Hearing my mother speak like this made me smile, then laugh, so hard that I had difficulty breathing. She watched me, her lips pursed, not amused in the least.
"Are you quite finished?" she asked. "There is an art to catching a husband, an art to which you have an inexplicable aversion." Her eyes narrowed. "Yet, you still manage to attract gentlemen, primarily because of your pedigree and your fortune. Your...unique...character may draw them in, too, I suppose. But think hard, Emily. Do you really intend to stay alone the rest of your life? The women in our family are known for their longevity. Ninety years is a long time to live by oneself."
I thought it best not to point out that, longevity of the Bromley women aside, I was unlikely to live another ninety years from the present, and even if I did, it would be virtually impossible to find a husband who could manage the same thing.
"I will do everything I can to stop these rumors. I'm convinced that Lady Frideswide is behind them. She's furious that Lettice has been thrown over. I'm sorry for the girl, but she wouldn't make much of a duchess. Dull as dishwater. Bainbridge would be much better off with you. His family could use some fresh blood. For all your faults, Emily — and make no mistake, you have many — there has always been a sparkle about you."
"Thank you, Mother." I did not fight the tears that filled my eyes. I couldn't remember a time when she'd ever said something so kind to me.
"You will undoubtedly send me to an early grave, but I'll not let anyone destroy your chances for a good marriage. We must not forget Mr. Hargreaves, either. Another very attractive option. And what a gentleman! I've heard all about him taking you to the opera."
"It was lovely of him."
"Be warned, though. A man like that will not tolerate your games indefinitely. Oh, he finds you entrancing now, but before you know it —"
"Yes, Mother, my looks will fade. I know, I know."
She rose from her chair. "You will have to alter your behavior, Emily, or you will find yourself continually subjected to this sort of gossip. The sooner you accept that, the better off we will all be." She adjusted the collar of my dress and scowled at my waist. "Your corset is practically hanging off you. What is wrong with your maid?"
"It's not hanging off me, I just didn't want it laced tightly. I find that being able to breathe greatly enhances my daily life."
"I really hope we can find a husband who will tolerate you. It's a pity that Charles Berry —"
"There is nothing that could ever induce me to marry such a man."
"A woman could tolerate a great deal to marry into a royal family."
"Forgive me, Mother, but if I am to marry royalty, I want a prince who has an actual throne." Her eyes brightened, and I could see her beginning to silently catalog all the bachelor princes of Europe. Eventually, she would come to the conclusion that none of them would want a widow, but, in the meantime, I would not spoil her fun by pointing out that I would want none of them, either.
When she left, I walked her to the door. As Davis closed it behind her, he smiled, quite unabashedly, at me. "She asked to wait for you in the library, madam."
18
My mother's efforts on behalf of my reputation were not in vain. Somehow, she managed to broker an uneasy peace between society and me. Although I was still not being invited to many of the best parties, no one dared to openly cut me, and my situation could only improve after the following week's tea with the queen. And so I learned that there are, in fact, benefits to having an absolute dragon for a mother, and I loved her for it. I know not what my mother said to Lady Elliott, but I received from her a gracious note of apology and a belated invitation to a soirée she was hosting. I sent a gracious note of my own, determined to remain above reproach, but declined the invitation. My mother might want me to change my behavior, but she had to have realistic expectations. Although I was not about to embrace all the nonsense required by society, I was going to make a very deliberate effort to make sure that no one ever felt belittled by me for having chosen to play all its games.
I took to spending days when the weather was fine in the park but avoided the fashionable sections. This chagrined my mother, who shuddered at the thought of running into people from Bayswater or, worse, those who rowed boats on the Serpentine, but she managed to keep most of her criticisms to herself.
Relishing the shade provided by a large plane tree, I sat in the same spot each day, hoping that this predictable routine would draw the attention of my admirer, who had remained silent for far too long. I would bring my Greek with me, and work at translating the Odyssey while attempting to take note of anyone who seemed to be watching me. Not once, however, either while walking to or from the park, or while I was sitting in it, did I notice anything suspicious. It was a grave disappointment.
One morning, as the sun slipped behind an ominous-looking cloud, I was gathering my books, not wanting to be caught in the rain, when a small, very dirty boy ran up to me.
"Are you Lady Ashton?" he asked.
"I am. Who are you?"
"Johnny. A gent asked me to bring you these." He handed over a thick bundle of letters held together with a blue ribbon. The handwriting was that of Léonard.
"What gentleman?"
"He's right over there." The boy pointed behind me, and I whipped around as fast as I could but saw no one. When I turned back, he had started running away from me in the opposite direction.
"Johnny, wait!" I cried, setting off after him. I was able to keep him in sight for a few minutes, but my heeled boots and fashionable gown made me no match for his speed, and I stopped, out of breath, the letters still in my hand. A quick survey of the area told me that my quest was futile. The boy had disappeared, and the gentleman, too...if he had even been there in the first place. I walked back to the bench, only to find that my books, my notebook, and my pencil were gone.
This took my breath away more than the running had. My copy of the Odyssey had been Philip's. It was bound in the finest Moroccan leather and matched his Iliad. He had written his name on the front page and made very light pencil marks to highlight his favorite passages. I felt sick. I had taken to copying down those passages in the original Greek, as I had done with the Iliad before, but was only halfway through the volume. Now I would never know what he thought of the rest of the book. And his nephew, the new viscount, whom Philip had hoped would share his love of all things classical, had lost another connection to his uncle.
buried these thoughts as best I could and went home. At least I had the letters. Back in my library, I did not sit at my desk — Philip's desk — but instead took the bundle to the window seat and began to read. I raced through the first three without pausing, grateful that I was fluent in French. But as I started in on the fourth, two things struck me. First, that my admirer, who I assumed had sent them to me, had left no note of his own, and second, that I had not the slightest clue what I hoped to find in them.
I pulled Marie Antoinette's letters out from the desk drawer in which I had placed them — the same drawer in which I kept Philip's journal, and the sight of that familiar book at once warmed my heart. I picked it up for just a moment and opened it but did not read even one sentence. Somehow, the feel of the ink on the pages brought me comfort, as if they had the power to forgive me for having lost the Odyssey, and I decided to continue my work at the desk. I took stock of the letters. There were thirty-six altogether: sixteen of them written by the queen, twenty by Léonard. I sorted through both sets, laying them out by date, so that they could be read in the sequence written, but this strategy brought no new illumination. The correspondence provided only a mundane account of the queen's days in prison, with the revelation of not a single significant detail.
Jane Stilleman's trial was to begin before long, and I had let myself run amuck with this foolish notion that reading hundred-year-old letters would somehow help me find David Francis's murderer. I was now hideously short of time and could not afford to squander any more. The letters, my admirer, and Charles Berry were proving to be nothing more than fruitless distractions. Davis rallied me from this unpleasant thought by announcing that Ivy was waiting for me in the drawing room.
"You should have brought her here," I said as I breezed past him into the hallway.
"Your callers seem to have their own opinions about what room they would like to be received in, madam. Who am I to argue?"
Ivy was not sitting when I entered the room. "Good afternoon, Emily," she said, all formal courtesy.
"Heavens, Ivy! What's the matter?"
"I came here to apologize for not having done anything to assist you these past weeks. I've been entirely remiss as a friend." I pulled her down next to me on the settee.
"Why is it always too early for port when we are faced with these sorts of conversations?" My question did not draw even the slightest smile to her face. "I'm perfectly aware that I've put you in far too many awkward situations. If anything, it's I who should be apologizing to you."
"You deserve a friend who understands you better, Emily. Colin brought you to the opera. Margaret and Jeremy persuaded her parents to join you. Your own mother has come to your aid. But all I have done is sit, listen to the gossip, and say nothing more than that I can't believe you would do such a thing."
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