I saw him shake his head and then he looked back up into my eyes and I swear it was almost as if he could hear my thoughts because he winked at me and gave this crooked grin. I couldn’t help it anymore and my face automatically blushed.

I couldn’t help it and I smiled up at him through my eyelashes but then I remembered that Jason would never want me that way. So I shook those thoughts from my mind and was back to a look of disappointment.

I didn’t think anybody else noticed our little whatever it was but Derrick leaned over and said, “You might want to drink some ice cold water because the way you two are looking at each other, well I’m surprised you guys aren’t in the bathroom right this very minute.”

I turned to him and I wanted to slap the smile off his face but then a little part of me wondered if Jason did want me. I was beginning to psych myself out but I turned to look at Jason and he had a huge scowl on his face so I knew that Derrick’s assumptions were wrong.

I turned back to him and shook my head but he leaned in again and whispered, “You didn’t see his reaction earlier to what I said.”

“What did you say?”

Derrick shrugged his shoulders and with a sneaky grin plastered on his face he said, “Well, the guys asked me how I’m doing and I told them that I was in a new relationship. I just wanted to see Jason’s reaction to it and he went bananas. He started screaming at me and defending you. I honestly thought you guys would be attending my funeral but Maddox told him to calm down and then Gabe had a talk with him.”

Derrick started laughing and then continued. “Anyway Gabe walked him away from us and talked to him. I had asked for Maddox’s and Gabe’s help with the whole thing because I wanted to see for my own two eyes whether or not Jason had feelings for you. While Gabe talked to him Maddox and I kept laughing. Then we almost lost it when we heard Jason yelling at the top of his lungs about why am I here on the trip and if I mentioned one more thing about my new relationship he was going to beat my ass.”

I just shrugged and let out a breath. My arms slumped down into my lap and I looked down. Derrick wrapped his arm around me and I said, “Then why won’t he make a move or something?”

Derrick kissed me on the cheek and said, “Ash, that boy really likes you. I mean really likes you but I don’t know why he won’t show you. Maybe he’s like an onion where you have to peel back the layers one at a time for him to open up to you or something.”

I turned to Derrick and just started laughing. “Really? You’re going to use a Shrek analogy right now?”

Derrick’s eyes got huge and then he lightly nudged me. “Hey, come on now Ash! Don’t go judgin’ and hatin’ on my favorite movie of ALL time!”

Again I just laughed. Derrick always knew how to cheer me up.

Poking my dimples he said, “That’s what I like to see. Now come on girlfriend, we are going to make Jason a really jealous man tonight! You with me?”

I peeked at Jason out of the corner of my eye and saw he was looking at me. I turned back to Derrick and wrapped my arms around him and kissed him on the cheek. “Most definitely!”

Derrick and I touched and flirted for the remainder of dinner. I swear I could see smoke coming from Jason’s direction but I inwardly giggled and started becoming a little more courageous. Of course the alcohol was also helping with that little part.

After we got to the club and said congratulations and everything we ordered our drinks. As soon as I saw the waitress I wanted to rip her hair out. She was walking up to us and she was checking Jason out.

My stomach instantly tightened and I wanted to throw up but after Derrick and I ordered our drinks he pulled me out onto the dance floor. Derrick wrapped his arms around my waist and we started grinding into one another and just having a good time.

We danced for a few more songs and then Derrick whispered in my ear, “That boy is fuming Ash.” We both started to giggle and I expertly looked behind me and saw Jason was about to crack.

I looked back at Derrick and hugged him. “Thanks Derrick.”

He smiled at me and said, “Anytime chickee. Well, now that my evil plan is done I’m going to go find my man.”

I kissed him on the cheek and said, “I said I’ll see you later.”

Derrick’s back was to me as he was walking away but he cocked his head toward me and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” then blew an air kiss at me.

I stood there for all of two seconds when a cute guy asked me to dance with him. I just smiled and nodded my head because the plan was getting a lot better. I began to wrap my arms around his neck but he put his hands at my waist and spun me around so my back was to his front. I could feel his erection pressed up against me and I started to get a little nervous.

I figured I could dance with him for one song and then be done with it. I mean it’s only three minutes right? Well three minutes of pure torture.

He ground into me and it was really rough and uncomfortable. He started moving his hands to my lady area and I tried to get him to stop. I guess he took that as an invitation because he spun me around and pressed me to him and then he tried to kiss me. I tried to push him away but he held onto me tightly.

I managed to step down on his foot with my high heel and pushed him off me. He started fuming and I started to walk away from him saying, “I’m not interested.” As soon as the words left my mouth I turned around to walk away from him but he grabbed my wrist and yanked me back into him.

I was just about to start screaming but somebody got him to release me and then I heard a fist slamming into the asshole’s face. I turned around just in time to see Jason standing over the guy and yelling, “KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY GIRL YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”

I looked around me to see if security was coming but nobody was. The club was so loud that you couldn’t hear it. I looked back to Jason and he looked like he was going to murder the guy.

I couldn’t move.

I couldn’t form words.

I couldn’t believe that Jason actually felt something for me. I was just about to say something when Jason turned to me and walked over and wrapped me in his arms. A part of me was nervous about how he was going to act but the second he touched me everything else evaporated.

I felt safe.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and took a few breaths in and out. I could feel his erection pushing into my belly and I started to get butterflies. It turned me on and I was curious. I was about to kiss his neck when he put me at arm’s length and looked into my eyes.

“Are you ok?”

Keeping eye contact I nodded my head and managed to whisper, “Thanks.” My heart was beating so fast and I wasn’t breathing normally.

Jason dropped his hands and started to step away but I grabbed the hand that he used to punch the guy with and lifted it to my lips. I could see he was breathing really fast from the way his chest was heaving up and down.

Without taking my eyes off his, I pressed my lips to his hand. I figured it was now or never and I decided to go with now. I didn’t care about the consequences or any of that. It didn’t matter.

I was just getting ready to move my lips away when I heard him mumble under his breath, “Fuck it,” and then he pushed me up against the wall and his lips were on mine.

Everything else vanished. All I saw was Jason. All I heard was the heavy breathing and teeth clenching and the moaning and groaning. All I felt was Jason’s erection pushing against me and his hands roaming all over me.

He started to go on an exploration of my body. Fingers pushing into my hips, lips sucking my neck, and his tongue flicking my earlobes and sucking them into his mouth.

I wanted to explore him as well so I began to kiss along his jaw and trail kisses up to his ear. I whispered, “Jason,” in his ear and before I knew it he was pushing himself away from me. I thought he was going to drag me out of the club but I looked up into his eyes and he looked scared. Scared shitless.

I knew it was too good to be true, that Jason would ever have feelings for me. He looked into my eyes and said, “I can’t, Ash.”

The second he said my name I wanted to cry but I didn’t care anymore. I took a deep breath and then looked into his eyes. I pulled my hand back and slapped him so hard across his face while screaming, “FUCK YOU JASON.”

As soon as I slapped Jason I wanted to apologize but I was just so pissed off and hurt that he’d pushed me away like that. He treated me like garbage and I didn’t deserve that. Every step I took away from him I wanted to turn around but he didn’t want me and that was very obvious. I didn’t think this mess could get any worse but apparently I was wrong.

Jade told me our freshman year that Jason’s life growing up was pretty hard. Their dad was always putting Jason down and if Jason got a 3.9 in school or made varsity his sophomore year in baseball their dad would belittle him and say, “Well, why couldn’t you get a 4.0?” or “Why couldn’t you have made varsity your freshman year?”

Jade told me because she wanted me to get a sort of understanding why Jason acts the way he does. I understood it but I didn’t condone it. I was also not allowed to ever say anything because Jade said that if Jason ever found out I knew he would probably never talk to her again.

While the background information answered so many of the questions I had about Jason it also brought up so many more and they weren’t for Jason.

All of my questions were for Jade.

I wondered what living with someone like that would do to her. How would it affect her in life?