T. Leigh - A Tragic Wreck

“When are you going to do it?” Mo asked, ever the practical one.

“I was thinking about just heading over to his office today,” Olivia said, her heart racing at the thought of possibly seeing Alexander that day.

“Great,” Kiera said excitedly. “Have you thought about what you’re going to wear?”

Olivia laughed. “No. I haven’t thought about that yet.”

Kiera stood up and grabbed her hand. “We’ll be back later, Mo. Girl thing.” She dragged her out of the house and, within a few minutes, they were on their way back into the city.

“So, what’s the deal with you and Mo?” Olivia asked. “I noticed something a little different between you two. Come on. What’s the status?”

“Status?” Kiera asked, a look of disgust on her face. “I’m not one for labels. Just, suffice it to say, he’s my one-way ticket to pound town, okay?”

Olivia laughed, happy to be back home.

WITHIN A FEW HOURS, Kiera had successfully helped Olivia find a new outfit to wear when she confronted Alexander. Their last stop was a swanky shoe boutique on Newbury Street. Boston was flooded with tourists still milling about in the city after celebrating the New Year. Shops were packed, and there was a chill in the air that Olivia had missed when she lived in Florida. The gray clouds made it feel like the sky would open up at any second and cover the city with a fluffy blanket of snow.

“I don’t know, Kiera. I don’t think I really need another pair of shoes. Have you seen my closet?”

Kiera stared at her friend, indignant. “Of course I have, and I’m incredibly jealous. However, never underestimate the power of a pair of shoes. Cinderella is living proof that a pair of shoes can change your life.”

Olivia wrinkled her nose. “I’m not so sure Cinderella could be classified as ‘living proof’. Aren’t you in publishing?”

“Yeah. I read that somewhere. Isn’t it a great quote?” Kiera laughed.

Olivia ended up buying the shoes because her friend was right. She wanted to face Alexander feeling the best she possibly could, given the circumstances. The shoes were pricey, but she had missed Christmas so she considered them a gift to herself.

The girls got back to Olivia’s house and Kiera helped her friend get ready. She put on her tight black sweater dress and accented it with a thin red belt. Then she pulled on the overpriced black leather boots.

“Hot!” Kiera announced when Olivia walked downstairs. “You look fucking smoking!”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence. Want to give me a ride?” Olivia asked, butterflies forming in her stomach.

“Okay. Come on.”

A short ten minutes later, Kiera pulled up outside the office building in the Financial District. She turned to her friend. “Nervous?”

“A little,” Olivia responded, fidgeting with her coat. “He might not even be here.”

“Well, at least you’re giving it a shot.”

Olivia opened the car door, taking a deep breath, her hands shaking.

“Good luck, Libby. And, no matter what happens, I love you.”

She smiled. “Thanks, Care Bear.”

Olivia’s heart began to beat rapidly as she walked into her old work building. She made her way across the large lobby toward the turnstiles, unsure of whether she would actually be able to follow through with what she had planned.

“Olivia! You’re back!” Jerry shouted as she swiped her keycard through the turnstiles.

“Yeah. For now, at least.”

“Hey. Are you okay? It looks like you lost a lot of weight. And you didn’t have it to lose.” He looked at her, the concern apparent on his face.

“I’m fine, Jerry. Don’t worry about me,” she said dryly.

Olivia hit the call button for the elevator and one arrived almost immediately. She pressed the button for the top floor, sliding the extra key card Alexander had given her months ago into the slot. She gasped when it actually worked. Within a few seconds, the doors opened and she walked out into the reception area in front of Alexander’s office.

His secretary jumped up almost immediately. “Oh, Miss Adler. How are you?” She ran over to Olivia, taking her coat and hanging it up in the closet.

“Fine, thank you. I was wondering if Alexander is around and available. I only need a few moments of his time.”

“Oh, of course. Mr. Burnham had mentioned you might stop by.”

Arrogant bastard, Olivia thought to herself.

“He is in a meeting right now, but has instructed that you are welcome to wait in his office. He should be out within the next ten minutes.” She walked over to the large glass door and buzzed Olivia in.

“Thank you.” Olivia walked down the long corridor leading to Alexander’s office. She heard voices on the opposite side of the hallway coming from the conference room, and stopped dead in her tracks when Alexander’s voice echoed through the room. Could she really go through with this? Just hearing his voice again made her heart ache.

Opening the door to his office, thousands of memories came rushing back. The first night she met him. How he gently took care of her after Simon attacked her. The numerous times during their brief courtship that he summoned her upstairs and all the things they would do on his couch.

She walked over to the sitting area and ran her fingers across the back of the large couch. “A lot of great memories on that couch,” a voice said, interrupting her thoughts. She spun around, her heart dropping to her stomach. Alexander stood in the doorway, wearing a crisp black suit and a green tie.

“Oh my god, Olivia. Are you okay? Is something wrong?” He rushed toward her, wrapping his arms around her, electricity coursing through her body. “Are you sick or something?” Alexander took in the sight of her. She had lost too much weight. He wondered whether she had eaten at all over the past few months. And he felt partly responsible.

Tears fell from her eyes at the concerned sound in his voice. “Why does everyone ask me that?”

Alexander released his hold on her, stepping back to look at her. “Because you don’t look like yourself, Olivia. You look…upset.”

“Well, you could say that,” she replied, glancing around the room, trying to hide her eyes from him.

“Here. Have a seat.” He led her to the love seat across from the couch and helped her sit down before he took his place next to her.

“So, what is it that I can do for you today?” he asked very matter-of-factly. Mr. Businessman was back.

Olivia took a deep breath and straightened her spine, looking for the inner strength to tell him what she had come there to say. “This is kind of hard for me to say so, please, just let me get it all out before you interrupt me.”

“Okay.” He nodded.

“Here goes nothing.” She turned toward him. “Alex, I fucked up. I know that now. I pushed you away because it’s what I do. Or did. I got scared because I was getting so close to you. And I knew that, at some point, you wouldn’t be able to put up with all my craziness anymore. I thought I would never be able to make you truly happy and that killed me. I cared about you so much that I hated myself for doing that to you. So I figured I would push you away, which was the most difficult thing I ever had to do.” She took a deep breath as she stared into his green eyes. “That last morning in Newport…” she said softly.

“On the yacht?” Alexander interrupted, his voice trembling.

“I needed you one more time. I was so addicted to your body, and the thought of never being able to feel you inside of me again broke me apart.”

“So that was you saying good-bye then?” he asked, his eyes meeting hers before she looked away.

“It was the only way I knew how,” she replied, staring at her fingers.

“Look at me, Olivia.”

She obeyed, lifting her water-filled eyes to meet his.

“I knew there was something different that morning, but I never would have guessed that you would be running from me. I had a feeling you were slipping away from me, but I thought we got that spark back after the race. You say you thought I could never be happy with you. That wasn’t your decision to make. I was so deliriously happy with you, Olivia,” he said quietly, his voice full of hurt. “And I knew you were going through some issues. I was more than willing to be patient with you while you worked through those, but you pushed me away. Twice.”

“I know!” she exclaimed, clearly agitated. She took a deep breath. “Just let me finish,” she pleaded.

Alexander nodded. “Okay.”

“When I first arrived in Florida, every morning I woke up hoping, in the back of my mind, that you would show up on my doorstep, begging for me to come back. And then I met Cam and I thought he would be the perfect person to help dull the pain because I felt nothing for him. And nothing was better than the hurt. When you confronted me…god, Alexander. It took all my willpower to not melt into your arms. When you found me, I was secretly thrilled. You’re right. My body did betray me. I’ve never felt as fulfilled or complete as I did with you. You’re the only one that gives me an orgasm so intense that I feel my entire world shake, and it scared me all over again. So I lied. I told you what you needed to hear to leave me alone.”

Olivia stared into Alexander’s intense green eyes, tears beginning to fall down both their faces. “I’m so sorry, Alexander. I took the coward’s way out. I pushed you away to prevent myself from being hurt. But, in the end, I was the one who hurt myself. I experienced inexplicable pain. And then I saw all those photos of you with another woman and heard about your engagement, and I shut down. I tried to shut everything off. Because that pain, Alex…” her voice trailed off, her chin trembling. She took another steadying breath. “That pain is worse than anything I have ever experienced. Knowing that you’re with someone else is tearing me apart.” Tears continued to fall down Olivia’s face.