Fenella Miller - A Country Mouse

Incensed she snatched her hand back; it was a deliberate insult, but she was unable to help herself. If his expression had been unfriendly before, now it was arctic. His eyes narrowed and she could see him clench his teeth, obviously biting back a crushing set-down.

From somewhere she found the strength to speak. “I am delighted to meet you, Cousin Sebastian.” Her cousin raked her from head to toe, dislike and disdain apparent in his every gesture.

“Are you indeed, cousin? I only wish I could say the same.” He turned and half bowed to his great-grandfather. “You will excuse me, I hope, sir?”

Without another word he sauntered out of the room leaving Emily so furious she forgot to be insulted. She glared after him, hating him, and for a glorious moment forgot that she had possibly just ruined her family's one chance of happiness. 

“Well, my child, you certainly knocked him from his high horse.” The Earl chuckled, much amused by his granddaughter's spirited behaviour. Emily swung back to face him, her face crumpled and tears filling her eyes. “I have offended him, my lord. He will never offer for me now.” The weight of failure was crushing her chest.

“Come and sit by me, my dear, and do not look so woebegone. If he does not want you, that will be his loss. There are plenty more eligible gentlemen out there for you to choose from, I can assure you. You are an heiress now.”

Her mouth fell open. “But I thought I had to marry Viscount Yardley. I thought that was the arrangement between us.”

Her grandfather frowned. “What arrangement, Emily? You wrote to me asking for my help in finding a husband; Sebastian is just the first suitable bachelor I have introduced you to.”

Emily sat down beside the old man. “Are you saying that you do not mind if my cousin does not offer for me? You're not going to send us back?”

“Good God no! Of course not! Whatever gave you that ridiculous notion?”

Emily recalled the letter from the Earl. In it he had offered to find her a husband and suggested that Viscount Yardley might do; he had also offered to give them a permanent home. There had been no mention of sending them back. Her fevered imagination had manufactured the threat. She nodded, her eyes still damp.

“It appears I have misunderstood, my lord,” she said stiffly. “But after the callous way you have treated my mother these past years, it is small wonder that I did so.”

He shifted on his chair and his lined face flushed. “You are right to take me to task, Emily, my dear. I have behaved abominably. I blamed my dear Althea for her mother's demise; I was so distraught at the time I was not thinking rationally.”

Emily was unimpressed. She regarded him sternly. “But you also ignored my plea for help when our father died two years ago. Surely you were not still overwrought at the loss of the countess then?”

He shook his head. “I have no excuse, other than your appeal arrived on the anniversary of her death. It was not an auspicious time, as you can imagine, and opened old wounds.”

Emily jumped to her feet. She had heard enough of his feeble excuses. “On my father's death you became the head of our household, my sisters and my legal guardian. You have shamefully shirked your responsibilities. If we were not in such desperate straits, believe me, sir, we would not be here now.”

Her grandfather pushed himself up out of his chair. He towered over her, his face thunderous. “I shall not be taken to task by a chit of a girl; I am the Earl of Westerham and your grandfather and I expect to be treated with respect, at all times. Is that understood?”

She felt her courage desert her. She knew she had overstepped the mark and sincerely regretted her impertinence, however true her intemperate words had been she should have held her tongue. Then her spine stiffened and her head came up. She returned his glare, unbowed. “I sincerely apologize for my incivility, my lord. You are quite right; I should never have spoken so rudely.” Her eyes flashed dangerously and her nostrils flared. “However, I do not retract my words for they are the truth. I merely regret the way in which they were spoken.”

The Earl's face became redder and for a horrible moment Emily thought he would fall to the ground with an apoplexy. It was time to take her leave. She dropped a small curtsy and spun, her skirts flying out revealing her trim ankles, and walked briskly across the acres of polished boards and scattered rugs, praying she would reach the door before the explosion came. She did not.

“Come back here, miss. I have not finished with you yet.” The roared command bounced off the walls. She could not in all consciousness pretend she had not heard. She stopped, and slowly turned back to face him. He waited, stony faced, for her to retrace her steps.

She halted, two paces in front of him, keeping her eyes lowered, waiting for the torrent to break over her head. She heard him step forward and flinched, expecting to be felled by a blow. A gnarled, but surprisingly strong hand, reached out and gripped her chin, forcing her to look up.

“Well, my dear child, that was invigorating. I have not enjoyed myself so much for years.”

“I beg your pardon...” Emily stammered.

“I enjoy a good row—cleans the pipes—do you not agree? Come, Emily, do not look so worried. The show is over.” He laughed. “You will have to get used to my temper if you wish to live here.” He released her chin and took her icy hand. “You are trembling, child. I am sorry; I did not mean to frighten you. Come and sit with me.”

Emily allowed herself to be led to the settle by the fire, grateful for its reviving warmth. She was totally bemused. How could he change from terrifying to benevolent in a second? She regained her composure and dared to speak again. “I don't understand. Are you no longer angry with me?”

He leant over and patted her hand. “No, my dear, I am not. You enraged me for a moment; I shouted at you and then I felt better. It is always so for me. In time you will get used to it.”

“I'm not going to retract my words, sir. I do feel that you mistreated us this last two years.”

“I did, my dear. But I had no idea you were in such difficulties. Your letter merely stated that your father had died and that Althea was grieving and asked if I could help in anyway, did it not?” Emily nodded. “However you did not tell me you were so strapped for cash that you could not pay the bills.” He scowled at the thought, causing her to recoil again.

She considered his explanation and found it to be true. “I hoped you would send us help anyway, now that the reason for your disapproval had been removed.”

“I am sorry, my dear. You are quite right to admonish me; I should have offered to have you here then. I have sadly neglected my duties; can you find it in your heart to forgive an old man of five and eighty?”

“I suppose I must, sir. I would not wish a gentleman of your great age to meet his maker unforgiven.” Her words were bland but her eyes sparkled.

He chuckled. “Thank you, my child. Do you think you could call me grandfather now I am forgiven?”

She smiled, finding that she might actually be coming to like him. “I can manage that, Grandfather.” As matters were settled between them and they were in complete accord she felt emboldened to enquire after Lady Althea. “Where is my mother, Grandfather? Did your reunion not go well?”

“It went wonderfully. She forgave me and we embraced fondly.” He paused, his face concerned. “Why she is so thin and poorly? I pray that she has not got the wasting sickness.”

“No. It's that after Papa's death she was unable to cope with the grief and fell ill. I believe she is like you in that respect. Her appetite all but vanished and I sincerely believe that without the doses of laudanum to give her release from her pain she would not still be with us.”

“She has grieved long enough. I know, I have wasted half my life doing the same. It is hoped the change of circumstances will start the healing process. She has retired to her rooms, the emotion of the occasion, plus the fatigue of the journey, have exhausted her.”

“I'm sure that she will start to recover here. She has been much more like herself ever since she received your letter. It has been a difficult two years, Grandfather. I cannot tell you how glad I am to be here and to no longer have the responsibility of running Glebe House on my shoulders.”

The Earl sat back and studied her critically. He did not like what he saw. “Are you ailing, too, Emily? You are stick thin, almost as wasted as my poor Althea.”

“No, Grandfather, I'm as well as I could be. I'm sure now that I am here, I shall soon recover.”

“Are you telling me that your appearance is solely caused by lack of sustenance? That you have been unable to put enough food on the table?”

Emily blushed; it was not something she was proud of. “I made sure that Millie and Serena, and the staff, never went without, Grandfather.”

“God dammit!” The Earl exploded, forgetting his manners in his anger. “I shall never forgive myself for this, child. I promise I'll make it up to you. Never, never, will you want for anything again. My purse is deep and its contents are entirely at your disposal. Whatever you require, it is yours.”

“Do you mean that, grandfather? Anything at all?”

“Yes, of course. I do not make idle promises. What do you want? Name it?”

She sighed happily. “I wish you to wave a magic wand so that I become so beautiful my obnoxious cousin falls under my spell and then I can turn him away with a broken heart. That is what I want.” She sat back, waiting for his laughter.