"I like that," Charity said. '"Understood backward and lived forward.' Is he single?"

Jessica blinked, and Nina said, "She's kidding. She has a mouth problem."

"Good," Jessica said. "She'll be wonderful on a book tour."

"A book tour?" Charity echoed, and as Nina sat back and watched, Charity and Jessica bonded over chocolate milk shakes and a belief that her book was going to make a ton of money for all of them.


* * *

Downstairs, Alex and Max were popping tabs on cans again, but this time the cans were full of Coke.

"You overreacted," Alex told Max. "We weren't alcoholics."

"Yeah, right, sure," Max said. "We just drank too much every night and passed out and had hangovers.''

Alex started to laugh in spite of himself and his misery. "We never passed out. You're exaggerating."

"But I was right, just the same," Max said.

"You were right." Alex leaned his head back and tried to take stock, equally miserable and relieved after the day he'd spent cleaning up the mess he'd made of his life. "What happened there? How did I lose my grip so fast?"

"You got Nina and didn't want to lose her and you panicked," Max said. "And she didn't help things any, telling you she wouldn't marry you so you'd be free to leave when you grew up. That's no way to treat a guy."

Alex scowled at him. "Don't pick on Nina."

Max shook his head. "Not me. I'm crazy about her."

Alex sat up. "Hey."

Max waved him back. "And she's crazy about you. She just has some stuff to work out."

"Well, how long is it going to take her?" Alex asked. "I want her back now, but she was gone all day, and she's not answering her phone. She even locked her window." He winced as he said it. That had been the unkindest cut of all.

"Well, it would help if you canceled the house contract and told Dad you weren't going to grow up to be a cardiologist," Max told him, exasperated. "You're not exactly innocent here."

Alex nodded. "I know. It's done. All of it. I told Dad today. I also told him that you were right, and I gave him AA's phone number. It won't do any good, but at least he's disgusted with both of us."

"Well, then," Max said. "You did all the right things. Go make your move."

Alex closed his eyes. "She called me a jerk less than twenty-four hours ago and locked her window. I think it might be a little soon to make my move."

Max looked at him with blatant pity. "And then there are those duck shorts you're wearing."

"Hey." Alex glared at him. "Don't make fun of these duck shorts. They remind me of Nina." He grew philosophical. "These are my lucky shorts. I get her when I wear these shorts."

Max closed his eyes and shook his head. "Now I remember why I drank when I was with you. When I'm sober, you sound like a moron. Let me get this straight. You're wearing your lucky duck shorts because you think that will get Nina back?"

"No," Alex said. "I'll get Nina back, anyway. But it's too soon to make my move. So I'm wearing the shorts because I miss her like hell, and they remind me of her."

"And when will you be making this move?" Max asked pointedly.

"When I get my nerve up," Alex said. "A hell of a time you picked for us to go teetotal."


* * *

Charity and Jessica left at eleven, still discussing what a well-run book tour would entail, and Nina was left alone in her apartment with Fred.

Just what she wanted. Just what she'd told Alex she wanted.

Well, she'd lied. She wanted Alex. Not in that damn house, but she could talk him out of that. He didn't want that, either. He wanted the apartments and Fred and old movies and jogging and the ER. All she had to do was convince him that she wanted that, too, and that she believed in him. She hadn't had unconditional love before, she'd had a marriage where appearances were everything and being at the right party meant more than being with the right person. But with Alex, she'd had the right person.

The problem was, she'd been living her life backward instead of understanding it backward.

It was time to go forward.

Fred wiped his nose on her leg.

"Alex loves me unconditionally, Fred," she told him. "I know that. There is no doubt in my mind. It's just my ego in the way. I wanted to give him a perfect body, and all he wanted was mine."

Fred whined.

"One Oreo," she said, and stood up to get him one, but then stopped, struck by an idea. "No, wait. I have something for you that's better than an Oreo," she said, and headed for the bedroom with him trotting after her.

Nina went to her drawer and pulled out the Incredibra, designed to make not-so-perfect women look like impossibly perfect centerfolds. Never again. "Here, Fred," she said, and dropped it in front of him. "It's all yours, buddy. Wear it with my blessing."

Fred grabbed the bra, looking as close to ecstasy as she'd ever seen him, and ran with it.

Nina stripped off her clothes and went to the mirror and stared at herself with the bedroom light on.

There was nothing wrong with her body. All right, it was softer than it had been, and her waist was thicker than it had been, and nothing about it could be called perky, but it was a good healthy body, and Alex loved it. Playboy would never come calling, but she didn't want Playboy, she wanted Alex.

Nina put on her trench coat, unlocked her living-room window and climbed down the fire escape to get him.

Of course, Max was there when she climbed in Alex's window. They were sitting across from each other, their feet on Alex's coffee table, drinking Coke, when they looked up and saw her.

Alex stood up first, but Max was only a beat behind. "I was just going," he told her. "And I've got to tell you, I've never left for a better reason."

Nina smiled at him and he grinned back.

"Leave, Max," Alex said, and Max said, "I'm already gone."

Then he was, and she was alone with Alex, not sure what to say or do next.

"I've missed you," Alex said, "and I was stupid."

"I've missed you, too," Nina said.

Then Alex set his jaw. "But if you've come here to tell me I'm too young for you to marry, you can crawl right back through that damn window. I mean it. I want it all this time."

Nina took a deep breath. The she untied her belt and dropped her trench coat and stood there naked in front of him, with all the living-room lights on.

"Oh, God." Alex walked toward her. "Forget the window. You stay away from that window. In fact, I'm having that window nailed shut, so you can forget about ever leaving me again."

She moved then, too, meeting him halfway across the room, closing her eyes as her naked body touched him, arching herself into him as he held her close and his hands moved down her back.

"God, I've missed you," he whispered into her hair. "I was going crazy trying to figure out how to get you back. What the hell were you doing all day and night?"

"I had Charity and Jessica up there." She leaned her head against his chest, so glad to be with him again and to have his hands on her again that she couldn't talk for a minute. "We were working things out. And when we worked those things out, I'd worked this out, too." She looked up at him. "I thought I'd never find anybody who'd love me enough that it wouldn't matter that I wasn't twenty again, so I decided I'd make sure I never needed anyone. And I did. I'm independent now and I can get by without anyone. Anyone but you."

Alex closed his eyes for a moment, and said, "Don't walk out on me again. Please. If I screw up, just tell me, but don't leave."

She shook her head. "Never. I couldn't ever leave you again."

He kissed her, softly at first so that she shuddered under his hands, but then harder, probing her mouth with his tongue, and she wanted him naked, lusted for the feel of his skin on hers, and she ran her hands under his T-shirt, sliding it up his body as she slid her palms up his chest. He sucked in his breath and then helped her pull the shirt over tiis head, moaning with her as her breasts touched his skin. His hands moved down to cup her breasts, his thumbs rough on her nipples and she pressed against him, craving the ache of his hands hard on her.

"Anything else you need to say?" he whispered in her ear. "Say it fast because in about another thirty seconds, I'm going to drag you to the floor, and then we're not talking anymore."

"Tell me you're not going to be a cardiologist and we don't have to live in that damn house." Nina let her hands slide down his back, smoothing her palms over the muscles there that clenched as she touched them. "I'll love you and stay with you anyway, no matter what, but you'll hate being a cardiologist, and I'll hate the house, and I don't care about the money."

"I'm not going to be a cardiologist." Alex bent his head until his forehead was against hers. "My father isn't speaking to me anymore, but the house is gone and I'm staying in the ER. Even Max is taking a two-month leave of absence. We're turning into human beings. At least I am. It's what I want."

Nina let her hands slip over his rear end, feeling the cotton of his shorts, rough against her palms after the smoothness of his skin. "It's what I want, too," she said, and then she hooked her thumbs in his waistband, and pulled his duck shorts down as she kissed her way down his stomach until she could take him in her mouth.

"You can have anything you want," Alex said, and his voice cracked. "Except separate beds. Oh, God, don't stop doing that."