Thunderstorms are actually my favorite time. I love reading a book and cuddling up by the fireplace. That was my source of peace and tranquility, but right now in this moment I feel restless. My brain is running a mile a minute because I’m questioning everything that has happened between me and Jason. He showed me a piece of him that he hasn’t told anyone else about and then he ran away. I realized that he was testing me and I failed.

I proved him right … that nobody stays.

I was so scared of getting hurt that I didn’t open my eyes and my mind … but most importantly my heart to the possibilities of feeling happy and alive.

My eyelids were starting to get heavy when there was a loud pounding coming from the door. I immediately jumped out of bed and my heart started pounding. I looked over at the clock and it read 12:30 a.m. and I wondered who it was. Before I walked out of my bedroom to the front door I bent down and pulled on some sweatpants.

Walking out into the living room I heard another at the front door and doubled in movement to get to my destination much faster. I put my hand to the lock and unlocked it. I then took a deep breath and placed my hand on the knob and turned. The door was only halfway open when I saw Jason.

He was standing there all disheveled and staring at me but looking as beautiful as ever. I took a second to drink him in.

The way the rain was covering his hair and it was getting plastered to his face. The way his eyes were bearing into mine and looking deep into my soul.. The way when Jason breathed out I could see his chest rise and fall and the warm air leave his lungs. The way he was clenching his fists together and moving his weight from one foot to the other because of nerves. The way he was sucking his lower lip into his mouth and his eyebrows were scrunching together because he was thinking excessively hard.

I thought he was going to say something but nothing left his mouth except carbon dioxide so I took a deep breath and said, “What do you want Jason?”

While dropping his head to look at the pavement he placed his hands on his hips and let out a low laugh. Seconds went by and then his eyes met mine and he cupped my face in his hands. His thumbs moved back and forth along my cheeks to soothe me and then he whispered, “It’s not what I want Ash but more like who and it’s you. Ashlynn, I want you.”

He huffed and said, “I love you.”

He then crushed his mouth to mine and I wrapped my arms around his neck. We were standing in the doorway of my apartment but Jason lifted me in his arms and walked in closing the front door behind him.

Jason set me down on the floor and we both just stared at one another. We were both breathing pretty heavily and neither of us knew what to do.

Jason started to step back from me never taking his eyes off of me but I said, “Take the jacket off Jason.”

He tilted his head but did as I said and just as he was about to set it on a nearby dining room chair I took fistfuls of his shirt in my hands and crashed my mouth to his. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me so my feet were dangling from the floor. I wrapped my arms around him and held on for dear life, hoping he wouldn’t push me away again and say, “I can’t.” He started to kiss my neck as he walked us back to my room and my heart was beating wildly out of its chest.

Not from nerves, but from pure excitement.

He laid me down on the bed and came on with me. The weight of his body on top of mine was comfortable. His lips on mine were everything I ever expected in a kiss … Jason’s kiss. His hands on my body left goose bumps where they previously touched and butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

Jason sucked my lower lip into his mouth and bit down a little. He trailed his hands up and down my body and then stopped at the bottom of my shirt. Moving his head back to look at me his eyebrows scrunched together. The look in his eyes was so sincere and he looked almost nervous.

He was breathing really heavily and managed to whisper, “Ash?”

I let out a breath and nodded my head. “I want you Jason. I’ve always wanted you.”

He kissed me again on the lips and then took my shirt off and gasped when he realized I wasn’t wearing a bra. His eyes got huge and he licked his lips and then looked back at me. The look in his eyes completely turned me on and before I could say anything he was sucking one of my nipples into his mouth. I gasped and before I knew it Jason was releasing my nipple and looking at me.

My mouth dropped open and before I could stop myself I said, “Why’d you stop?”

Jason leaned down and kissed me on the lips and then backed away and just started chuckling. He bit his lip and said, “I knew you would taste amazing. So sweet.”

Before I could form words his mouth was back on my nipple and he was pinching and rolling the other one with his hand. After a loud “pop” he moved to the other nipple and gave it the same affection and attention. The way he was sucking my nipples into his mouth and nibbling down I thought I was going to come just like that.

Of course I had read about that in books but I never thought it was possible until now. I started to grind the lower half of my body up against Jason. We timed it perfectly as hard as he sucked on my nipple that’s how hard I ground against him. Before I knew it I felt a zap run through me and I clenched my legs around him and it was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It was a mind-blowing, life altering, ground breaking, phenomenal orgasm and I couldn’t wait for Jason to be inside of me.

He started to suck on my neck while I got my breathing back to normal and then he moved up my body and said, “I knew you would be amazing. I just never thought I would be the one giving you this.”

Smiling at me Jason then moved down my body and began to trail kisses down my stomach and stopped at my belly button and licked it. I had my belly button pierced and he took the ring in his mouth and pulled away which gave a little bit of pressure but it was pleasurable.

He then got on his knees and looked at me and said, “God, you’re beautiful Ash.”

His hands were at my pants and a small smile came to my lips because I could feel his hands shaking. I lifted my hips to give him the answer to the question he was too afraid to ask but I knew was on his lips as well as his mind.

He began to pull just my pants down when I put my hands on top of his and said, “Both Jason.” He looked into my eyes and then put his thumb in the tops of my panties and began to pull them down as well. He was pulling them down so slowly and it caused me to get goose bumps and shake a little.

Jason instantaneously stopped what he was doing but I said, “Keep going Jason.”

As soon as they were off and falling onto the floor he looked at me and said, “Ash, we don’t have to…,” I cut him off right there and sat up and cupped his face in my hands.

Without taking my eyes off his I said, “Yes, we do. I mean I want to. Do you?”

He put his hands on top of mine and said, “You don’t even need to ask. You’re the only girl I’ve wanted Ash. You always will be.”

His lips were again on mine and he was pushing me back so I was lying down on the bed. He gave little light kisses and then I realized that Jason was still fully clothed and I brought my hands to the bottom of his shirt and started to pull it up. He looked at me and realized what I wanted and helped me out. As soon as his shirt hit the floor his mouth was on mine and I was rubbing my hands up and down his flat stomach and back.

Digging my fingernails into him.

He started to get up off the bed and put his hands to his jeans and without taking his eyes off of me he unbuttoned and then unzipped his jeans and pushed them off his hips. He left his boxers on and then climbed back on the bed.

Jason was just getting ready to kiss me when I asked, “Why’d you leave the boxers on?”

He looked at me and said, “I need a barrier, Ash. I want you but not like this.”

He started to lean into me when I placed my hands on his chest and said, “Jason, I don’t care where it happens. For all I care it could be in an alleyway or in the backseat of a car. The only thing that matters is that it’s with you.”

He started to sit back on his knees and said, “Ash it needs to be special.”

I sat up on my knees and took his hands in mine and kissed them. “It will be. Simply because it’s with you.”

He took a sharp intake of breath and then said, “I don’t even have –. “ I cut him off and said, “I’m on birth control.”

A couple of seconds went by and then he looked into my eyes. “Are you sure Ash?”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and right before I kissed him I said, “Yes Jason.”

His lips were hesitant at first but then he wrapped me in his arms and laid me back down on the bed. We made out like two sex-starved teenagers for a while and then he lifted his head and began to kiss down my body. I got up on my elbows and looked at him and then he stopped at my mound. He didn’t even have to ask because I moved my legs apart so he could get better access.

I saw him lick his lips and then he looked into my eyes and winked. I bit my lower lip and watched as he used his fingers to spread me apart and then licked my clit with his wet tongue. My legs started to shake and Jason looked up at me and I nodded my head for him to continue.

He licked my clit up and down and before I could moan he pushed a finger into me and moved it in and out. He moved his head away and said, “Fuck Ash, you taste amazing.” I just moaned because it felt so good. I can definitely tell you it was ten times better than using my own fingers or my vibrator. Even though I was a virgin I still had sexual needs.