“I always thought so too. I think it's too bad they never had kids.”

“She probably wouldn't have let me see them anyway,” Faith said unhappily, and then looked up at Brad again. It was so nice talking to him about Jack, and life, and old times. “Are you really going to e-mail me?” she asked, looking young again, and he wanted to tell her to take down her hair so she'd look like the Fred he had always loved. She was the little sister he had never had, and had always been. And in some ways, she still seemed like a kid to him, and he felt protective of her.

“I told you I would.” He put his arm around her again and held her close as they walked. She was almost home.

“You won't drift away again? I miss you when I don't hear from you. There's no one left from my childhood anymore, except you.”

“You'll hear from me, Fred. I promise. But I want you to look into schools too. The world needs more lawyers like you.” They both laughed at that. And a few minutes later, they were standing outside her house. It looked elegant and respectable, with freshly painted black trim against the brick, and a narrow clipped hedge out front.

“Thank you for coming today, Brad. It's weird to say, but it actually ended up being a nice day. It's a funny thing to say about a funeral,” but it had meant a lot to her to spend time with him. She was happier than she had been in a long time. She felt comfortable and at peace, and safe, and loved, almost the way she had been as a little girl, when she was hanging out with him and Jack. They were the only thing about her childhood that she had loved.

“I think Charlie would have enjoyed himself if he'd been there. I'm glad I went. It's been a long time since you and I talked. Take care of yourself. I worry about you.” He looked down at her with concern, and she looked up at him with a brave smile.

“I'll be fine. Have a safe trip back to California, and don't work too hard.”

“That's the part I like best,” he admitted to her. Other than his sons, it was the only thing that really meant something to him in his life. He didn't have a lot of common ground left with Pam, and was no longer sure he ever had.

Brad gave her a big hug then, and hailed a cab, and she watched him get in and drive away. He rolled down the window just before they turned the corner, and gave her a last wave. Faith wasn't entirely sure she would hear from him again. He had drifted out of her life several times. After law school, and again after Jack's funeral. But at least they had shared this one lovely day. And in an odd way, it had been like sharing a visit not only with him, but with Jack. She was still smiling to herself when she turned the key and walked into the house.

She could hear Alex moving around upstairs. She hung up her coat, and walked slowly up the stairs, thinking of Brad.

“How was it?” Alex asked her, as she walked into their bedroom, and she looked at him with a smile.

“Nice. Everything went fine. Allison rented a room at the Waldorf, and a lot of people came by afterward. A lot of his friends, and my mom's. And Brad Patterson, I hadn't seen him since … in a long time.”

“Who's that?” Alex looked distracted. The television was on and he'd been watching the news. He was standing in his boxer shorts and socks, buttoning a freshly starched white shirt. And as he talked to her, he knotted his tie.

“He's a friend of Jack's. His best friend, in fact. We grew up together. You met him at Jack's funeral. He lives in San Francisco. You probably don't remember him.” There had been so many people there, and Alex never paid close attention to details like that, or people who were of no use to him. Brad would have fit into that category for him.

“No, I don't. Will you be ready in time?” He looked concerned. It was an important evening for him. It was a dinner party given by one of the senior partners of the firm, for a new client they had just signed. And he didn't want to be late. But Faith seldom was.

“I'll be ready in half an hour. I'll take a quick bath, and do my hair. How was Chicago?”

“Tiresome. But necessary. It went all right.” He didn't ask her anything about the funeral, but she wasn't surprised. Once he knew he wasn't going, he had swept it from his mind.

She walked into the bathroom then, and as promised, emerged half an hour later, wearing a black silk cocktail dress and a string of pearls, with her makeup on, and her hair combed straight down her back. She looked more like one of his daughters than his wife. They both had Faith's blond hair. Alex looked her over appraisingly and nodded, and didn't say anything. It would have been nice to hear him say she looked beautiful, but he hadn't done that in a long time.

They left the house five minutes later, and hailed a cab. The dinner party was ten blocks down Park Avenue, and Alex didn't say anything to Faith as they rode downtown. She didn't notice. Her mind was a million miles away. She was thinking about Brad. It had been so nice talking to him all afternoon. She hadn't confided in anyone that way in such a long time. Not since the last time she had talked to him, when Jack had died. It made her feel suddenly as though someone was interested in her life, her worries, her fears, the things that mattered to her. She had found in him the family she had been longing for and felt she had lost in the past few years. It reminded her of something she forgot at times these days, that someone cared about her, and she was loved.





3


ALEX WENT BACK TO CHICAGO THE FOLLOWING WEEK, and surprisingly he actually made an effort to spend some time with Faith over the weekend when he got back. They went for a walk in Central Park on Saturday and then had an early dinner at a nearby restaurant on Sunday night. Alex spent the day in the office on Sunday, but it had been a surprise when he offered to take her out after she got back from church. He rarely spent time with her on weekends anymore, and she was touched that he had. He was planning to be in Chicago again the following week.

Faith called Zoe on Monday night, and asked if she had some spare time. Faith had been missing her a lot, and suggested she come up to visit, and Zoe was thrilled. She and her mother had always been close. She suggested that Faith come to Providence on Tuesday night. She wanted to stay at the hotel with Faith, although she had two roommates she liked. And Faith was smiling when she hung up and booked a room.

On Tuesday night, Faith got off the plane, took a cab into Providence, and checked into the hotel. Zoe arrived half an hour later, with a small overnight bag, and the two looked more like sisters than mother and daughter as they chatted and laughed and hugged, and sprawled out comfortably in the cozy room. They went out to dinner that night, and Faith told her about Charles's funeral, and seeing Brad. She had told both her daughters endless stories about growing up with him and Jack, and Zoe could see easily how happy it had made her to see her old friend.

“I talked to him about going back to school,” Faith told her over dessert. She and Zoe had talked about it before Zoe left for Brown, and she thought it an excellent idea. But she hadn't heard anything about it since, and was glad to hear that her mother hadn't abandoned the possibility. She knew that she needed something to do with her life.

“I think it's a great idea, Mom,” Zoe encouraged her. She knew how lonely her mother had been ever since she and Ellie had left home. “Have you done anything about it yet?”

“I thought I'd get some catalogs, and check into the tests I'd have to take. I'd have to prepare for the LSAT. I'm not even sure I could pass, let alone get into law school.” She looked nervous about it, but excited as well, and Zoe was thrilled. Faith looked happier and more animated than Zoe had seen her look in months. “I could take some general law courses at the NYU School of Continuing Education, and a prep course for the LSAT, which I'd need. I haven't decided yet, but it would be fun, and a lot more interesting than the bridge lessons Dad thinks I should take.” She smiled ruefully at Zoe.

“Good for you, Mom.” And then the pretty blonde, who was the image of her mother, frowned. She knew all the obstacles Faith would have to face. And Faith did too. “Have you told Dad?”

“Not yet. We talked about it a while back. He wasn't too pleased.” It was a modest understatement of the facts, as Zoe knew.

“There's a surprise. Not. The Iceman doesn't like the idea of you being independent, Mom. He just wants you to sit around the house, waiting to take care of him.”

“That's not a nice thing to say about your father,” Faith said loyally, but they both knew it was true. “He actually suggested I do some more charity work. He likes it when I keep busy.”

“As long as it's not something that threatens him.” She was surprisingly astute. “And you've done enough charity work. You've taken care of all of us, now you need to do something for you.” Zoe was always quick to champion her mother's cause, and she and her father had had a running battle for years. She said openly that all her father cared about was his work. As far as she was concerned, her father had been a nonparticipant in their family for most of her life. She was well aware that her mother had always been there for them. She and her older sister had heated arguments over it. Eloise had always hotly defended their dad, although she loved her mother too. But Zoe spoke openly about how emotionally unavailable their father was, and she thought that their mother had gotten a raw deal. “I really want you to do it, Mom. I'm going to bug you till you do.”

“You and Brad,” Faith smiled. “What if I don't do well on the test? I may not even be able to get in. You have more faith in me than I do in myself. We'll see.” And she still had to talk to Alex about it. That was key.