Molly Ryan - A Real Disaster

“Well…Yeah,” I admitted.

“So go make it better,” she suggested. “Go into the bakery and tell him that you were just shocked at his question. Tell him that you actually do want to go out with him. It’s not that hard.”

Yeah, for her maybe.

“Just walk up to him, all willy nilly?” I asked. “Isn’t that a little… Bold?”

“We’re not in the 1950’s anymore. We don’t have to sit in skirts, clean the kitchen, and then wait for a boy to call us.”

“Are you going to stand up and start charging now or is this the end of your speech?”

“Shut up,” Sabrina hissed. “If you don’t want to ask the boy out then don’t ask him out. But if you don’t, then I don’t want to hear you complain about any of that. Nut up or shut up.”

“Classy, Sabrina.” I stood up anyway and brushed the crumbs off my lap. “I’ll be right back.”

Clenching my hands into fists, I left the table and walked down the block to the bakery that Sabrina pointed out. My heart was racing and I felt like I was going to faint. I was never asked out by a boy, let alone asked one out. I had no idea what the protocol was for this type of thing. I was flying in there, blind.

Bells jingled as I pushed the door open and stepped inside. The air conditioner cooled off the shop and I found myself wrapping my arms around my body to keep warm. Turner was behind the counter, talking animatedly to an older woman. As he talked, she smiled and patted his arm. The hat she wore flopped over one eye and every few minutes he would push it back with his free hand. Finally Turner rang the woman up for her order and waved goodbye. I stepped to the side, letting her walk out of the bakery.

“Hey,” Turner said.

“Hey yourself,” I said, trying to sound casual.

“How did you find out that I worked here?”

“I have my ways…” I said, smiling.

“So Sabrina told you?” Turner asked with a knowing grin.

“Yeah,” I admitted. “We’re having some coffee down the block and I thought that I would come and say hey.”

“Oh?” Turner said. “That’s the only reason why you’re here?”

My heart stopped. He was trying to flirt with me again and, again, I was struck dumb.

“Well maybe not the only reason,” I said when I finally found my voice again.

“So why are you here?” Turner asked one more time.

I stared at him, losing myself in his dream like eyes, as I desperately hoped that a customer would walk in. No such luck. It was just Turner and me, alone. My knees tremored and I sat down in the nearest chair.

“Look I don’t do this type of thing,” I admitted, looking at the ground. “I have no idea what I’m doing or what I’m supposed to be doing.”

“Uh, okay.”

Turner was obviously confused and I couldn’t blame him.

Here I was, visiting him at work, acting like a complete freak. I could only imagine what he thought of me.

“What type of thing are you talking about?”

“Dating, you asked me out earlier-”

“I am aware.”

“And I said no.”

“Again, I’m aware.”

As I looked at Turner I could see his brow furrowing and his lips pointing down into a frown. Great, I had made angry. That was a brilliant idea.

“I didn’t mean to say no,” I said, finally able to spit the words out. “I got nervous and flustered. No came out of my mouth faster than yes did.”

“So…”

“So I came here to see if the offer was still open. I want to know if you want to go to the concert with me?”

“Sure,” he said and started to wipe down tables.

Sure. It was so simple and yet it changed everything.

“I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“Sounds good.”

I stood up and turned to the door.

“I’ll see you later okay?”

“I’ll be here.”

Then I left the bakery.

I have have a date.

Suddenly the words sank in.

Oh. My. God.

I have a date this weekend.

“This is why I never go out on dates,” I told Sabrina.

My side of our dorm room, which was usually pristine and perfect, looked like a bomb exploded. Clothes were everywhere; on the chair, on the bed, and strewn all over the floor. I couldn’t move without a threat of tripping and breaking an ankle. But, if I was honest with myself, breaking an ankle would be welcomed if that meant that I didn’t have to go out on the date. I was overly anxious and stressed.

“It’s too much work, too much stress. Who the hell wants to be this stressed out?”

“You’re only stressed out because you’re letting yourself get stressed out,” Sabrina told me. “You need to take a few deep breaths and relax. Dating is not really that hard.”

“And you know this because of all the dates you went out on?”

Sabrina was constantly telling me how easy everything was and how I was such a worry wart. But she had only been on only a few dates herself.

“Harsh,” Sabrina huffed. “Why are you being such a bitch?”

“I’m the bitch? I’m not being a bitch. I’m nervous and worried and you keep being so flippant about it all. Maybe it’s not so easy for me and such a happy experience. I know lots of girls that get this way.”

“Why? You are top notch meat. Any guy would be happy to sleep with you.”

“Sleep with me? Am I supposed to be having sex with Turner tonight?!”

“You’re not supposed to, but that’s usually how dates end, Lily.”

That wasn’t going to happen. I knew nothing about sex or having sex. Sabrina knew Turner… And that he would expect sex…

“I can’t go on this date. I’m going to call him and cancel.”

 I went to go pick up my phone but Sabrina batted it out of my reach.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Stop being such a prude, go on the Goddamn date. If you do it, you do it. Don’t over think things, it’s not helping the situation. Go with the flow…Don’t you know how to do that?”

She didn’t know my past so there wasn’t any way she would understand.

“Do I look like the type of person who can go with the flow?” I hissed. “I can’t have sex with Turner. I’m not going to have sex with somebody I hardly know because that’s what usually happens. If he thinks he’s going to get in my pants then he’s going to be disappointed.”

“Then tell him no!” Sabrina exploded. “If you don’t want to, then say no. It’s as easy as that! God!”

Sabrina jumped off her bed and stomped to the door.

“I can’t deal with you right now. There’s too much crazy here for me.”

With a growl, Sabrina left the room and slammed the door behind. I was left alone, in the middle of the room, with no idea as to what to wear.

What a great way to start the night.

The date seemed so daunting.

I slipped on a fire engine red skirt. I matched it with a block halter top with a deep V that left little to the imagination. Slipping on the pair of knee high boots that Sabrina insisted I should wear, I gave myself a look over in the mirror. My hair was mussed in waves around my face. Even without make-up I still didn’t recognize myself. Here goes nothing.

Eight o’clock on the dot there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see Turner standing on the other side, flowers in his hand, and a grin on his face.

“Am I late?” he asked as I ushered him into the room.

There was still no sign of Sabrina but I was okay with that. For once I embraced my solitude.

“No, right on time,” I told him.

Turner handed me the flowers.

“Those are for you,” he said.

“They’re gorgeous. Thank you.”

Filling up a pitcher with water, I placed the flowers in them, pulling the stems apart to separate the bunch. It was the first time I ever got flowers before.

“Are you hungry or anything? Do you want something to drink?”

“To be honest I’m too nervous to be hungry or thirsty.”

My heart melted at his comment. He was nervous? To go out on a date with me? It was adorable and relaxed my nerves too since I felt the same way.

“Don’t be nervous…” I said to him. “I’ve been telling myself the same thing so we’re both in the same situation. I don’t want our nerves to get in the way of the two of us having some actual fun, you know?”

Turner gave me a grateful smile.

“I hear that this is supposed to be the biggest concert of the year. A great kick off… Is that true?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“Yeah,” Turner said. “Last year there was a bond fire and carnival rides. It’s not just a concert, it’s a whole big to do… Just so we have a bit of fun before the hell begins.”

“Sounds like everyone is going to be there…”

“They are. Everyone wants to say that they were there at the big kick off. If you aren’t there, you’re kind of lost the rest of the year. People talk about the kick off for at least the fall semester.”

“So be honest with me… Is there a lot of drinking at this thing?”

Turner cocked and eyebrow and his smile faltered.

“A lot… No,” Turner said slowly. “But there is drinking. Is that a problem?”

“No… Of course not,” I said with a laugh.

I wasn’t about to tell Turner that I didn’t drink; that I only had a couple drinks in my whole life. Nothing could turn him off more than that, I figured. I didn’t want to sound like a complete loser right away.

“What’s your favorite drink?”

“A jack and coke,” Turner said.

“Well then you’ll have to get me one tonight,” I responded with a wink. “I want to see what it’s all about.”

If Turner could see through my façade he didn’t say anything. I looked at my watch and my eyes bulged.