Danielle Steel - A Good Woman

“We have lots of time, Annabelle. We’ve only been married for three months. People need to get used to each other. I’ve told you that before. Give it time, and don’t push.”

“I’m not. I’m just asking.” She wasn’t anxious to go through what Hortie had, but she wanted to have his child, and was willing to brave it for him, no matter how bad it was or might be.

“Don’t ask, and it will happen. We need to settle in.” He sounded very firm, and she didn’t want to argue with him, or make him mad. He was always very kind to her, but when she annoyed him, he backed away and got very cold with her, sometimes for several days. And she had no desire to cause a rift between them now.

“I’m sorry. I won’t mention it again,” she whispered, feeling chastised.

“Please don’t,” he said, turning away from her, his voice sounding suddenly cold. He was warm and loving on all subjects, but not this one. It was a sensitive point for him. And a few minutes later, without a word, he got up again. She lay waiting in bed for him for a long time, and then finally fell asleep before he came back. And in the morning, when she woke up, he was already up and dressed. It happened that way most of the time. It reinforced what he had said about not annoying him by pushing, and reminded her not to bring the subject up again.

The following week she went to visit Hortie, and found her in tears when she arrived. She was beside herself, and had figured out that she was pregnant again. The baby would be born eleven months after Charles, in July. James was delighted about it, and hoped it would be another boy. But with the memory of her first baby’s birth still so fresh in her mind, Hortie was terrified of going through it again, and she just lay on her bed and cried. Annabelle tried to console her, but didn’t know what to say. All she could think of to comfort her was that it probably wouldn’t be as bad the second time. Hortie wasn’t convinced.

“And I don’t want to look like a cow again!” she wailed. “James never came near me the whole time. My life is ruined, and maybe this time I’ll die!” she said miserably. “I almost did last time.”

“You won’t die,” Annabelle said, hoping it was true. “You have a good doctor, your mother will be there. They won’t let anything happen to you.” But they both knew that other women died in childbirth and just after, even with excellent care. “It can’t be worse than last time,” Annabelle reassured her, but Hortie was inconsolable. “I don’t even like babies,” she confessed. “I thought he’d be so cute, like a giant doll, and all he does is eat and poop and scream. Thank God I’m not nursing him. And why should I risk my life for that?”

“Because you’re married, and that’s what women do!” her mother said sternly, as she walked into the room, and gave her daughter a disapproving look. “You should be very grateful that you’re able to bear children and make your husband happy.” They all knew of women who were unable to conceive, and were left by their husbands for women who could. But listening to them, Annabelle was suddenly grateful that it was not an issue between her and Josiah, although she found Hortie’s baby a lot more appealing than his mother did. But in spite of that, Hortie was going to have two children by next July, within less than two years of her marriage. “You’re a very spoiled, selfish girl,” her mother scolded her and left the room again, with no sympathy whatsoever, although she’d been present at the agonizing experience Hortie had gone through. She said only that she’d been through worse herself, with equally big babies, several miscarriages, and two stillbirths, so Hortie had no reason whatsoever to complain.

“Is that all we’re good for? Just breeding?” Hortie said to her friend angrily, after her mother left the room. “And why is it so damn easy for men? All they do is play with you, and then you get all the misery and the work, you get fat and ugly and throw up for months, then you risk your life having a baby, and some women die. And what do men do about it? Nothing, they just do it to you again, and run out with their friends and have fun.” Annabelle knew, as Hortie did, that there were stories around town that James was playing a little too much, and seeing other women on the side. It reminded Annabelle that no one’s life or marriage was perfect. Josiah wanted to wait before starting a family, but she was sure he wasn’t cheating on her, he wasn’t that kind of man. In fact, the only perfect marriage she knew of was her parents’, and her father had died, and now her mother was a lonely widow at forty-four. Maybe life really wasn’t fair.

She listened to Hortie rail and whine for several hours, and then went home to Josiah, relieved that their life was simpler, although he was still cool to her that night. He hadn’t liked her comments of the night before. He went out to dinner with Henry that night at the Metropolitan Club, and said he had some business matters to discuss with him. Annabelle stayed home and pored over her medical books. The next day she was going to Ellis Island again. She was reading everything she could on infectious diseases, particularly tuberculosis. Even though exhausting and challenging, she loved everything about what she did there. And as often happened, she was sound asleep when Josiah came home that night. But when she woke up briefly in the night, he was holding her. She smiled as she went back to sleep. All was well in their world.

Since Josiah wasn’t close to his family, he and Annabelle spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas with her mother. And since he was alone, to be kind to him, they invited Henry on both occasions. He was bright, charming, and attentive to Consuelo, so he was a happy addition in their midst.

Hortie eventually calmed down, and got used to the idea of another baby. She wasn’t thrilled, but she had no other choice. She wanted more children anyway, she just hadn’t been ready for it quite so soon after her ordeal in August, but she was hoping this time would be easier, and she wasn’t as sick.

And Annabelle was dedicated to her work on Ellis Island, despite her mother’s continuing objections. She hadn’t asked Annabelle about grandchildren again, and had gotten the message loud and clear that it wasn’t going to be happening imminently, and although she was anxious for them, she didn’t want to intrude unduly. And she treated Josiah like a son.

It shocked all of them in April to realize that it had been two years since the sinking of the Titanic. In some ways, it felt like yesterday, in others a lot longer. So much had happened. Annabelle and her mother went to church that day, and had a special mass said for her father and brother. Her mother was lonely, but had adjusted to the losses in her life, and she was grateful that Josiah and Annabelle spent so much time with her. They were very generous about it.

In May, Annabelle turned twenty-one. Consuelo gave her a small dinner, and invited a few of their friends. James and Hortie came, several other young couples from their set, and Henry Orson, with a very pretty girl he had just met. Annabelle hoped that something might come of it for him.

They had a wonderful evening, and Consuelo had even hired a few musicians, so after dinner they all danced. It had been a lovely party. And that night, when Josiah and Annabelle went to bed, she asked Josiah the fateful question again. She hadn’t mentioned it in months. He had given her a beautiful diamond bracelet for her birthday, which everyone had admired, and was the envy of all her friends, but there was something else she wanted from him, which was far more important to her. It had been gnawing at her for months.

“When are we going to start a family?” she whispered to him, as they lay in bed side by side. She said it, staring up at the ceiling, as though if she were not looking at him, he would be better able to come up with an honest answer. There was much between them now that was unsaid. She didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but after nine months of marriage, some things were hard to explain, and he couldn’t keep telling her they “had time” and didn’t “need to rush.” How much time?

“I don’t know,” he said honestly, looking unhappy. She could see it in his eyes when she turned to look at him. “I don’t know what to say to you,” he said, sounding near tears, and suddenly she was frightened. “I need some time.” She nodded, and gently turned to touch his cheek with her hand.

“It’s okay. I love you,” she whispered. There was so much she didn’t understand and no one she could ask. “Is it something about me that I can change?” He shook his head and looked at her.

“It’s not you. It’s me. I’ll work on it, I promise,” he said, as tears filled his eyes and he took her in his arms. It was the closest they’d ever been, and she felt as though he was finally letting walls down and letting her in.

She smiled then as she held him, and gave his own words back to him. “We have time.” As she said it, a tear rolled down his cheek.

In June, Consuelo left for Newport. With less to do in the city now, she liked being there before the season began. Annabelle had promised to come up in July, and Josiah at the end of the month.

Consuelo had already left the city, when the news from Europe riveted everyone’s attention. On June 28, 1914, Archduke Franz Ferdinand, heir to the Austro-Hungarian Empire, and his wife, Sophie, were visiting Sarajevo in Bosnia on a state visit, and were shot and killed by a young Serbian terrorist, Gavrilo Princip. Princip was a member of the Black Hand, a much-feared terrorist Serbian organization determined to end Austro-Hungarian rule in the Balkans. The Grand Duke and his wife were each killed by a single bullet shot at close range to their heads. The shocking news reverberated around the world, and the consequences in Europe were rapid and earthshattering and mesmerized everyone in the States.