“Don't talk about your father that way.” “Why not? He is. When were you going to tell us?” “I don't know. This is all pretty new. I've just been sitting here crying all week.”

“Poor Mom. I'm so sorry … I wish I'd known … I'm so glad I came home. I don't even know why I did. I just missed you this week.”

“Me too,” Faith said, as the two women hugged and she cried helplessly. And then Zoe took over, and tucked her into her bed. She went downstairs and made her some soup and scrambled eggs. She was shaken by the news she'd heard, but not as badly as Faith. All she wanted to do now was take care of her mom.

She climbed into bed with her when she came back upstairs, and they hugged and talked and watched TV.

And when Brad called late that night, she told him that Zoe was there, and he was relieved. She told him what Alex had said, and he sounded grim at his end.

“What a son of a bitch he is,” Brad said, sounding disgusted, and when Zoe left the room to go brush her teeth, Faith whispered what she knew about the girl, and that he'd been involved with her for nearly a year.

“I know you don't believe this now, but maybe this is for the best, Fred. You'd have never left him, and he'd have ruined your life.” But it was twenty-six years. A lot to lose in a single week. No matter how difficult he was, or how cold, she couldn't imagine a life without him. “I don't want to bother you if you're with Zoe. I'll call you tomorrow. Get some sleep.”

“I will.” Zoe had told her to sleep with her in her bed, and Faith was relieved. She couldn't imagine ever sleeping in her own bed again.

“Who was that?” Zoe asked when she came back from brushing her teeth. She felt like a mother taking care of her child, instead of the reverse.

“Brad Patterson.”

“The rosary guy?” Faith nodded, still looking sad, and Zoe smiled. “Maybe now you can marry him.”

“Don't be silly. He's like my brother, he practically is my brother, and he's married. And I'm still married to your dad.” But they both knew now that it wouldn't be for long. Faith couldn't even fathom it, as she lay in bed with Zoe that night. And she finally fell into a deep troubled sleep.





16


ZOE WENT BACK TO SCHOOL ON SUNDAY NIGHT, AND they talked all weekend before that. Faith was still in shock, and in spite of how miserable she was, she never told Zoe about the girl. She just said that her father said he wanted a more exciting life than he had with her, and he was furious that she had gone back to school, which was hardly news.

“Those are stupid reasons to get a divorce, Mom. Do you think he's having an affair?” Zoe said sensibly. But Faith didn't give away what had started it. In spite of everything, she was still loyal to him.

“I really don't know,” was all she said.

But she felt better by the time Zoe left. And she saw the lawyer Brad had recommended the following week. He told her everything she needed to know, and showed her the report from the private investigator. The girl's name was Leslie James. And a photograph they'd included showed a very pretty girl. She was tall and shapely and looked like a model, and had long wavy black hair, which Faith already knew. She had a five-year-old daughter, the report said, and she was well liked in the office. The romance was apparently an open secret at Alex's firm. The other secretaries in the office thought they might get married, but Alex had never said as much to anyone.

Faith felt as though she had been kicked in the stomach by the time she left. She was a beautiful girl certainly, and very young. She was eighteen years younger than Faith, which was yet another blow.

She was sitting in her study, staring into space, when the phone rang. It was Brad, checking to see how the meeting had gone.

“It was fine. I saw the report. She's a beautiful girl, Brad. I guess I can't blame him.” She sounded mortally depressed.

“I can. The guy's a fool. You're beautiful too.” More so than anyone Brad knew, inside and out.

“Thank you,” she said politely, but she didn't sound convinced. She felt as though her whole life had caved in, and it had. She and Zoe had laughed over the fact that she had missed Valentine's Day entirely. It had disappeared into the smoke of her own private hell. She hadn't even remembered what day it was, and she no longer cared. But Zoe had gotten the chocolates her mother had sent. And so had Ellie in London, after a slight delay.

“I have some news for you,” Brad said, trying to cheer her up. He had been worried about her for more than a week. She was sounding depressed, and he knew she'd been struggling in school, but at least she went.

“What's that?” she asked, feeling half dead. She felt as though she were hanging somewhere in outer space. Everything about her life suddenly seemed unreal.

“I have to come to New York for a couple of days. I have some work to do there. I was hoping you'd have dinner with me. We can just go out for pizza if you don't feel like getting dressed.”

“Now that is good news,” she said with a sad smile. Even seeing him wasn't the joy it would have been only weeks before. But it was pretty good. It was something to look forward to. “When are you coming?”

“This weekend actually. I have to see a couple of attorneys there, to consult on a tough case. I'm coming in late Friday night. I can be at your door on Saturday morning, and maybe we can go skating in the park.”

“I thought you had to work,” she said vaguely, and he smiled at his end. She wasn't as dead as he thought.

“I do. I'll work it in. But I'd love to see you. Save me Saturday night, Fred. I'm going home on the red-eye Sunday night. It's a quick trip.” He had concocted it entirely for her. He was worried sick about her, and he told himself he owed it to Jack. He wanted to go to New York to take a look at her and make sure she was all right. He didn't have to see anyone, but he told her he did, just so he would have the excuse to come and visit her. It seemed like the least he could do.

And by the time he arrived in New York, Faith had survived another week since Alex's perfidy. Their lawyers had contacted each other, and things were moving ahead. They hadn't told Ellie yet, but Alex had said he would call her over the weekend, and Faith dreaded the reaction from her. It was easy to guess that no matter how wrong her father had been, or how cruel, she would side with him. But since she was closer to Alex, Faith agreed that Ellie should hear it from him. Especially since Zoe had heard it from her. She knew she couldn't have convinced Ellie to see it her way anyway. Faith only hoped that Ellie would try to see her side too.

Brad decided to stay at the Carlyle, so he would be close to her. And he arrived at the house on Saturday morning, at nine o'clock after he had showered and shaved. He had been so tired he had actually slept decently on the plane. All he had told Pam was the same he'd told Faith, that he had to meet with two attorneys in New York about a tough case. And Pam hadn't questioned it. And in the end, neither did Faith. He had been afraid that she would object to his coming, if she thought it was just for her. She didn't want to impose on him more than she already had.

And he was worried when he saw her open her front door. She looked very pale and very thin, in a black turtleneck and black jeans, no makeup, dark circles, and her straight blond hair was hanging straight on either side of her face. It was obvious that she had lost weight. But she smiled as soon as she saw him and gave him a warm hug. She didn't look as shell-shocked as she had sounded on the phone at first. She just looked tired, and very sad.

She toasted him English muffins, made coffee, and scrambled eggs, and they sat in the kitchen and talked for a long time. And afterward they sat in the living room, and he made a fire. She was still sleeping in Zoe's room, and was beginning to think she always would.

“It's so weird,” she confessed to Brad, “I feel like I did after Jack died. I feel like everything's different and will never be the same again. Twenty-six years of my life just went right down the tubes.”

“I know, kiddo. It's the shits. You'll get used to it after a while. And it will be better one day. It's different than Jack. This gives you a chance to have a better life. Alex was killing you slowly. You're the one who deserves to have a life, not him,” Brad said quietly as they sat by the fire. He had asked if she wanted to go skating, but she said she was too tired, and in truth so was he. It was a long way to come for a weekend after a busy week, but it was worth it for her. He was glad he had come, and so was she.

“What time do you have to work?” she asked, and he almost forgot, but recovered before she noticed it.

“Around four o'clock. Maybe five. I only need a couple of hours with them, but we just couldn't cover it on the phone, too many files.” He figured he'd go to the hotel and take a nap, and then meet her again for dinner.

“You didn't come just for me, did you, Brad?” she asked suspiciously with a familiar smile, and he laughed.

“Hell, no. I love you, Fred. But I wouldn't come all this way just to mend your broken heart.”

“Good. You've got better things to do with your time than worry about me.”

“I say that to myself every day,” he teased. “Actually, you're worth worrying about, Fred. You got a rotten break, kid. I think your first rotten break was the day you married him.”

“That's what Jack always said.” But there had been rotten breaks much earlier in her life too, which had set the stage for her accepting far too much pain from Alex.

“Jack was right. About a lot of things.”

He took her out to lunch, and they went to a deli nearby. She picked around at an egg salad sandwich, and he nagged her until she ate half of it. And he shared a bowl of matzoh ball soup with her. It was one of his favorite things about New York.