I always thought Ash was beautiful but there weren’t words to describe how incredible she looked in the morning. God, she is breathtaking. Her hair was lying on the pillow and her mouth was opened just slightly and she made the most gorgeous little sounds. It wasn’t snoring; more like purring.

As I stared at her I realized I wanted Ashlynn. I needed Ashlynn and I knew exactly what I needed to do in order to get her. I was taking a leap of faith because I didn’t know if she would agree to it, but if Maddox was right about Ashlynn then I had nothing to worry about.

I figured today was a new day. A new start. A new beginning and I wanted to begin something, I’m not sure what exactly, but something with Ashlynn Miller.

Kissing her on the cheek I quietly got up out of bed. I didn’t want to wake her because I had a surprise for her. After relieving myself in the bathroom I grabbed some aspirin and a bottle of water. Swallowing the pills and gulping down the bottle of water I grabbed my cell phone and left the room.

Getting the phone number from reception I dialed.

“Airlines. How may I help you?”

Taking a few deep breaths I said, “I need to make a flight change.”

After the conversation I hung up the phone. Looking down I could feel my heart beating so fast I thought I was going to pass out. Clicking my phone shut I said, “I hope you know what exactly you’re doing Jason.”

Taking one step at a time I made my way back to mine and Ashlynn’s room. I could hear moving around on the other side and knew Ashlynn was up. I wasn’t sure if I was incredibly excited or scared shitless to walk into that room because I didn’t know what would be waiting for me on the other side.

With shaky fingers I got out my swipe card. Taking a few deep breaths I tried to calm myself. Come on Jason, you can do this. Just walk through. It’s only Ashlynn. But she wasn’t just any girl. She was the girl. My girl or at least I’d hoped.

After getting the green light I opened the door. Ash’s back was to me and I saw that she was packing up her clothes. The second she heard the door open I noticed she scrunched up a little bit from behind and jumped; almost like she was scared of me or what I was going to say. Turning around I could tell she was nervous. In this tiny voice she squeaked, “Jason …”

She was getting ready to say something but I cut her off and said, “You should probably pack up the rest of your stuff. Our flight leaves in a little while.”

She was biting her lip but she let it go and her face automatically turned down in a frown. It looked almost like I punched her in the gut from the way she was reacting, but hopefully she wouldn’t be acting like that for much longer.

I just hope I’m doing the right thing and not making a bigger mess for the both of us. 

Chapter 4

Ashlynn

I thought I was going to wake up in Jason’s arms, but I didn’t. Although I did wake up with a horrible headache because of all the crying I had done the night before. Stretching and getting up from bed I walked over to my make-up bag and searched for some type of Tylenol or Advil to relieve my headache.

Stumbling upon my make-up removal wipes my tummy automatically started doing somersaults and flips because of the memories of Jason last night. At first I thought it was all a dream and I never wanted to wake up from it. It made me think that the horrible mess prior was so worth it because we came out to a beautiful thing afterwards.

Watching him as he wiped away the smeared mascara on my face I could tell there was something in him that was changing. Although I could tell there was a part of him that wanted to fight it every step of the way. Somehow, someway I was going to get through that barrier. I noticed it in his eyes when he was wiping away the mascara. He was biting his lower lip and scrunching his eyebrows together and kept shaking his head back.

I started to wonder if everything Jade had told me was only a small portion of what growing up in the Williams’ household was like. I started to think back on the years at school and realized that not once did Mr. or Mrs. Williams ever visit their children.

Meanwhile my dad was always making surprise appearances. Sometimes I was kind of annoyed with it because on some occasions I was rather hung over but I was grateful my dad was always there for me. Jade and I were so close that my dad always included Jade and Jason in on whatever we were doing. Sometimes we would just go get something to eat or even go see a movie.

I thought it was really sweet when the school sent home gift basket order forms around midterm and finals time. Miraculously, Jade and Jason always received one but it was never from their parents. I knew they were from my dad and he never told me about it.

I also started to question if I was strong enough to help Jason with his struggles. I just didn’t want to create a bigger mess for Jason to have to deal with and clean up. I wanted to help him. Not hurt him.

Taking some Tylenol and taking a few sips of water I started to get ready. Our flight back home would be leaving shortly. I wondered where Jason was, but maybe he just needed this time alone to think about things between us and where exactly we went from here like I was.

After taking my shower I just put on some jean shorts and a sweatshirt. I didn’t bother washing my hair because I didn’t feel like it. Today was my lazy day and I was welcoming it with open arms. I already felt like shit on the inside so why not look like shit?

I began to pack my bag when I heard the door unlock and begin to open. I thought I had calmed down but my chest started to heave up and down. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack or something. Yesterday Jason could have walked in here and I would have just felt my heart skip a beat and my face redden but today was the total opposite. I didn’t know how to act around him. I couldn’t just be myself because within the past 24 hours everything had changed between us.

I took a deep breath and slowly turned around and Jason was smiling at me. I opened my mouth and said, “Jason …” but he didn’t let me finish.

It felt like someone ran me over, beat the shit out of me, and left me on the side of the road. I wanted to ask him what exactly happened last night. Where do we go from here? What do you want?

But I guess him cutting me off and saying, “You should probably pack up your stuff. Our flight leaves in a little while,” was all he needed to say.

He wanted to forget the last 24 hours, but I wouldn’t. I would keep those memories for as long as I lived and cherish them under lock and key. I would remember that for the 24 hours we were in Vegas that things between Jason and I were different. A complete 180.

Things were quiet between us while we both packed up our stuff to head back home. When I finished packing I sat on the uncomfortable hotel bed and remembered last night when Jason snuggled up next to me and kept me close to him. He kept me safe and comforted me. And in that he gave me hope.

Pulling out my Kindle I began to read a book I had downloaded on the flight over. I was still reading when Jason walked over to me and nudged me with his foot. I looked up at him confused and he said, “Ready Ash?”

Oh yeah, back to reality where shitty things do happen to good people unlike books that are written for make-believe and where your dreams really do come true. Where your prayers are actually answered and you truly can have it all.

I just nodded my head and quietly said, “Yeah, I guess.”

I got up from the bed and started to grab my bag when Jason said, “I got it Ash.”

I looked down because I couldn’t bear to see the look in his eyes when I whispered, “No, you don’t. You never did.” With that I picked up my bag and we both left the room, checked out of the hotel, and hailed a cab.

Every step that I took felt like I was being stabbed in the heart and someone was twisting it. I just wished that I had a magical clock where I could rewind time and figure out where it all went wrong and change it so maybe right now could be different.

Instead of waking up alone I could be waking up in Jason’s arms and kissing him. Where we could stay in bed all day and change our flight time because we got carried away. Where we could get to know one another on a different level besides that of friends. Where we could go back to school as a couple and see where this took us.

Whatever path it led us down because good or bad, right or wrong it would be amazing. No matter what way it ended: with him for forever or with him for only a short while I would be changed in some sort of way for the rest of my life. All because of Jason Williams.

Walking into the airport lounge my heart was beating out of its chest because I didn’t want to board the plane. I didn’t want to go back to Maryland and in five years, ten years from now look back and think that our short trip in Vegas was only a dream and how I wished I would have never woken up. Because like books and movies, dreams are more often than not better than reality.

We started walking in the direction of our gate and as I started to turn Jason put a hand on my upper arm signaling for me to stop. Stopping, I slowly looked up into his eyes and he was looking at me with the hint of a smile on his face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something white was waving below us and I looked down. I noticed that he was holding two airplane tickets and I wondered when he snooped into my bag and got mine.