for Duke.’

‘You gave them Duke? Did you get him back?’

‘Nope.’ Nathan shook his head. ‘Once Andy realized what had happened, he went back to find them but they were gone. I went looking every weekend for a while, but I never found the group of surfers again.’

I tutted. ‘That’s cold, Nate.’

‘Hey –’ He pointed his finger at me. ‘I’m not a complete shit. I realized later that night that it was a stupid bloody idea and I felt awful.’

‘Felt awful?’ Nathan harrumphed. ‘You cried your eyes out.’

I pinched my lips together to keep from laughing.

Nate scowled. ‘Manly tears. Manly tears of regret.’

‘I take it getting another dog was out of the question?’ I teased.

Sylvie chuckled. ‘We were afraid what he’d trade it in for.’

Slapping his hands on his knees, Nate ignored our laughing and stood up. ‘Right, if you’re done torturing me, I’m going to show Liv the prison you guys kept me in for eighteen years.’ He tugged on my hand, pulling me out of my seat and I grinned conspiratorially at his parents as I let him lead me back into the house.

The prison was in fact his bedroom. And it wasn’t a prison. It was just a typical teenager’s room. Posters of indie bands on the wall, books and comics still scattered here and there. My eyes looked past the dark blue walls and dark blue comforter on the queen bed and shot straight to the photographs. It was clear that from an early age Nate liked to take photos. There were some beautiful shots of Longniddry and the beach, but mostly shots of his parents and lots of his friends. I grinned, seeing younger versions of him, Cam, and Peetie fooling around … at the beach mostly.

As I moved from one picture to the next, a girl started to appear in most of them and my heart pounded as Nate leaned quietly against the doorway and let me look my fill. Finally my eyes dropped to the one photograph that he’d actually framed. It sat on his bedside table. I sat down on the bed and reached for it, a crack of pain lancing through my chest.

It was the same girl.

She was sitting on a low brick wall, and her long strawberry blond hair blew out behind her as she squinted against the sun, smiling into the camera. She was small, pale and slender with fine, delicate features and a beautiful smile. Wearing a white summer dress, she looked like the angel Nate had described.

Somehow I found my voice. ‘Alana?’

When Nate didn’t answer, I glanced up from the picture in my hands and he nodded, taking a step inside the room. ‘Alana.’

I put the photograph back where I’d found it and whispered sincerely, ‘She was beautiful, Nate.’

‘I took that picture just a few weeks before we found out about the lymphoma.’

Struggling to find something to say, I asked, my voice quiet, ‘Does her family still live here?’

‘Yes.’ He walked toward me. Sitting down beside me, he stared at the wall opposite us, where lots of pictures of her were pinned. My own gaze fell on one that someone else had taken. A gangly-limbed teen version of Nate, boyish but no less handsome, was standing behind the young Alana, his arms wrapped around her waist. She leaned back against him, her hands clutching at his arms, holding them to her. They both were smiling. Seeming so happy. So innocent.

They had no idea what was coming for them.

Choking back tears, I hurriedly glanced away from the picture, unable to rid myself of the burn in my chest.