"Of course, but do it right away and call me back," he said, and gave me the telephone number. "Ruby, I love you and you love me and we should be together. Destiny has come to realize that, too. Who knows? Maybe your Grandmère Catherine's at work someplace in the hereafter or maybe Nina Jackson's cast a spell for us."

"I don't know, Beau. It's all happening so fast. It's complicated."

"Talk it over with Paul. It's right; it's good. It's what was meant to be, finally," he said.

After we hung up, I stood there, my heart still pounding very hard and quickly. The possibilities loomed before me as well as the dangers. I would have to assume my sister's identity, become Gisselle, but we were so unalike, really. Could I do it well enough to fool people and be with Beau forever? Love, if it's strong enough, I thought, gives you the power to do things beyond your imagination. Maybe this was true for us now.

I took a deep breath and then returned to the study and told Paul what had happened and what Beau had proposed. He sat there with amazing calm and listened as I gushed the story and the fantastic proposal. Then he got up and went to the window. He stood there for the longest time.

"You'll never stop loving him," he muttered bitterly. "I was a fool to think otherwise. If I only had listened to my mother . . ." He sighed deeply and turned.

"I can't help the way I feel about him, Paul."

He nodded and looked very thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe you have to live with him to see what sort of a man he really is. Maybe then you'll understand the difference between him and me."

"Paul, I love you for what you've done for Pearl and me and your devotion to me, but we've been living only half a marriage. Besides, we once agreed that if either of us could have someone else, someone we loved and could have a full relationship with, the other would not prevent it."

He nodded. "What a dreamer I was when I made those vows with you on your Grandmère Catherine's gallery. Oh well," he continued with a wry smile, "I'll finally be able to do something that will make you truly happy." His eyes suddenly brightened with an additional thought. "Even more than you and Beau would expect." He paused, his face tight with determination.

"What?" I asked, breathlessly.

"When you call Beau, tell him we'll bring Gisselle here," he said.

"What?"

"He's right. What difference will anything make to her now? You and I will go to the ranch after lunch tomorrow. I have some important business to conduct. We'll pretend we're going for a short holiday and then I will return with Gisselle and give out the story that it is you who have suffered the encephalitis. I'll fix a comfortable place for her upstairs and we'll have nurses around the clock. Since she has lapses of memory and is confused and semiconscious most of the time, it won't be difficult."

"You would do that for me?" I asked, incredulous.

He smiled. "I love you that much, Ruby. Maybe now you'll really understand."

"But I can't do this to you, Paul. It would be too hard and unfair."

"It's nothing. In this big house, I wouldn't even notice the arrangements," he said.

"I don't mean only that. You have a life to live, too," I insisted.

"And I will. In my own way. Go on, call Beau."

He had such a strange look in his eyes. I sensed that he believed this would somehow bring me back to him someday. Whatever his reasons, it certainly made our switch of identities far more possible.

I turned to call Beau and then stopped, realizing the biggest problem of all.

"We can't do this, Paul. It's impossible."

"Why?"

"Pearl!" I said. "If I'm Gisselle, what happens to her?"

Paul thought a moment and then nodded. "With you supposedly seriously ill and with our nanny gone to care for her own family, I will take her to live with her aunt and uncle until the ordeal at Cypress Woods ends. For the time being, it will serve as a good cover story."

I was overwhelmed with his quick thinking. "Oh, Paul, I don't deserve this kindness and sacrifice. I really don't," I cried.

He smiled coolly. "You'll come visit your sick sister from time to time, won't you?" he asked, and I understood that in this strange way, he hoped to keep me tied to him.

"Of course, although Gisselle wouldn't care."

"Be careful," he warned with another grin. "Don't be too nice or people will say . . . what's come over her? She's not herself these days."

"Yes," I said, realizing how great the challenge ahead of me was. I had very little confidence in myself. For now, I would have to be happy with only desire, the desire to be with Beau as his wife forever. Maybe that was enough. For Pearl's sake and mine, I prayed it was.


Book Two

11

  Nothing Ventured

Beau was very excited and happy about Paul's proposal, but I was troubled by Paul's willingness to be part of this. What was he thinking? What was he hoping would happen as a result? I tossed and turned all night, haunted by the things that could go wrong and expose our deception. Once that happened, people would want to know more, and then the truth about Paul and me with all the sins of the past would be revealed. Not only would Pearl and I be disgraced, but the Tates would be devastated. The risks were enormous. I was sure Paul understood them as well as I did, but he was determined to remain tied to me, even in this bizarre fashion.

When I awoke in the morning, I thought it had all been a dream until Paul knocked on my door and poked his head in to tell me we would leave for the Dumas country home a little after two. He estimated the ride to the ranch would take us close to three hours. A ripple of apprehension shot down my spine. I rose and started to make preparations. My body actually trembled as I moved about, thinking about what I would and wouldn't take.

Since my taste in clothing and Gisselle's was different, I realized I had to leave most of my things behind, but I decided to take the jewelry and the mementoes that were most precious to me. I packed as many of Pearl's things as I could without drawing any suspicions. After all, we were supposed to be going away for only a few days.

As I folded Pearl's things into her small suitcase, I thought how strange it was going to be for me to pretend I was only her aunt and not her mother. Fortunately, Pearl was still young enough so that when she called me Mommy, people would only assume she was confused. I would say that it was easier to let her do so for now. What I dreaded was later when she was old enough to understand it all, because then I would have to tell her the truth as to why her father and I had done this and why I took my sister's name. I couldn't help worrying about how it might change the way she thought of us.

I spent the morning wandering about Cypress Woods with Pearl, drinking it all in as though I would never see any of it again. I knew whenever I did return, it would look different to me since I had to think of it no longer as my home, but as my sister's home, a place to visit and a place I supposedly disliked. I would have to behave as though the bayou were as foreign as China to me, for that was the way Gisselle reacted to it.

I thought that would be the hardest thing to do: pretend to hate the bayou. No matter how I practiced, I was sure I couldn't be very convincing about that. Surely my heart would not permit me to mock and complain about the world in which I had grown and the world I had loved all my life.

While Pearl was taking her nap, I went up to my studio to store the things I wanted to protect from time and inattention. As my sister, Gisselle, I would have to do any drawing and painting secretly. Once the news got out that Ruby was an invalid, semiconscious and mentally impaired, the new paintings could no longer be delivered to the art gallery, but I took solace in the fact that I wasn't doing them so much for the fame and money as I was for my own inner satisfaction.

Paul returned home for lunch, which was hard for both of us. Neither of us came right out and said it, but we knew this was the last meal we would sit down to as man and wife. It was important that we didn't act too differently in front of our servants. Nevertheless, every other moment it seemed we were both gazing across the table at each other as if we had just met and neither knew how to begin a sentence. Tension made us overly polite toward each other. Twice we started simultaneously.

"Go on," he said again.

"No, you go on this time," I insisted.

"I wanted to assure you I would see that the studio is kept clean. Maybe you and Beau will vacation here and you can slip up there and do some work, if you like. I'll just say the work was completed before Ruby became so sick."

I nodded, although I didn't think that would ever happen. Despite the fact that it was Gisselle who had contracted St Louis encephalitis and not me, it made me feel strange to talk about myself as the one who was seriously ill. I quickly envisioned everyone's initial reactions, reactions I wouldn't see because I would be already gone. I expected Paul's sisters would be very upset. His mother would probably be overjoyed, but I did think his father would be sad, for we had gotten along quite well despite Gladys Tate's feelings toward me. The servants would take it hard. I was sure there would be tears.

As soon as the news was spread throughout the bayou, all the people who knew me would feel terrible. Many of Grandmère Catherine's friends would go to church and light a candle for me. As I imagined these scenes, one after the other, I felt a sense of guilt for causing all this sorrow based on a grand deception and I began to wilt in my seat.