“We have to sing our song,” he said with a grin. I halfheartedly pulled against his grip as I shook my head, unable to keep the smile from my face. In this moment, I knew two things. It was wrong for me to sing a song about my feelings for E when I knew Derek was out in that crowd somewhere, and there was no way I could say no as E looked at me expectantly. I nodded once and E pulled me into his arms for a quick hug. He grabbed a guitar from Danny and perched himself on the edge of a stool. I stood by his side with a mic in hand as my heart raced.

E began to strum the guitar as he looked up to me. His voice was low and haunting as he began to sing.

The flames lick at my fingertips as I’m drawn to the fire,

I want to run but I’m consumed by the overwhelming desire . . .

I joined him, singing the next several lines, his eyes never leaving mine. I wanted this song to last forever, and that is when I remembered we had never written the ending. But E looked calm and completely at ease as we sang through the chorus. He continued the song after what we had written together, and I could only stand there in front of thousands of people while he told me everything he was feeling.

My heart skips from your glance and I can’t look away,

You’ll break me but take me, there’s no other way,

Life on the road, babe, I’m a rolling stone,

No matter where life takes us, you’ll always be my home.

We sang through the chorus one last time, and it took everything inside me to keep my voice from shaking. The crowd erupted in applause, but all I could hear was the thudding of my heart in my ears. E stood, guitar in hand, and pulled me into his arms. I felt safe and I knew he would always be home for me, too. I glanced out over the people below the stage, and my eyes locked on Derek’s. His expression was a mixture of anger and pain, and it physically hurt me to see that look. It was the same look that had echoed on my face when he had cheated on me so long ago. I pulled back from E, not able to look to him and see the hurt in his eyes. This was what Cass had warned me about. This was what I had been trying to avoid. I could barely breathe around the lump that had formed in my throat as I ran off the stage, leaving E standing alone. I screamed Derek’s name while shoving through the fans to get to him so I could explain, but he was gone.


THE NIGHT WAS slowly winding down and I hated that I would soon have to go back to the hotel and find out if I had been abandoned by Derek or if he would be waiting for me. I wasn’t sure which I preferred, and I felt horrible for even feeling that way.

I didn’t know what I would do if he was gone. Without the band I had no one. My mother was only a few hours away, but that was never an option. I hadn’t spoken to her in years.

I tried to keep a smile on my face, but I was cracking. I needed to see Derek so I could find out where we stood. I felt as if I were being taken to my execution as we made our way to the limo. The twins talked animatedly about all the women they had hit on at the concert, Cass and Tucker were whispering to each other, and Donna was debating bands with E. I was completely alone, surrounded by my friends. I stared off toward the heavily tinted windows, but it was nighttime and I couldn’t see anything besides an occasional streetlight. I ran my hand over the black leather seat beside me, tracing the stitching with my fingertip. Derek should have been at my side.

“You okay?” E’s voice cut through my thoughts, and I glanced up at him. He was sitting low in his seat, his hands behind his head, eyes locked on me. Donna was busy playing with her phone and didn’t seem to care that he was watching me. I knew my running off the stage had hurt him, but I wasn’t ready to deal with that now. I couldn’t handle much more of any of this.

“I’m fine.” I smiled, mask in place. I looked back toward the window knowing damn well E could see through my lies. Maybe I should have told Derek I would leave for Texas early with him. What was stopping me? He was finally making the commitment and I was telling him to wait.

We pulled up outside the hotel and I was becoming increasingly nervous. I had no idea what I would do if he wasn’t inside.

No one spoke as we rode the elevator to our floor. Everyone parted ways as we hit the third floor, but I lingered behind, not wanting anyone to see if Derek had left. I watched as everyone paired off, except for E and Donna. He walked her to her door and told her good-night before walking past me to his room. He paused outside his door, staring at me. I slid in my card and pushed the door open and walked inside.

It was empty and I wanted to scream, but I saw Derek’s bag still on the floor. He hadn’t left the state, but he sure as hell hadn’t come back here. I pulled out my phone and dialed his number. It rang and rang until his voice mail picked up. I hung up and tossed my phone on the bed. I jumped at the sound of a soft knock on the open door behind me and spun around.

“You still okay?” E asked, his head cocked to the side.

“Yeah.” I smiled, trying to hide my sadness. “He didn’t leave. His bags are here.”

“But he’s not?”

“No.” I looked over at his bag on the floor.

“Yeah, I didn’t think he would be.”

“He’s not that guy anymore.” I hated defending him, especially to E.

My phone rang and I jumped again, grabbing it off the bed. “It’s Derek.”

E just nodded and pulled the door to my room closed as I answered. I was relieved he had left me alone because I had no idea how Derek was going to act. I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Hey.” I tried to sound cheery.

“You alone?” Derek’s words were slurred and it sounded as if he was in a bar or a club.

“Of course. I just got back. I’m glad you didn’t leave.”

“Why would I leave? I paid for the room.” His voice was cold and it felt as if I had been punched in the stomach, but I deserved it.

“I’m sorry . . . about earlier. I do want to meet your family.”

“Yeah? I’m leaving day after tomorrow. I want you with me.”

“I will be.”

“I love you so much, Sarah.”

“I love you, too.”

He hung up the phone and I leaned against the wall as I thought about having to leave all of my friends. I knew I wouldn’t get to see them again for a long time, and it killed me.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

ERIC

I LAY IN MY bed recounting the night. It made me ill to think of anyone ever hurting Sarah, and I knew in time Derek would break her heart again. She was already so fragile there was no telling what it would do to her. When I saw him below the stage, I knew things were only going to get worse for her.

The phone rang next to my bed and I ignored it, but whoever it was called back immediately. I reluctantly pulled myself from my thoughts and picked up the receiver.

“Hey,” Sarah said with a loud sigh.

“You okay?”

She laughed and I could picture her shaking her head. “I’m fine. You don’t always need to ask me that.”

“I just don’t want you to be upset.”

“I’m going to Texas, E,” she blurted out. I ran my hand over my jaw as I let that sink in once again.

“When?”

“Day after tomorrow. It’s for the best.”

“For who?” I couldn’t hide my anger.

“We’ve already been through this.”

“But things have changed.”

“Nothing’s changed, E. I shouldn’t have told him I wouldn’t go.”

“Is he there?”

“No. He probably won’t be for a while. I think he was partying.”

I hung up and made my way to her room. I was only wearing my jeans and I didn’t bother to put on a shirt. I needed to say a proper good-bye. Once Derek was back, I knew he wouldn’t let me have a moment alone with her and he was right not to.

I knocked on her door, running my hand over my hair as I waited for her to answer. She pulled the door open slowly, her sad eyes meeting mine.

“You can’t leave.”

“E,” she sighed, and shook her head slowly, her hair falling around her face.

I stepped around her, slamming the door behind me and then pacing the floor of her room. “He is no good for you, Sarah.”

She followed me toward the bed, sitting down on the edge as I continued to walk the length of the room.

“I can’t just sit back and watch him hurt you anymore.”

“This hurts, E.”

I stopped and turned to look at her, saw the pain in her eyes. “Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?” I was trying to keep calm, but it was virtually impossible. She hung her head as her nails dug into her knees leaving tiny, red half-moon indents.

“You can’t do this. Don’t do to Donna what he’s done to me.”

I leaned down over Sarah, my hands on either side of her, pressing into the mattress. “I am nothing like him.”

“I know that.” Her voice was small. “I won’t be like him either. I’m taken, E. As long as he is faithful to me, I won’t go behind his back.”

“Faithful? You think just because I haven’t fucked you that you haven’t already cheated on Derek?”

Her hand cracked across my face and her nostrils flared in anger as she narrowed her eyes.

I stood up, running my hand over my cheek. “I shouldn’t have said that . . .”

She held up her hand to stop me from talking as she pushed from the bed. She walked around me and opened the door to the room, her head hung as she waited for me to leave.

“I will miss you . . . so much,” she said quietly.

I nodded, walking toward her, stopping just inches from her. She refused to look me in the eye. “I won’t try again, Sarah. If I walk out now, I’m done.”