I licked my lips, dropped my head and stared at my Diet Coke because I knew what that told me about Mike. Cheryl was right. I knew all of this before walking into the bar.

“Yeah,” Cheryl said gently, her hand covering mine which was resting on the bar. She gave it a squeeze then she said, “You’re probably drivin’ but I’m callin’ Reggie, gettin’ us a pizza. You fill your belly with pizza, you can also add a bit of vodka to the mix and you need vodka. Cheryl’s orders.”

After she delivered that line, she walked away, heading toward the phone.

I looked at Feb who was watching me but Dee spoke.

“Sorry about all this Vi. On the face of it, lotsa women would think this was a great problem to have. But I can tell it’s eatin’ you.”

That was an understatement. It was more than eating me.

To communicate that, I nodded and said, “Yeah.”

“You need to talk, get my number from Feb. Anytime, hon, yeah?” I nodded again and she leaned in. “I mean that, okay? Not fun, bein’ new in town and not havin’ your girls around you. So you need girls and I’m happy to be one of them. Cool?”

I smiled at her because this felt good and she was right, I did need girls and I said, “Cool.”

She smiled back, threw Feb a look and walked around the bar, lifting up the section that was hinged so she could go and collect empties.

“Vi,” Feb called and I looked from Dee to her and she leaned in too, her voice quiet, almost a whisper as she said, “I needed fixing.”

I swallowed and her hand came out, covered mine and held on tight.

“If Colt gave up, thought I wasn’t worth the effort…” she shook her head, “God, don’t know what I’d do.”

“Feb,” I whispered back.

“My life was shit, Vi, absolute shit. I was breathin’ but I wasn’t livin’. I felt nothin’, just moved through life, empty. Colt filled me up. He didn’t give up on me until I was full. Now, honey, life is so full, every day I wake up next to him and I feel like I’m bursting.” Her hand squeezed mine and she whispered, “It’s beautiful.”

“I’m so glad for you.” I was also still whispering.

“You got it in you to give that to Cal, don’t give up on him. Man’s empty, he needs someone to fill him up.”

I licked my lips and fought back the tears that sprung to my eyes.

Her hand released mine and she said, “Mike’s a good guy too. Don’t get me wrong. Whatever you decide, you decide and I’m right there with you, yeah?”

I nodded even though I knew, without a doubt, she liked Mike but she wanted me with Joe.

Great, just what I needed, more contradictory advice.

“What do you like on your pizza?” Feb asked. “If it isn’t olives and sausage, we’ll have to order another one. That’s all Cheryl’ll order, she never asks anyone what they want.”

“That sounds good, I’m not picky,” I told her.

“Great,” she replied. “Girls’ night at J&J’s on a Sunday, perfect. Best day of the week and one of the best things you can do, hangin’ with your girls.”

She wasn’t wrong so I nodded at her and smiled.

“Be back in a sec,” she told me and moved away.

I took a sip of Diet Coke.

I was glad I came to J&J’s, it was better than going to an empty house and eating dinner for one. It was lots better, especially since it turned into girls’ night.

The problem was, I came to get their help to get my head straight and I was more torn than ever.

* * *

I heard the sliding glass door open and I rolled to look at the clock.

Eleven twenty-three.

I rolled to my back, wishing I wasn’t awake and waiting for Joe; wishing I hadn’t, a half an hour ago, done a new kind of walk of shame, checking on the girls to make sure they were asleep; wishing I had magic because I’d been lying in bed the last hour and a half, thinking of that scene with Bonnie, how Joe had been after it, knowing now that he was empty, like Feb said, because he wouldn’t be able to survive that scene without getting torn up inside unless there was nothing to tear up. And I wanted the magic to be able to fill him up like Feb was. Make him laugh and smile regularly like she did. Give him that look she had, where you knew life for her was good but she didn’t take it for granted because she knew how it felt when life could be bad and she appreciated what she had.

I left my door open for him and Joe closed it then I watched his shadow walk to the bed. I saw him bend, his boots hitting the carpet, heard his clothes rustle as he moved then heard them fall to the ground. Then he reached in and my bedside light was on.

I blinked and felt the covers being swept back and was able to focus when the wall of his body hit me.

“Joe –”

I stopped speaking because his lips were on mine, his tongue spiking in my mouth, his hands going up the tee, his tee that I wore to bed.

He kissed me breathless then lifted his head, his hands still moving on my skin along my sides, hips, over my ass.

“Talked to Tina,” he told me in that way of his where he started a conversation in the middle like we’d been talking for awhile not making out after him just getting to my bed.

“Yeah?” I whispered because I still hadn’t gotten over his kiss and it wasn’t helping that his hands kept moving, lazy and light, on my skin.

“Yeah. Think she got the message.”

“What’d you say?” I asked, my hands drifting on his back, his sides, over his ass.

“Told her she didn’t see what she thought she saw. I hear it from anyone that she told someone she saw what she thought she saw, shit would go down where she might not be able to see anything, since her eyes would be swollen shut.”

My hands stopped moving and my eyes got wide. “You threatened her?”

“She’s Tina.”

“Yeah, but you threatened her?”

“Buddy, I already lived here when she moved in with her husband and I watched her take her time, fuckin’ years, cuttin’ off his balls. It was painful to watch. She’s a bitch. I know you know that but I don’t think you know how big a bitch she is.”

“She’s already scared of you,” I informed him.

“Good, then she’ll keep her trap shut.”

“Joe, you shouldn’t threaten women.”

“She isn’t ‘women’, she’s Tina.”

I couldn’t help it, even though I was horrified that he did what he did, my body started shaking with laughter because he was right.

“Anyway, wouldn’t actually do it but I know she doesn’t know what to make of me because she doesn’t know what to make of a man she can’t lead around by his dick so she doesn’t know I wouldn’t do it. So I’m guessin’ our secret is safe.”

My hands started moving again. “Well, thanks, I guess.”

He grinned down at me. “You’re welcome, I guess.”

My hands both slid over his ass and stopped, my fingers gripped and I lifted up to touch my mouth to his. “Turn out the light.”

“Nope,” he replied and my head settled back on the pillows.

“Nope?”

“Nope.”

“Joe –”

“Got shit we gotta get outta the way before we play.”

My hands flexed into his ass again but not for fun this time.

“What?”

“Talked to Dane,” he announced.

“What?” I whispered.

“Caught him before he went into the house to pick up Kate. Asked him over. We had words or I gave him some words. Don’t think you’ll be buyin’ any baby shit anytime soon.”

My hands went from his ass to his waist and I held on.

“Please, Joe, tell me you didn’t threaten a seventeen year old kid.”

“Fuck no, Vi, Jesus.”

“What’d you say?”

“Let’s just say, he gets where I’m comin’ from,” Joe unusually evaded.

“Where are you coming from?”

“Kate’s off limits.”

My stomach did a somersault.

“Joe –”

“He understands respect, I reckon he understood it before but I reminded him.”

“Was he cool when he left?”

“He’s into her, got the impression he was glad I was lookin’ out for her. He’s a good kid.”

I didn’t know what to do with this. This was bigger than the rest. This was Joe out-and-out taking care of Kate, not for me, for Kate.

“Joe –” I started again.

“Still, gave him condoms.”

My body went solid underneath him but my fingers dug into his waist.

“What!” I snapped.

Joe shrugged. “Shit happens.”

I turned my head on the pillow, looked at the bed and breathed, “Oh my God.”

His hand came to my face and he forced me to look at him. “Baby, it’s bein’ smart.”

“It’s giving him ideas.”

Joe smiled. “Buddy, he’s already got those ideas.”

I knew this but I didn’t need to be reminded of it so I glared at Joe and his smile got bigger as his head lowered and he kissed me.

I tried to be pissed off but when his kiss grew deeper and his hands up my tee got greedier, I forgot to be pissed off.

“Turn off the light,” I repeated, not knowing why he turned it on in the first place. When we were at his house, we never turned on the light.

“No, baby,” he said softly against my mouth, his hand leaving the tee, going to my arm, trailing down it as he slid off my body to the side.

“Joe, why –”

I stopped speaking because I knew why when his hand guided mine to my panties and then it guided it in.

“Joe –”

His finger pressed my finger against my clit and he murmured, his voice thick, “Gonna watch.”

“Joe –”

“When you’re done, you’re gonna watch me.”

My hips bucked up and I felt my lips part in wonder.

I liked this idea.

“That made you wet,” he muttered, his finger guiding mine down and then both his and mine slid in and I moaned as he finished, “or wetter.”