Kristen Ashley - At Peace

“You took everything from me,” he stated calmly.

“I took everything from you? You took everything from me!” I screeched.

“I handed you the world gift by gift. You didn’t even bother to open the boxes.”

“You’re a lunatic. You think the world fits in a box?” I snapped.

He leaned forward and his face twisted in a way that I did not like.

“You would know if you bothered to open the fucking boxes!”

I leaned forward too, keeping his focus as I heard Frankie dragging herself away.

“I do know what it feels like to be handed the world, you asshole!” I shouted, “Tim did it when he got me pregnant at seventeen and then gave me a beautiful life until you took his. Then Joe gave it to me again and he did it just by giving a shit that I’d walked across a goddamned yard in bare feet! And here I stand in front of you, and you think you gave me the world when you don’t even care that I’m running through a forest in bare feet!”

* * *

Cal stood ten feet to the side of Hart, raised his gun and took aim

He did this listening to Vi and smiling.

* * *

Frankie’s head came up, her eyes hit Benny and she quit dragging herself through the leaves.

Benny squatted low and put his finger to his lips.

Frankie squished her lips into her nose and mouthed, “Bare feet?”

Benny hoped to all hell that this meant the blood coming from her middle wasn’t oozing the life out of her.

Benny grinned at Frankie, shook his head, straightened, raised his gun and took aim.

* * *

Hart wasn’t listening to me firstly because he was focused on his own shit and secondly because he was a maniac.

“I built an empire and I put it at risk for you.”

“I didn’t ask for that, didn’t want it, still don’t want it,” I snapped back.

“And now it’s gone,” he whispered, “because of you.”

“Let me enlighten you, Mr. Hart. After they put you away for a thousand years, by some miracle you get out and you find a woman who catches your fancy, she doesn’t want an empire. She wants you to give a shit. That’s it. She just wants you to give a shit.”

He still wasn’t listening.

“I gave it all for you,” he whispered, his voice quiet in a scary way.

“You didn’t give anything.” My voice was quiet too. “You just took.” My eyes moved to his gun and I made an invitation that I hoped he didn’t accept but instead would finally fucking listen to me. “So take now. Take my daughters’ mother away. Take again from Joe, someone who life hasn’t allowed to keep hold of many good things. Take me.”

He raised his gun to point at my head.

I kept staring at the gun and I wondered if Tim and Sam felt like this in their last moments. If they felt their heart racing. If their throat had closed. If they felt every inch of their skin tingling. If their mind moved to me, the girls, Mel. If they sent out a prayer that someone would make us all right when they were gone. If they hoped to all that was holy that we’d never forget that they loved us.

I raised my eyes to his.

“I hate you,” I whispered.

He smiled.

Then I heard the gunshots.

Frankie opened her eyes. She felt supremely weird, confused and definitely not at her best. She looked around, saw she was in a hospital bed and she remembered.

She was about to mutter something unladylike when she saw Benny standing at the window looking out. His dark hair was wet and had been slicked back but because it was drying part of the front had fallen onto his forehead and the back had begun to curl around in that sexy way it did. He had on a white t-shirt and jeans, boots, the usual, mostly. He could dress up and look good. It wasn’t better when he dressed up. It was just his usual too… fucking… good.

She knew she was going to hell. She’d been shot and she still was perving on her dead boyfriend’s brother. Granted, he was hot, there was a lot to perv on. Still, she was going to hell.

He turned, looked at her and she saw the worry in his face. When his warm brown eyes caught hers and he saw she was awake, he hid the worry and his face went soft.

Her mouth watered.

Yeah, definitely perv-worthy.

He walked to her bed, yanking a chair with him so it was close and he sat in it and leaned even closer.

“Hey Frankie,” he whispered.

“Hey,” she rasped.

“How you doin’?” he asked.

“How you think I’m doin’?” she asked back and he grinned when she hit him with her attitude.

“Never been shot, babe, but I ‘spect you ain’t doin’ great,” he remarked.

“You’d be right,” she returned.

Benny looked to her belly then back to her eyes. “Bullet didn’t hit anything major,” he informed her.

“Finally, good news.”

He grinned again. “You lost a lot of blood,” he went on but she already knew that. She’d felt it. She didn’t know if it was the right thing for Benny to do when he picked her up and ran through the forest with her in his arms, straight to his SUV but she guessed it wasn’t. Still, there was no stopping him, even when she laid the attitude on him telling him to put her the fuck down and call an ambulance. He didn’t listen. He was on a mission. “They want you in here awhile,” he finished.

“Call the Pope, tell him I’m gonna miss our meeting,” Frankie muttered and she heard his soft chuckle.

Damn, but she liked to make him laugh. She’d sell her soul to make him laugh. Even before, when she was with Vinnie, she liked to make Benny laugh. He had a great laugh, a great smile, a great face. Expressive. But he’d been like a brother then, a good one, a sweet one and she’d loved him. She’d loved Vinnie’s whole family. Hers wasn’t great and she knew great when she felt it. That had been the best gift Vinnie gave her. She sometimes wondered if she loved Vinnie’s family more than Vinnie. Then Vinnie would be Vinnie and she’d quit wondering.

How Benny went from sweet, funny brother to perv-worthy, Frankie didn’t know. She spent seven years trying to figure it out. She’d never thought of him that way instead of in a detached way when she’d hear other girls talking about him. Any woman could see it; Frankie just had Vinnie so she didn’t much think about it. Then she didn’t have Vinnie and she found herself thinking about it.

Definitely going to hell.

“Cops wanna ask you questions,” Benny broke into her thoughts and she focused on him.

“Okay,” she replied and he shifted closer.

“Ma and Pop are here,” he hesitated, “they wanna see you.”

Frankie stared into his eyes for half a second then looked away. “No.”

“Frankie, babe…” Benny whispered.

She got it. She knew Theresa, Vinnie Senior, Manny and even Benny had to blame someone. They loved Vinnie. He was a great guy, a great son, a great brother. They needed to shift the blame for all of Vinnie’s fuck ups to someone. And she loved Vinnie enough to accept it.

But she’d paid enough of Vinnie’s penance. She loved him and you do that kind of thing for someone you love but enough was enough.

She looked back at Benny and whispered, “No.”

He reached out and took her hand in both of his. His were big and warm. Strong. He leaned in even deeper and lifted her hand so he could rest his chin against her fingers and his elbows in the bed.

“Francesca,” he said quietly, “what you did today was crazy stupid.”

“Thanks,” she was quiet too but it was quiet sarcasm not quiet gentleness.

“Babe, listen to me,” Benny ordered, “it was also crazy brave.”

She didn’t reply. She just stared into his dark brown eyes.

“What you did, for family, they’re gonna wanna heal the breach.”

“Too late,” Frankie whispered and Benny’s hands tightened on hers.

“Honey –”

“I got a job in Indianapolis,” she announced.

“What?” he whispered, sounding surprised and maybe a little pissed like he knew everything about her and wasn’t expecting a surprise.

“Finally leavin’ this shit behind.”

“Frankie –”

“Not sayin’ I’m not glad maybe they don’t hate me anymore, you’re here, bein’ nice, maybe you don’t, that’s all good but I’m gone.”

“You’re not movin’ to Indy,” he declared.

“Waited too long. It’s time to start over. Clean slate,” Frankie said.

“Babe –” he started but Frankie looked away and closed her eyes.

“I’m tired,” she whispered and his hands tightened again on hers.

“Frankie –”

“Go away, Ben, I need to rest.”

His hands tightened even further. “Look at me.”

She tried to pull her hand away.

“Francesca, fuckin’ look at me.”

She opened her eyes and looked at him.

“You’re not movin’ to Indy,” he repeated.

“Go away.”

“We gotta talk.”

“Nothin’ to say.”

“Frankie –”

It took a lot of effort and the rest of the energy she had but she yanked her hand from his.

Then she whispered, “I took my hit for your family today. I atoned. It’s done. All I did was fall in love with Vinnie but you took your penance from me like I did wrong and I loved you all once, so I gave it. I bled for you today. This is good this happened. It gave me my chance to do what you needed me to do. But you aren’t gettin’ anything more.”

Benny left his seat but he did it in a bent over squat, his face getting in hers.

“You’ve had a bad day,” he stated, “so I’ll give you this shit right now. Then I’m comin’ back and we’re gonna talk.”