“You can't let yourself think that. We had no reason to suspect them. They'd never done anything like this before, and you can't play cop constantly. We trusted them, that's not a crime, and their lie wasn't so terrible either. Other kids have done the same thing. It was just the result that was so terrible, but who could have known that?”

“Brad thinks I should have.”

“So does Dana. But it's just talk. They need someone to blame, so we're it. You can't take it to heart. He's upset. He doesn't know what to say probably, or who to rail at.”

“Maybe,” she said, and she was quiet for a long time, as she remembered the statistics she'd often read about what accidents to children, or their deaths, did to destroy a marriage. If there was a crack in it somewhere, it would surely break. And their marriage apparently had a crack in it the size of the Grand Canyon. “Actually,” she said quietly, surprising him with her next remark, “things aren't going too well with me and Brad.” She wasn't sure why she was telling him, but she had to tell someone. She had never felt as alone or as miserable in her life, and there was no one else she wanted to talk to. She knew she had to call her mother one of these days to tell her about Allie, but she wasn't ready to do that yet. She needed time to adjust to what was happening herself, before she took on her mother in New York. It was just more than she could handle right then. Everything was, except being at the hospital, sitting with Allyson, or talking to Trygve. “Brad and I …” She started to say the words, and then found she couldn't.

“You don't have to explain, Page.” Trygve tried to make it easier for her. “No one would have an easy time with this. I was just sitting here thinking that Dana and I would never have survived it.” In fact, he still couldn't believe that even after he'd called her, she had decided not to come to see her daughter. She had accused him of negligence, but she didn't want to fly all the way to San Francisco to see Chloe. She just hoped she'd be well enough to meet her in Europe in the summer. She was definitely not a woman he admired, or even a decent mother. He could only wonder how he had stayed married to her for twenty years. Sometimes he felt like a total fool, when he thought about it, but he also knew that for the past several years he had stayed with her so as not to disrupt the children.

Page tried to explain what was happening to them. “Our problem doesn't have anything to do with the accident. It just happens to have come to light right now, in the midst of all this.” She was cryptic, but it was obvious that she was deeply upset about something that had happened with her husband. Maybe an affair, he thought, he had a lot of experience with those, and their impact on a relationship. But that didn't seem likely. Brad had never seemed the type to be unfaithful.

“You can't judge anything in a crisis.”

“Why not? What if it's real? What if nothing is the way I thought it was for all these years? What if it's all been a lie?”

“If it is, you'll know it later. Don't judge anything right now. Neither of you is in any condition to think straight.”

“How do you know that?” she asked worriedly. She had a lot to think about, and in some ways the hospital was a great place to do it.

“I have a lot of experience with difficult relationships, and things that aren't what they seem. Believe me, I know what I'm saying. But I also know that everything is upside down right now. You can't hold each other accountable for what you do or say, or the way you react. Look at you, you're exhausted, you haven't eaten decently or slept in two days. Your child almost died. You're completely traumatized. Who wouldn't be? So am I … so is Brad … so are our other children…. Do you really trust your own reactions right now? Hell, I'm afraid to order groceries, I'd probably order bird food for the dog, and dog food for the kids. Listen …give yourself a break. Try not to think about anything right now. Just try to get through this.”

“I didn't realize you did marriage counseling.” She smiled, and he laughed.

“I only know it from worst case. If anything good happens, don't consult me,”

“Was it that bad?” Somehow they felt like old friends now and he still had his arm around her shoulders.

“Worse.” But he was smiling as he said it. “I think we probably had one of the worst marriages in history. I think I've finally recovered, but it's made me damn scared to try it again.” She remembered what Allyson had said on Saturday afternoon, that he never went out with anyone, and Page was sorry for him. He was a very attractive man, intelligent, and a nice one.

“Maybe you just need more time,” she said sympathetically, and he laughed out loud.

“Yeah, like another forty or fifty years. I'm in no hurry to make the same mistakes again, and make myself and my children miserable. I'm taking it very easy in the meantime. They deserve a lot better than they had, and so do I. It's just not easy to find it.”

“Maybe once you stop being scared, you'll find it more easily,” she said gently.

“Maybe, but I'm not holding my breath. I'm happy like this, and so are my kids. That means everything to me, Page. It's a lot better to be alone, than to be with the wrong woman.”

“Maybe. I don't know. I've been married to the same man since I was twenty-three. I always thought everything was perfect, and suddenly the bottom dropped out of everything. I don't know what to think, or who I'm married to. Things have gotten very confused.” And all in a matter of days, hours, minutes.

“Remember what I said,” he warned again, “don't judge anything in the midst of a crisis.”

“Maybe not,” she said quietly, surprised that she was willing to tell him so much about her life. But what she had learned from Brad had shaken her to the core, she needed to talk to someone, and she trusted Trygve. She wasn't sure why, but she did, implicitly. In the past forty-eight hours, he had been there as no other friend would have. Even Brad had let her down. But Trygve had been there, and crisis or not, she knew she wouldn't forget it.

It was almost midnight by then. They had talked for a long time, and gone into ICU several times, to check on Allyson and Chloe. Chloe was asleep, and Allyson was still unconscious. Trygve was thinking about going home, when the resident came out to find Page, and explained that Allyson was having complications. The brain swelling that they had feared had begun to occur, and she was experiencing a lot of pressure on the wound, and her skull. This was the “third injury” they had warned her about, and the resident explained that they were afraid of blood clots.

Trygve volunteered to stay at the hospital with her, the head of the surgical team came, and Allyson began to experience further difficulties. With the swelling, her blood pressure had risen, and her pulse had slowed, and the doctor didn't like the way she was looking. By one o'clock, it looked as though she might not make it. Page couldn't believe it was happening. She had been stable only an hour before …but on the other hand, two days before that, she had been normal. Life had a way of changing a hundred and eighty degrees without a moment's warning.

By the time the rest of the surgical team came, Page had tried to call Brad several times, but the answering machine was on, and he didn't pick up. Finally, in desperation she asked Trygve to call Jane Gilson, and have her go over and wake Brad up. She could stay with Andy so Brad could leave. But when Trygve came back from the phone, he only shook his head and delivered Jane's message. Brad had never come to pick Andy up at all. The boy was sound asleep in her bed, and she had no idea where Brad was. He had never called her.

“He never called?” Page looked stunned. How could he do that now, with everything happening, and after all he'd said? What was he thinking of? His sex life, or his daughter?

“She said she never heard from him. I'm sorry, Page.” He took her hand in his, and knew then that what he had suspected was probably right. Brad Clarke probably was having an affair, or maybe he was just getting drunk, to take the strain off. And his timing was certainly lousy. Trygve felt sorry for Page, who seemed to be carrying this responsibility all alone. But nothing surprised him anymore. He had seen and lived it all with Dana. “Don't worry about it,” he reassured her, as they waited for the doctors to evaluate Al-lie. “He'll turn up. And there's nothing he can do here anyway. None of us can.” But he could have been there, as she was, and Trygve was for Chloe. “Not everyone can handle this, you know. I used to get sick at the thought of hospitals.”

“So what changed?”

“My kids. I had to do it for them, because Dana never did. Brad has you, so he knows Allie's in good hands.” He smiled gently at her, making excuses for Brad that he didn't deserve, and Page knew it. And who was there for her? If Trygve hadn't stuck around, she would have been alone. She assumed that Brad was probably with his girlfriend. But she still didn't know where to find him.

The doctors came back and talked to them again eventually. Allyson had stabilized somewhat again, but she was still clearly in danger. The swelling of her brain was not a good sign, and could have been a sign of further injury, or a result of the surgery on Sunday. It was difficult to tell, but they didn't want to raise false hopes. They felt there was a good chance now that Allyson might not make it.

“You mean now?” Page said, looking terrified. “Tonight?” Was that what they meant? That she was about to die …oh God no …please …when they allowed her to, she hurried in to see her, and sat silently next to the bed, as tears poured down her face, and she held the girl's hand, as though by keeping a firm grip on her she might keep her from drifting off, or finally leaving them after all she'd been through.