Brody pulled in a deep breath and wound his arm around Elisa’s shoulders. “That would be ideal. But considering the condition Louise is in, I don’t think moving her would be the easiest thing. It would probably be pretty difficult for her to travel that far.”

“Brody, you can’t give up. You need to fight them on this.”

“Trust me, I’m going to. I just don’t think I’m going to win. If it comes down to it, I’ll move out there with them.”

Elisa’s heart skipped a beat, then dropped down to her stomach, making her physically ill. A frisson of fear snaked through her, and a shudder wracked her body. Of course Brody would go where his son was. Why would she expect him to do otherwise? Just because she was in love with him? Brody had never returned the sentiment. It could very well be easy for him to walk away from her.

You’re going to leave.

Yes, but what if she came back and he was gone? What if, while she was away in Mongolia, he moved to Michigan?

But…

What if he loved her the same way she loved him? What if there was an actual future for them waiting for her? She knew he had some caring feelings for her. But Elisa wasn’t willing to potentially alter her entire career for someone who merely cared about her. She needed to know without a doubt that Brody was willing to invest his heart the way she already had hers.

Brody must have felt her body stiffen in his arms. He glanced at her. “I can’t be away from him, Elisa. He’s my only child. He’s my whole reason for living.”

His eyes were so very gray that her heart cracked open even more. She couldn’t meet his gaze. She just couldn’t. “I understand that, Brody.”

“But you don’t like it,” he said in a quiet voice.

She shifted out of his hold and lay down on her back. The ceiling held nothing of real interest for her to look at. But it was better than looking at Brody. If she did, she might allow the tears that were threatening to go ahead and fall. “How I feel about this is irrelevant. It’s not like we’ve declared any kind of serious relationship or even exclusivity.”

“But you want to.”

Now was not the time to talk about this. Her emotions hung on the precipice and they would break at any moment. The thought of watching Brody walk away was like gutting her heart out with a spoon.

“Elisa—”

She shook her head on the pillow. “I told you, how I feel about this doesn’t matter.”

He placed his hand under her chin and slowly turned her head so she had to look at him. His expression was guarded, his eyes giving away nothing of how he felt about her. “We’re not talking about that anymore. We’re talking about us now.”

“What about us?” she whispered.

His thumb ran back and forth hypnotically across her jaw line. “I care about you. Probably more than any other woman I’ve been with.”

Here it comes. The “but.”

“But you’re leaving, and right now this is all I can give you. I’m not capable of anything else.”

“What if I wasn’t leaving? Are you telling me you’d feel differently?”

He paused before answering, and the fact that he couldn’t look her in the eye wasn’t a comforting sign. “But you are leaving, so there’s no sense in asking ‘what if.’ ”

Yep. That hurt just as much as she expected it to. Her heart squeezed in her chest and just about knocked the breath out of her.

“Because you don’t think you’re capable of a relationship?” she asked.

“I know I’m not.”

She wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything would be okay. That he was worthy of being loved and it was okay to love someone back. The man had no faith in love anymore. Sure, he thought it was his fault. In fact, it was. But everyone deserved a second chance. Over the years, he’d started using his infidelity to define him. That wasn’t who Brody was. She needed to convince him of that. But, more important, she needed to protect her heart. Walking away from him unscathed was impossible now.

“I told you before, I can’t just be a sex buddy to you.”

He lowered his head and placed a soft, tender kiss on her mouth. “You’re more than that. I’m just not sure what. All I’m saying is that I can’t promise you anything. Right now I need to focus my energy on this situation with Kelly and Tyler. Let’s enjoy what we have right now.”

She threaded her fingers through the short strands of his hair. Now she felt like a selfish twit. The poor guy had so much resting on his shoulders, and all she could do was whine that he hadn’t confessed his undying love for her. Perhaps she was being too impatient. Perhaps her expectations were too high. Would it really be so bad to take things day by day? What felt like a lifetime with him had only been a few weeks. In that time, Brody had dealt with so much, and many things had changed in his life. Elisa’s mistake had not been taking that into consideration. She’d only been considering her own feelings.

“I know, it’s okay. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to add to your stress.”

He settled his entire weight on her, and Elisa reveled in his glorious body.

“Hey,” he said. “Don’t say sorry. You give me solitude in my deteriorating life. Don’t ever apologize for that.”

Her heart cracked open even more. “You deserve to be happy, Brody.”

“You make me happy.”

They held each other in her bed for a long while after that, talking about nonsense things and enjoying the silence.


Kelly wasn’t happy to see him. The thin line of tension pinching her eyebrows together was a dead giveaway. It was the same look he used to come home to after staying at the restaurant for two hours longer than necessary.

“Tyler’s still at school,” she said instead of saying hello. Brody figured he had that coming. “And he has football practice after that.”

“I know.” He stepped through the door without waiting for her to invite him in. If he waited for that pleasantry, he might be stuck outside all day. “I came here to talk about him, but I didn’t want him to be here.”

Kelly shut the door and merely stared at him. It wasn’t a friendly look.

“You’re the one who keeps saying we need to talk about this,” he reminded her. “I can go and we can put this off until later.”

She held up a hand and closed her eyes briefly. “No. Let’s do this now.”

Brody followed her down the hallway and into the great room. Kelly and Colin had a kickass view of the Wyoming foothills and always had front-row seats to impending snowstorms. But, for some reason, he never felt that the house suited Kelly’s personality. It was huge and oddly decorated. Like a contemporary log cabin. Almost as though the decorator Kelly had hired had bipolar disorder and couldn’t decide what theme to use. The house was the complete opposite from the one they had shared during their marriage. On the other hand, maybe that had been Kelly’s objective.

His ex-wife walked ahead of him and gathered several dishes from the table and carried them to the kitchen. The entire living/kitchen area smelled of the cinnamon candle that was burning on the center of the table. The scent always reminded Brody of his mother. She’d liked to keep cinnamon-scented pinecones scattered all over the house.

Kelly busied herself in the kitchen doing… whatever she always did in there. Brody always swore that Kelly spent more time in the kitchen than she did in their bed.

“Do you want something to drink?” she called from the other room.

“No, I’m fine,” he called back. Paperwork and open file folders were scattered without any sort of rhyme or reason all over the table. Next to some bank statements, which Brody tried not to look at, was a book called What to Expect When You’re Expecting. It was open to chapter five.

Shit, Kelly was pregnant?

A loud sigh came from the kitchen doorway. Brody glanced up to find Kelly scowling at him.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t see that,” she said.

He set the book back on the table. “You didn’t hide it very well. Congratulations,” he added.

“Thanks,” she muttered, then sat at the table with a glass of water.

Brody sat next to her, which was the only place that didn’t have clutter and shit nearby. “You don’t sound very happy.”

“No, I am.” She rubbed a hand across her brow. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind. Plus I’m really tired and sick to my stomach.”

He placed the book back on the table. “Why didn’t you want me to see?”

Kelly took a sip of her water. “Because Colin and I haven’t told anyone yet. We’re waiting for the right time. Then this thing with my mother happened, so right now I need to focus on her.”

“How long have you known?”

“About a month.”

For the first time Brody noticed the strain on Kelly’s face and the lines of fatigue that bracketed her mouth. Her eyelids looked heavy over her green eyes, like she hadn’t slept for months. Hell, she looked like she’d aged ten years since the last time he saw her.

He settled a comforting hand on her knee. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how much you were dealing with. And here I was being an insensitive prick.”

“It’s nothing I’m not used to,” she said with a half smile.

Wasn’t that the truth?

During their marriage, he’d never been good at giving Kelly the benefit of the doubt. She’d given up a lot for him, sacrificed everything that made her who she was for the sake of their family. Over the years, Brody had gotten so lost in the shuffle of everyday life that he hadn’t appreciated what she’d done until it had been too late. Then, after their marriage had ended, Kelly wouldn’t have given a good God damn how appreciative he’d been.