“I guess this means we won’t be polishing each other’s fingernails tonight at the slumber party, right?” Natalia called out after her, then kicked the refrigerator.
TIM FORCED himself to take another bite of dinner, but only because Natalia was watching, her forehead puckered in a line of worry. He swallowed, hard, and managed a smile. “What is it?”
“An old family recipe.” She clasped her fingers together. “Do you like it?”
“Uh…” Everyone looked at him. “Well…I’ve never tasted anything quite like it.”
Sally snorted.
Natalia bit her lip.
Sally pushed her plate away. “Nick would have made chili.”
“Sally-”
“And looked damn good while doing it.”
“Nick?” Natalia asked.
“The guy I would have hired for the job,” Sally said.
Natalia looked down at her plate. “Chili. I hadn’t thought of that. Or that I’d taken a job from someone who needed it.”
“Nick has another job already,” Tim said.
“Oh, okay then.”
Seth leaned forward eagerly. “You know, chili is really easy, Natalia. I bet you could do it.”
Pete nodded hopefully.
“Well, it’s not really a gourmet thing, chili.” Natalia tilted her head and considered. “But…”
Tim poked at whatever was on his plate. “Is that what this is? Gourmet?”
“Of course.” Natalia set down her fork. “What did you think it was?”
He looked into her eyes. What did he think? That she looked very anxious, and not very tough, as she clearly wanted to be. That she was incredibly appealing looking at him like that.
That he couldn’t tell her everything she touched was inedible. “I…”
She pushed her plate away, looked aghast. “You didn’t know.” When he winced, she shook her head.
“Oh my God. You didn’t know. You thought I couldn’t cook.”
“Well-”
“No.” She stood up, looking mortified. “You thought…you just chalked it up to my craziness. Right? Oh, let poor Natalia alone. She thinks she’s a princess, she thinks she can cook, she thinks…” She shook her head again, covered her mouth. “Excuse me.”
She rose and stalked from the room in her denim and combat boots.
At the table, the men all turned accusing gazes on him. “Now you did it,” Pete whispered. “You hurt her feelings.”
“Yeah. Go fix it.” Red pointed to the door. “Go tell her it’s only you. Tell her we love everything she made.”
Sally rolled her eyes. “Oh, jeez. You guys are as pathetic as she is.”
“Hey, now, she never did anything to you,” Pete said. “Except maybe try hard.”
Tim sighed, tossed aside his napkin and stood. “I’ll talk to her.”
“Yeah, you’d better,” Pete said. “Go make it right.”
Everyone but Sally nodded, and Tim might have laughed if it wasn’t so damn touching. Every one of them was willing to eat the inedible, just to save Natalia’s feelings.
“Bunch of softies,” Sally muttered.
Tim had to agree. And with the exception of a certain of part of his anatomy that was rarely “soft” around Natalia, he was the biggest softie of all.
HE FOUND HER on the back deck, watching the moon. She leaned back against one of the wood posts, her hands behind her on the wood, her face hidden by shadows. But not her body, which was illuminated by the glow of the moon, appearing all long and curved and gorgeous.
It made no sense. In the jeans and T-shirt, covered now with an old opened flannel shirt of his, she should have looked ordinary. Plain.
But she took his breath. “You okay?”
“Sure. For a crazy lady.”
“Natalia-”
She didn’t look at him. “I know what you guys think of me.”
He moved into her line of vision, standing in front of her so that she had no choice but to take her gaze from the moon and look at him. “They care about you,” he said. “And so do I.”
“Like you’d care about a blind goat.”
“I don’t think you’re a blind goat, Natalia.”
She let out a rough breath and turned away, but not before he caught the glimmer of a sheen of tears in her eyes.
“I don’t,” he said softly. “I just-”
“-think I’m a three-legged pig who needs a stable.”
She moved fast, and might have gotten away if he hadn’t grabbed her hand, might have fought him if he hadn’t held on.
“I have to go,” she whispered.
“Hold on.” Her breath sounded funny as she struggled for control, and his heart slipped. “No, don’t…” He took her shoulders and gently pulled her resisting body close. For comfort, nothing more, but he realized the mistake instantly, as there was far more than comfort at work here. She was soft against him, so soft, and she burrowed close, burying her face in his shoulder as she struggled with composure.
So strong. So alone. To soothe, he stroked a hand over her hair, down her slim spine.
You’re asking for trouble, man, in a big way.
It didn’t seem to matter, not when she sniffed and burrowed a little closer, pressing her face into the crook of his neck.
“I was trying too hard.” Her words whispered against his skin. “You’d probably would have rather been eating peanut butter and jelly.”
“No.” Her soft, warm lips against his flesh were killing him slowly. “We just didn’t know what you were dishing out, that’s all.”
What she was dishing out now, with just this one embrace, was going to give him a king-size heart attack any second now.
“I’m sorry,” she said on a sigh. “I’m just ever so tired of making a fool of myself.” But she snuggled closer, heating his body. “I was just having so much fun being needed for a change. At home, I’m important, but not needed.” She sighed again, still against his skin, and he nearly went to his knees. “You have no idea how nice it is. To be needed.”
Needed.
Whoa. Big mental step back.
When had it gone from her needing him to him needing her?
With a good amount of shock, he lifted his head.
She lifted hers, too, and for one moment they hovered like that, their lips a fraction of an inch apart, until one of them-he had no idea which one-closed the gap.
Then they were kissing as if their lives depended on it. And in that moment, his did.
7
COMING UP FOR AIR, Natalia pulled back a fraction. Her mouth was wet, her eyes slumberous, her fingers entangled in the hair at the back of Tim’s neck. The look on her face nearly undid him.
“Don’t take this wrong,” she murmured, sending delicious shivers down his spine with her fingers, “but I’ve been wondering what that would be like.”
The admission was as big a turn-on as her kiss had been. He slid his hands over her hips. “Yeah?”
“Did you wonder, too?”
No. He hadn’t wondered. He’d been too busy. Hadn’t he? “After that kiss, I can think of little else other than doing it again.”
“Again would work for me.”
He was smiling when he kissed her this time. Smiling. He couldn’t remember ever doing that while kissing a woman before. Her body against his felt good, and he pressed closer for more of it, sliding his hands beneath the flannel and over the soft curves he’d been thinking about all day-
He had been thinking about her all day. About this.
At his low, surprised laugh she pulled back. “What?” she asked suspiciously.
“Nothing.” He leaned in for more kisses but she slapped a hand on his chest.
“You stopped to laugh.”
“No, I-”
“Let me give you a hint about women, Tim. Laughing at their kissing technique is bad form.”
Uh-oh. “I wasn’t laughing at you. Honest. Now come here.”
“For what? More kissing? You’d still be doing just that if you hadn’t laughed.”
“I laughed at me. Okay? I didn’t realize until now that I have been thinking about you all day.”
“And this is funny because…”
“It’s not funny, believe me.” He held her hands when she would have turned away. “It’s distracting.”
“Not exactly a compliment.”
“No?” He stepped close again. “How’s this for a compliment? You’re making me hot. All the time. I fantasize in the middle of a workday about you, about this, about us. About things I’ve convinced myself I don’t need.”
“I don’t need them, either.”
“Okay.” He took a breath. “So we both fantasize, but…”
She sighed. “There’s always a but.”
“But my life isn’t exactly laid out for this.”
“And mine is?” She laughed and shook her head. “No, it is not. Believe me.”
“Natalia, everything I am, everything I do, is this ranch. Women have tried to fit in here with me before, but they get tired of playing second fiddle to this place, and…well, I’m left alone and disappointed.”
“I’m sorry for that, more than sorry, but I’m temporary.”
“Exactly. So what the hell are we doing?”
“I don’t know. Scratching an itch?”
“Scratching an-” Shocked, he stared at her. “Where did you learn such a thing?”
“Oh, I see.” Her eyes chilled. “It’s one thing for a man to suggest an affair. But if a woman…if she has…”
“An itch?”
“Never mind! Just forget it.”
“Wait.” His head was still spinning. “Now I’ve insulted you.”
She sputtered, then laughed. Then, before he could so much as blink, she shoved away from him and turned her back, staring up at the moon, her arms wrapped tightly around the body he’d been molding with his hands only a few moments ago.
“Natalia.” A little wary, he came up behind her, set his hands on her shoulders, which she promptly shrugged off. “Let’s try this again.”
“Okay.” She drew a deep breath. “I’m sorry I brought it up. It was stupid.”
“No,” he said, looking at her beautiful profile. “It wasn’t.”
“But just because I thought about…scratching that itch, you should know, it wasn’t a declaration of undying love.” She dropped her gaze from the moon and landed those huge, dark gold, expressive eyes on him. “I wouldn’t expect you to love me.”
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