Jamie McGuire - Beautiful Disaster

“Oh my God, Abby,” he breathed. He rocked into me again, another hum emanating from his throat. “Holy shit, you feel amazing.”

“Is it different?”

He looked into my eyes. “It’s different with you, anyway, but,” he took in a deep breath and tensed again, closing his eyes for a moment, “I’m never going to be the same after this.”

His lips searched every inch of my neck, and when he found his way to my mouth, I sunk my fingertips into the muscles of his shoulders, losing myself in the intensity of the kiss.

Travis brought my hands above my head and intertwined his fingers with mine, squeezing my hands with each thrust. His movements became a bit rougher, and I dug my nails into his hands, my insides tensing with incredible force.

I cried out, biting my lip and clenching my eyes shut.

“Abby,” he whispered, sounding conflicted, “I need a…I need to…,”

“Don’t stop,” I begged.

He rocked into me again, groaning so loudly that I covered his mouth. After a few labored breaths, he looked into my eyes, and then kissed me over and over. His hands cupped each side of my face and then he kissed me again, slower, more tender. He touched his lips to mine, and then my cheeks, my forehead, my nose, and then finally returned to my lips.

I smiled and sighed, exhaustion setting in. Travis pulled me next to him, situating the covers over us. I rested my cheek against his chest, and he kissed my forehead once more, locking his fingers together behind me.

“Don’t leave this time, okay? I wanna wake up just like this in the morning.”

I kissed his chest, feeling guilty that he had to ask. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I awoke on my stomach, naked and tangled in Travis Maddox’s sheets. I kept my eyes closed, feeling his fingers caressing my arm and back.

He exhaled with a deep, contented sigh, speaking in a hushed voice. “I love you, Abby. I’m going to make you happy, I swear it.”

The bed concaved as he shifted, and then his lips were on my back in slow, small kisses. I remained still, and just as he had made his way up to the skin just below my ear, he left me to walk across the room. His footsteps leisurely plodded down the hall, and the pipes whined with the water pressure of the shower.

I opened my eyes and sat up, stretching. Every muscle in my body ached, muscles that I never knew I had. I held the sheet to my chest, looking out the window, watching the yellow and red leaves spiral from their branches to the ground.

His cell phone vibrated somewhere on the floor, and after clumsily searching the crumpled clothes on the floor, I found it in his jeans pocket. The display was lit with only a number, no name.

“Hello?”

“Is uh…is Travis there?” a woman asked.

“He’s in the shower, can I take a message?”

“Of course he is. Tell him that Megan called, would ya?”

Travis walked in, tightening his towel around his water-splotched waist, and smiled as I held out his phone.

“It’s for you,” I said.

He kissed me before looking at the display, and then shook his head. “Yeah? It was my girlfriend, what do you need, Megan?” He listened for a moment and then smiled, “Well, Pigeon’s special, what can I say?” After a long pause, he rolled his eyes. I could only imagine what she was saying. “Don’t be a bitch, Megan. Listen, you can’t call my phone anymore….Well, love’ll do that to ya,” he said, looking at me with a soft expression. “Yes, with Abby. I mean it, Meg, no more phone calls…Later.”

He tossed his phone on the bed, and then sat beside me. “She was a little pissy. Did she say anything to you?”

“No, she just asked for you.”

“I erased the few numbers I had on my phone, but I guess that doesn’t stop them from calling me. If they don’t figure it out on their own, I’ll set them straight.”

He watched me expectantly, and I couldn’t help but smile. I had never seen this side of him. “I trust you, you know.”

He pressed his lips to mine. “I wouldn’t blame you if you expected me to earn it.”

“I’ve got to get in the shower. I’ve already missed one class.”

“See? I’m a good influence already.”

I stood up, and he tugged on the sheet. “Megan said there’s a Halloween party this weekend at The Red Door. I went with her last year, it was pretty fun.”

“I’m sure it was,” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“I just mean a lot of people come out. They have a pool tournament and cheap drinks…wanna go?”

“I’m not really…I don’t do the dress up thing. I never have.”

“I don’t, either. I just go,” he shrugged.

“Are we still going bowling tonight?” I asked, wondering if the invitation was just to get some alone time with me that he no longer needed.

“Well, hell yeah! I’m gonna kick your ass, too!”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Not this time you’re not. I have a new superpower.”

He laughed. “And what’s that? Harsh language?”

I leaned over to kiss his neck once, and then ran my tongue up to his ear, kissing his earlobe. He froze in place.

“Distraction,” I breathed into his ear.

He grabbed my arms and flipped me onto my back. “You’re going to miss another class.”

After finally talking him into leaving the apartment long enough to attend History class, we raced to campus, and slid into the seat just before Professor Cheney began. Travis turned his red baseball cap backwards to plant a kiss on my lips, in full view of everyone in the classroom.

On our way to the cafeteria, he took my hand in his, intertwining our fingers as we walked. He seemed so proud to be holding my hand, announcing to the world that we were finally together. Finch noticed, looking at our hands, and then to me with a ridiculous grin. He wasn’t the only one, our simple display of affection generated stares and murmuring of everyone we passed.

At the door of the cafeteria, Travis blew out his last puff of smoke, looking to me when I hesitated. America and Shepley were already inside, and Finch had lit another cigarette, leaving me to go in with Travis alone. I was certain the gossip had soared to a new level since Travis had kissed me in full view of everyone in our History class, and I dreaded walking out onto the stage the cafeteria presented.

“What, Pigeon?” he said, tugging on my hand.

“Everyone is watching us.”

He pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed my fingers. “They’ll get over it. It’s just the initial shock. Remember when we first started hanging out? Their curiosity died down after awhile and they got used to seeing us together. C’mon,” he said, pulling me through the door.

One of the reasons I had chosen Eastern U was for its modest population, but the exaggerated interest in scandal that came with it was at times exhausting. It was a running joke; everyone was aware of how ridiculous the rumor mill was, and yet they all shamelessly participated in it.

We sat down in our usual spots with our food. America smiled at me with a knowing expression. She chatted as if everything was normal, but the football players at the other end of the table were staring at me like I was on fire.

Travis tapped my apple with his fork. “You gonna eat that, Pidge?”

“No, you can have it, Baby.”

Heat consumed my ears when America’s head jerked to look at me.

“It just came out,” I said, shaking my head. I peeked up at Travis, whose expression was a mixture of amusement and adoration.

We had exchanged the term a few times that morning, and it hadn’t occurred to me that it was new to everyone else until it tumbled from my mouth.

“You two have just reached the level of annoyingly cute,” America grinned.

Shepley tapped my shoulder. “You staying over tonight?” he asked, his words garbled among the bread in his mouth. “I promise I won’t come out of my room cussing at you.”

“You were defending my honor, Shep. You’re forgiven,” I said.

Travis took a bite of the apple and chewed, looking happy as I’d ever seen him. The peace in his eyes had returned, and even as the dozens of people watched our every move, everything felt…right.

I thought of all the times I had insisted being with Travis was the wrong decision, and how much time I had wasted fighting my feelings for him. Looking across the table at his soft, brown eyes, and the dimple dancing in his cheek as he chewed, I couldn’t remember what I was so worried about.

“He looks awful happy. Did you finally give it up, Abby?” Chris said, elbowing his teammates.

“You’re not very smart, are ya, Jenks?” Shepley said, frowning.

The blood instantly rose to my cheeks, and I looked to Travis who had murder in his eyes. My embarrassment took a back seat to Travis’ anger, and I shook my head dismissively. “Just ignore him.”

After another tense moment, his shoulders relaxed a bit, and he nodded once, taking a deep breath. After a few seconds, he winked at me.

I reached my hand across the table, sliding my fingers into his. “You meant what you said last night, didn’t you?”

He began to speak, but Chris’ laughter filled the cafeteria. “Holy God! Travis Maddox is whipped?”

“Did you mean it when you said you didn’t want me to change?” he asked, squeezing my hand.

I looked down at Chris laughing to his teammates, and then turned to Travis. “Absolutely. Teach that asshole some manners.”

A mischievous grin spread across his face, and he walked down to the end of the table where Chris sat. Silence spread across the room, and Chris swallowed back his laughter.