"No, because I have a little more respect for myself than you do, to want—"
"I have the utmost respect for myself," Amanda cut in. "It's you who doesn't—or you wouldn't make yourself look like an ugly old maid."
The blush was back, but it was an angry one this time. "You know what, Mandy, you're absolutely right," Marian agreed with her.
She yanked off her spectacles, held them up in front of her with both hands, and snapped them in two, then tossed them aside. She removed the hairpins while she was at it and shook her hair loose.
Amanda hadn't expected her goading to draw such results. She stood there a little in shock for a moment, staring at her own reflection. "You know you won't reveal yourself completely," she said hesitantly, a bit hopefully. "You've worn that disguise too long."
"Too long is right. And thanks for reminding me that I don't need it anymore. You've got your husband lined up. I think it's pretty safe for me to start looking for one now, wouldn't you say?"
"No, I wouldn't," Amanda huffed. "And don't think I don't know what you're up to. You're going to try to win him back, but it won't work, not unless you tell him the truth—and why the hell didn't you?"
"Because he wouldn't have believed me. You heard him there in the stable. He thought it was you all along. He wanted it to be you. And when he's done being annoyed over the 'supposed' deception, he'll be thrilled that he's getting the woman he's wanted from the start."
"Yes, he will, won't he," Amanda purred, letting her conceit surface again. "He won't even mind that I lied. He'll probably be glad that I did—if he ever finds out. It's too bad you wanted him, too."
"Yes, it is, but at least I realized my mistake before it's too late. I can actually thank you for getting me out of that mess. Believe me, I never thought I'd say that."
Amanda blinked, frowned, then demanded, "What are you talking about now? What mess?"
"The one created by my mistake. I was foolish enough to think he might like me. I didn't know he was sure it was you he was making love to. If you hadn't lied about it, I would have been stuck with him."
"Dammit, Mari, when did you get the idea that I was stupid? I know what you're doing, but it won't work. You liked him enough to let him have you there in the stable. Don't try to pretend you don't now."
"I liked him, yes, but I wouldn't have let him 'have' me, as you put it, if I hadn't gotten carried away by my first taste of passion. I would have wanted to be sure of his feelings first, and now that I am sure of them, I wouldn't marry him even if for some reason you don't."
"I don't believe you."
"I could care less."
Amanda's lips thinned, a sign that she was no longer sure of her evaluation. Marian tossed in the clincher.
"You know, Mandy, I hate to say it, but in this we're very much alike."
Amanda snorted. "Like hell we are."
"I know, I find it hard to believe, too." Marian grinned. "But what you're overlooking is that I'm not willing to be any man's second choice any more than you are. Now will you get out? I have my entire wardrobe to go through, to see if anything is salvageable for the 'new' me. Or maybe you wouldn't mind lending me a few of your dresses until I can find a seamstress in town? You haven't exactly been wearing your clothes lately, so I'm sure you won't miss them!"
Chapter 35
AMANDA SLAMMED THE DOOR as she departed. Marian was surprised to find that she felt like smiling. If she'd learned anything from her sister over the years, it was how to put on a good performance, and she'd just given one worthy of a professional. But the question was, had it worked? Not that it would really change anything, other than to save her from more of Amanda's gloating.
Amanda still wanted a husband, the sooner the better in her mind. Marian had only removed one of the reasons for her to accept Chad in that role. The other reasons still applied, that he was willing, that Kathleen approved of him, that the wedding would take place soon. If no one else caught her eye or interest before the date Kathleen set for the wedding, then Amanda would marry him.
Marian picked up her broken spectacles from the floor. She stared at them for a long moment. She could replace them. She did have another pair. But what was the point? It wasn't as if they were back home in Haverhill, where men would be calling on Amanda every day, and some of them might prefer her instead.
She really did need a new wardrobe though. She'd chosen the drab colors not because she favored them, but because they furthered her "invisibility." But she was done with that charade. And if Amanda felt threatened by having competition again—too bad.
She removed the dress she'd slept in, found a white blouse that was at least neutral in color. As for a skirt—she noticed the riding skirt she'd borrowed from her aunt, the one she'd been wearing yesterday morning...
She wasn't going to cry again. She was going to have to stop mourning her loss eventually, and she might as well start now.
She still had to learn how to ride, but she wasn't about to let him finish the lesson for her. Besides, she at least knew the basics now of getting a horse ready to ride, which had probably been the hardest part. How difficult could getting on a horse and staying on it be, when just about everyone in this part of the country rode one? She was determined to teach herself the rest.
She donned the riding skirt and headed out of her room. Ella Mae picked that moment to show up, and with only a brief knock first, the maid stuck her head around the door.
"Hell yes!" she said, quickly grasping that the change in Marian's appearance was deliberate. "'Bout damn time."
Marian managed not to blush. "All my reasons to hide are gone."
"I heard," Ella Mae said, her voice tinged with disgust. "She couldn't stop crowing about it last night when I collected her clothes for washing." And then hesitandy, "Want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Didn't think so. When you feel like it though, you know where to find me. Want me to fix up your hair, or are you just going to wear it wild like that?"
"I feel like wearing it wild, but I suppose that would be going a bit too far in the opposite direction."
"It will take a little cutting on the bangs," Ella Mae warned. "Not much. You'll still be able to pin them back like she does when needed."
Marian nodded. "Just don't give me exactly the style that she prefers. All those ringlets are much too frilly for my tastes."
It didn't take Ella Mae long. She was very good at creating hairstyles that were not necessarily in high fashion, but very becoming to the individual. And she compromised by not pinning Marian's long locks up again but tieing them back with a bright blue ribbon.
As for the bangs, she only needed to snip a few, since they were already trained to lean toward the sides. The result was a little fluff, a few curls near her temples, and a whole new look.
"I'd go pay her a visit now to show off," Ella Mae suggested. "But that's just me. You're too nice to play her game."
Marian grinned. The two of them never needed to clarify who she was.
"She's not going anywhere, and besides, she already knows I'm done with hiding. Right now, I have an appointment with a horse."
She expected the stable to be empty again. The cowboy who tended to the horses might be back to work, but if he was still sick, he should be spending most of the day resting. But she still hadn't glanced at a clock before heading there, so she wasn't sure what time of the day it was. Somewhere around noon, to go by the position of the sun.
She saw that Kathleen had ridden in for lunch, or for the day. She had put her horse in a stall, an indication she wouldn't be using him again. She was just closing it when she heard Marian approaching and glanced her way.
"Surprised to see you out here," Kathleen remarked, her tone a bit stiff. "But at least you're properly dressed this time."
"I'm Marian."
"Sure you are," Kathleen snorted.
Marian winced. She hadn't expected this. It had been a really long time since she'd had to convince anyone which sister she was.
She'd forgotten how vexing it could be, too, if she couldn't think of something specifically known just to her and the other person that she could offer as proof that she was indeed Marian. She'd been in that frustrating position many times with people angrily insisting that she was Amanda. Fortunately, she'd had several private conversations with her aunt from which she could draw proof.
She mentioned one now. "When you lent me this skirt, you told me to ignore any ribbing from the cowboys about it, that they jokingly called it female chaps. I'm pretty sure we were quite alone when you said it."
Kathleen visibly relaxed. "Yes, and so far on the other side of the room from the door that day, that if anyone had been trying to listen through it, they wouldn't have been able to hear anything. So it is you. What an amazing difference!"
"You might want to whisper a word or number to me now, just to make sure you aren't left in doubt again."
"No more spectacles?"
"I never intended to wear them after Amanda got married, and she's just about... married."
She hadn't meant to introduce that particular subject. Fortunately, Kathleen merely said, "Yes, she is," and left it at that.
To quickly get her aunt's mind on something else, Marian asked, "How are we going to get to town when we go? I haven't learned to ride yet."
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