"You should know," he gritted out. "You were the one standing over me."
Amanda rolled her eyes. "I don't paint. I tried it once and was so embarrassed by my lack of talent, I never touched a brush again. I've always been jealous of Mari's talent. I admit it. She got all the artistic ability, leaving me none. So I had to create a talent of my own.
"To manipulate people."
"Yes, how astute of you," she said dryly. "But wake up, cowboy. That's not what I'm doing here. What's preventing you from seeing the truth?"
He gritted out what she was overlooking, "For the simple reason that she would have told me. She wouldn't have let you get away with such a lie."
"But she did. Find out why, and you'll probably find the hurt you need to mend."
For the fourth time that day, Chad turned the handle on Marian's door. It was locked this time. He had no patience left to knock. He slammed his shoulder against the door. It didn't give.
But he heard from the other side, "Don't you dare!"
He slammed his shoulder against the door again. Damn door still didn't give way. But she opened it before he tried a third time and stood there with a furious glare.
"I don't believe you just did that!" she hissed.
"And I don't believe you let me think, even for a minute, that I made love to Amanda!"
She caught her breath, stared at him. He walked past her into the room, so angry at that moment that he probably shouldn't say another word.
He swung around. "You would have let me marry her based on a lie!"
She lowered her gaze from his. "No, I wouldn't have. I would have spoken up if you'd been forced to go through with that—even though I didn't think you'd appreciate it, or that it would matter."
"How could it not matter?"
"If you didn't believe it. And at the time, I was sure you wouldn't. But I would have made the effort anyway. There was no point, though, after Amanda married Spencer."
"No point? No point! Just leave me agonizing over what I thought was the biggest mistake of my life? You were never going to tell me, were you?"
"No."
"Why the hell not?"
"You know why. I thought you were making love to me, but you weren't. You thought it was her all along."
"I told you I didn't."
"And I told you I don't believe you. I was there! Yes, it was me. So you can't deny you called me by her name. You were sure it was her!"
"Hell, Mari, that's what this is all about?" he said incredulously. "Yes, for the briefest moment I did get a little confused and thought it might be Amanda. Your boldness just surprised me. But only for a moment."
As she turned away from him, she saw his shoulders slump. She really didn't care. Just as on that day in the stable, she was going to say nothing.
Chapter 56
MARIAN WASN'T SURE WHAT to say to him, or if she could even get any words out past the lump in her throat. Was she just supposed to believe him, when all this time she'd been sure he was still pining for Amanda?
Everything he'd said sounded good. Too good. That was the problem. How could she just accept it all when she'd drawn such opposite conclusions? It would mean she'd been an utter fool. That she'd let her difficulties with her sister go too far.
But she did owe him a better explanation than she'd given. She turned back to him—and found him gone.
She caught her breath in surprise. She hadn't heard him leave. And he'd left with the wrong impression. That wouldn't do. He'd intruded in her room several times that day, she could do the same to him.
But he'd left the hotel. She began to panic, imagining what he must be thinking. She should just wait for him to return, but she couldn't. She had no idea where he might be, but she'd find him. He hadn't been gone that long.
She found him on a corner in the center of town, just standing there with his hands shoved in his pockets, as if he'd been doing the same thing she'd done earlier—wandering aimlessly in thought. It was very late in the afternoon, almost evening. Businesses were closing for the day; people were rushing home from work, making the sidewalks and streets much more crowded than usual. It was the heavy traffic that had probably stopped him where he was.
He was drawing curious stares from passersby because of his Western-style coat, boots, and the wide-brimmed hat that Easterners weren't used to seeing. At least he wasn't wearing his gun holster. That had been packed away since they'd reached Chicago.
She approached from behind him. At least she'd had the presence of mind to wear her veil again. She'd already seen three people she knew, though they hadn't recognized her.
A crowded corner wasn't exactly the ideal place to have a conversation, but no one else was standing still, so she didn't think they'd be overheard. She was josded a few times before she got up the nerve just to say what needed to be said.
"The moment the notion took hold that you thought I was Amanda that day, it colored my judgment on everything else."
At the sound of her voice he turned around. Realizing where they were, he took her arm and started walking, so at least no one passing would hear more than a word or two of what they were saying. "I knew you were angry. I was going to explain, but Amanda never gave me a chance to. I was shocked, more than anything else, when she claimed what she did. I knew deep down that you were the woman I'd made love to, but when you didn't correct her outlandish insinuations, I didn't know what the hell to think anymore."
She started blushing, and told him, "I suppose I didn't have enough confidence in myself to speak up immediately. I still couldn't believe that you'd prefer me over Amanda."
"But I did," he insisted.
"Let me finish. I wasn't supposed to be the sister of choice, for any man. For a long time I went through a lot of effort to make sure I wouldn't be."
"Why?"
"To prevent exactly what happened. Why do you think Amanda claimed what she did? It wasn't just about the inheritance. It was because she was jealous that you could want me instead of her. It's always been that way with her. It's why I tried to conceal the fact that we are twins. My disguise, the insults, were to make sure men would only notice her."
"So she might get jealous. That was no reason for you to change your appearance completely and live with that lie indefinitely."
"I felt it was. You see, it never failed that if a man showed even the slightest interest in me, or vice versa, she'd lure him to her instead, by any means, even making love to him if that's what it took. And after she rubbed it in my face that he was hers, she'd then cast him aside, inflicting a good deal of emotional pain in the process to punish him for having thought about me in the first place. I didn't want to see that happen to you."
"You couldn't tell me that at the time?"
"That I'd fallen in love with you? No, Amanda had to get married first before I could admit to that."
He stopped, grinned, tilted her face up to his. "You love me?"
"I didn't say that, I said—don't confuse the issue. I'm trying to explain—"
"Darlin', nothing else matters if you love me."
She should just accept that, grab her happiness, and to hell with everything else.
"Yes it does. Aside from my feelings, I still don't see how you could love me, me, when you didn't even know the real me. It's just this face, her damn face—"
"It's time for you to hush up again, Mari," he said gently and lifted her veil so he could cup her cheek. "You think I don't know you? You're the one who showed such concern for me that you nearly chewed my tail off for it when I stood down those stage robbers. You're the one who showed remarkable courage— or foolhardiness—when you thoughtlessly tried to take on a mountain man four times your size just to help me. You're kind, you're considerate, you worry about others' feelings— maybe a little too much. I admire your gumption; I admire your talent. Actually, I think you're kind of wonderful. You're the one I fell in love with, Mari, and before I ever saw your real face, before I knew you were her twin."
She stared up at him in awe. "You really mean it, don't you?"
He cupped both cheeks now. "I want you for my wife. Will you marry me?"
She threw her arms around his neck. She laughed. "Oh, yes, yes! If you hadn't asked, I probably would have."
He laughed as well and started to kiss her, but someone bumped into them with a mumbled apology. Marian was jarred enough to regain an awareness of where they were. This really hadn't been the place for such a conversation. And she thought she'd recognized that voice. She turned to look, but didn't see anyone in the crowd whom she knew—and then she did and went very still.
"What's wrong?" Chad asked.
She looked back at him, her eyes wide. But then she shook her head. "Nothing. Just my imagination seeing things."
"Bridges?"
"No, it—" She didn't finish, looked down the street again, frowning. "I know I'm being silly, but let me make sure. I'll be right back."
She hurried in the direction she'd seen the man go. Chad was close behind her, but she didn't wait for him. There was just no way in hell she could be right about who she'd seen, and it would only take a moment to prove it.
She caught up with the man, tugged on his arm to stop him. "Papa?"
He turned around, gave her an annoyed look, then continued on his way, leaving her standing there in utter shock.
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