“He did and so did you, and you know it.” She turned away from them then, with her back to them, and sobbed, but Brad didn't dare approach her. She turned back to face her mother then with a look of outrage. “I spent years trying to get over it, trying to heal myself of what you'd done …and I could have lived with your telling me how sorry you were, how terrible you felt …but how can you try to pretend it never happened?”

Alexis wandered into the kitchen with absolutely no idea of what was going on. She had been calling David from her bedroom.

“Do you mind making me some camomile?” she asked Page sweetly, who let out a groan of disbelief as she leaned against the counter.

“I don't believe you. The two of you. You've spent so many years hiding from the truth that you can't face anything. You can't even open a fucking bottle of water for yourself. How can you live like that? How can you do this to yourselves?”

Alexis looked suddenly terrified as she looked around at them. “I'm sorry …I …never mind …”

“Here!” Page tossed a bottle of Evian at her and she caught it. “Mom was just telling me how Daddy never fucked either of us when we were kids. Remember that, Alex? Or have you had a memory lapse too? Remember when you shoved me at him so he wouldn't do it to you anymore? Remember that?” She looked at both of them miserably. “He did it until I was sixteen and threatened to call the police on him, which neither of you would ever have had the courage to do. How could you do that for him? How could you help him?” She was sobbing by then. “I could never understand that.” Especially once she had children, and Brad felt sick listening to her. He knew about it, but he had never heard her talk about it so bluntly, or confront them with it.

“How could you say a thing like that?” Alexis looked terrified. “Daddy was a doctor.”

“Yeah,” Page said through her tears. “I used to think that made a difference too, but it didn't, did it? It took me years to even go to a doctor after that. I always thought I'd be molested or raped. I didn't even go to the doctor half the time when I was pregnant, I was so afraid of what would happen. He was a great guy, our Dad, a wonderful man, a terrific doctor.”

“He was a saint,” Maribelle Addison said protectively, “and you know it.” Alexis had moved instinctively closer to her, and the two women were huddled together, and it was clear that they were never going to admit what had happened.

“You know what's sad?” Page said, looking at them. “You disappeared after all that, Alex. You married David at eighteen, and you got a new identity, new face, new boobs, new eyes, new everything, so you didn't have to be Alexis anymore. You could be someone else so you could pretend it never happened.” Alexis made not a sound as she listened. It was too threatening to her, now more than ever.

“Come on,” Brad said quietly to Page, sorry that it had happened. Too much had happened to her lately. “Don't do this to yourself.”

“No?” She turned to look at him. “Why not? Do you think I can pretend it never happened, like they do? Maybe I should do that with you too, pretend you're not out every night screwing around, pretend everything is wonderful and perfect. What a nice life …except that I would kill myself if I tried to do that. I haven't lived this long, and come this far, and suffered this much in order to pretend I believe in a lot of bullshit.”

“Maybe other people can't handle that much honesty. Did you ever think of that?” he said sadly.

“A lot.”

“They need places to hide in.”

“I can't live like that, Brad.”

“I know,” he said softly, “I always loved that about you.” But he had said it in the past tense and she had heard it.

Her mother and sister escaped from the kitchen then, and Page stood there for a moment trying to catch her breath as he watched her. “Are you all right?” He was worried about her, but he also knew that he couldn't give her what she needed. He didn't have it to give her anymore. That was just the way it was. And for once, it was honest.

“I don't know,” she said honestly. “I guess I'm glad I said it. I've always wondered if she has denial and she believes all that shit, or she just lies, to cover up for him, like she did then.”

“Maybe it doesn't matter. She's never going to admit the truth to you, Page, and neither is Alexis. You know that. Don't expect it.” She nodded. It had been a terrible night, but in some ways it had freed her. She went outside to sit alone for a while, and then she decided to go to the hospital to see Allyson. It was late, but all of a sudden she needed to see her. She told Brad before she went out, and she was sitting quietly in ICU a few minutes later. This time, she didn't say anything. She just sat there, thinking of everything Allyson had been before the accident, and missing her. It had been three weeks now.

“Mrs. Clarke, are you all right?” One of the night nurses noticed her at nine o'clock. She looked shaken and pale, and she was sitting so still, just staring at her daughter. Page nodded, and just sat there, until Trygve came by half an hour later.

“I wondered if you were here.” He spoke softly amidst the whirring and puffing of the machines. “I don't know why, I just had a feeling you were. I've been thinking about you.” He smiled, but then he noticed her eyes. She looked terrible, and she looked as though she'd been crying. “Are you okay?”

“More or less.” She shrugged with a tired smile. “I kind of lost it tonight.”

“Did it help?”

“I'm not sure. Not really. It won't change anything, but I got a lot off my chest.”

“Then maybe it was worth it.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” She didn't seem sure as she looked at him, and he saw again that she looked ravaged. Allyson was the same, so he knew she hadn't had bad news about her. It was everything else.

“Want to come have a cup of coffee?” She shrugged again, but she followed him out as the nurse watched them. She felt so sorry for her. It had been a long haul, and so far there wasn't much hope her daughter would get any better. She hated cases like that, they were so hard on everyone, especially when it involved kids. Sometimes, she thought to herself, it was simpler if you lost them. But she never would have said that to the parents.

He handed her a cup of coffee from a machine, and she still hadn't said anything. He was getting more and more worried about her. They sat down in the ICU waiting room and her eyes looked huge in her face, and bluer than he had ever seen them.

“What's happening?” he asked gently as she took a slow sip of the hot coffee.

“I don't know … I guess it's all getting to me …Allie …Brad …my mother….”

“Did something happen?” He was trying to figure it out and she wasn't giving him any clues, but he wanted so much to help her.

“Nothing that hasn't happened before. My mother was playing never-never land, just like she always does, and I went nuts, I guess.” She smiled at him and looked a little embarrassed. “Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do, but I didn't have any choice at the time. I told her that Brad and I were in trouble, which was dumb of me, and she talked about my father.” She wasn't sure how to tell him, and he was afraid to ask her. “My father and I …” she began, and then stopped and took another sip of coffee. “We …uh …had a pretty strange relationship.” She closed her eyes for a long moment then, and started to cry as she explained it to him. She hadn't really wanted to tell him, and yet she wanted to now. She wanted to be honest with him, and she knew it was safe to tell him anything.

“It's all right, Page,” he sensed easily how miserable she was, “you don't have to say anything if you don't want to.”

“No,” she looked up at him, through her tears, “I want to. I'm not afraid to tell you …” She took a breath and went on, “We …uh …he …uh …molested me when I was thirteen …actually he slept with me …he …uh …had intercourse with me, when I was thirteen … it went on for a long time …until I was sixteen …and my mother knew it. Actually,” she seemed to choke on the words, “she forced me to …he'd been sleeping with Alexis for four years before that …my mother was afraid of him. He was a very sick man, and he used to beat her, and she let him. She said we had to 'keep him happy' so he wouldn't hurt us …she used to bring him in to me, and then lock the door behind him.” Page was sobbing as he took her in his arms.

“My God, Page …how awful …how sick …” He would have killed anyone who had done that to his daughter.

“I know. It's taken me years to get over it. I left when I was seventeen. I worked as a waitress to pay for an apartment. My mother said that was a terrible thing to do, that I had betrayed them …I had broken his heart, she said …when he died, for a while, I actually thought I'd killed him.

“Eventually, I met Brad in New York, and we got married and came out here. I found a good therapist, and I made my peace with it. But she's still trying to pretend it never happened. That's what got me so upset. I don't understand how she can do that. I've never understood any of it …how she could know he was doing that, and still pretend that he was decent …she called him a saint tonight, and it made me sick.”

“No wonder you lost it,” he said soberly as he listened. He was stroking her hair, and holding her as she talked, just as she did to Allie. “I'm amazed you even see her.”

“I try not to most of the time, but with Allie's accident it was hard not to let her come out. I knew I shouldn't, but I always think I can play the game with her. The trouble is I just can't. Every time I see her it reminds me of when I was thirteen …she hasn't changed …and neither has Alexis.”

“How did she get out of it?”