“Ash?” she called softly. “Ash, it’s Allie. Are you there? Ash?”

She tried the knob. The door was locked. The room was dark. Maybe Ash was with a woman. The one from last night. Maybe she was inside, hurt. Maybe…

The door opened and Ash stared out at her. She was barefoot in a white V-neck T-shirt and loose navy blue sweatpants. The only light came from a series of muted floods situated near the eaves of the buildings surrounding the courtyard, but even in the dim illumination,

• 139 •

RAdCLY fFe

Allie could see the blank futility in Ash’s eyes. She looked hurt. She looked beaten.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Allie whispered. “Damn you, Ash. I couldn’t sleep.”

Ash opened the door wider. “Neither could I.”

• 140 •

RetuRning tides

chapteR fifteen

Allie followed Ash inside and stood in the dark wondering what to do next. After a few seconds, Ash turned on a table lamp in the sitting area. She looked at Allie questioningly, as if waiting for some explanation. Allie didn’t have one. Ash was pale, gaunt looking, as if she’d been ill for a long time. She stood awkwardly, clearly favoring her left hip. Allie could barely stand to see her hurting so much.

“I don’t know why I’m here, exactly,” Allie said softly. “I guess…

I’m worried about you.”

“I’m okay,” Ash said hoarsely.

“You look horrible.”

Ash grinned lopsidedly. “Your pickup lines could use some polish.”

“Bullshit,” Allie protested, smiling back. “My plays are legend.”

“True.”

Allie was grateful for the little bit of banter that defused some of the tension that filled the distance between them with a heaviness that made her ache inside. She’d been disappointed by women plenty of times in her life. She’d been crazy in love with Bri, and probably still was a little bit, somewhere deep inside. But Bri had been in love with Caroline, always and forever. She could have fallen for Deo—she’d been in a place where she’d wanted to fall for her, but that hadn’t worked out. And then another girl too, right after high school, who’d been special and who’d moved on. She hurt still, a little bit, for all of them and what might have been, but none of them had ever left with a piece of her heart. Ash had walked away with a huge chunk of it and maybe that was all this was about. Just trying to get back that piece of

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her heart that she needed to feel whole. Maybe she just had to sever whatever invisible connections still kept them tethered to one another, despite time and distance and hurt. But not now, not tonight.

“Go back to bed, Ash. I shouldn’t have come over here in the middle of the night.”

“I wasn’t sleeping,” Ash said. She’d been lying awake thinking about Allie. Half worried and half crazy. Worried that Allie might be more hurt than she appeared, and half crazy thinking about someone else taking care of her. No matter how many times she reminded herself that Allie didn’t need her anymore, she couldn’t stop the desire to see her, be near her, care for her.

“Can I get you anything?” Allie asked gently. “Medicine or something?”

Ash wiped the sweat that had suddenly surfaced on her forehead, even though the room was cool. “I took some aspirin. Earlier.”

“Okay, fine.” Allie couldn’t stand by and watch Ash struggle to stay upright any longer. She shot across the room and put her arm around Ash’s waist. “Then you need to go to bed. Now.”

Ash stiffened, her flesh burning beneath Allie’s fingers. The soft curve of Allie’s breast pressed against her side, and despite being sick at heart and battered physically, she was instantly aroused. She tried to pull away, but Allie held her more tightly.

“You can’t be here, Allie,” Ash whispered.

“I am here. Let me just help you and then I’ll go.”

Ash relented because she wasn’t strong enough to resist. Because Allie smelled so good, felt so good. They walked into the adjoining bedroom together, and Ash slowly lowered herself into bed. Allie disappeared and Ash thought she was leaving. She waited to hear the sound of the door closing. Waited for the night to yawn long and empty before her. Then Allie reappeared with a fresh glass of water and set it beside her.

“Did Tory give you any pills?”

“A prescription,” Ash admitted. “But I didn’t fill it.”

Allie jammed her hands on her hips. “Really, Ash. Do you have to be such a hardheaded ass all the time?”

“Apparently.” Ash shrugged, but cut the motion short when her shoulder screamed in protest. “I don’t want to take that kind of medication. I know what’s wrong, and it’s not going to kill me. I look worse than I am.”

• 142 •

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“That’s really not saying very much.”

Allie spun around and stomped into the bathroom. A few seconds later she came back and placed four aspirin next to the glass of water.

“Two if you wake up tonight, and two in the morning. Okay?”

“How are you feeling?”

Allie took stock and to her surprise, felt better than she had all night. The stitches in her leg twinged every time she moved, and her hands burned from the many small cuts on her palms, but the horrible sick tension that had plagued her since the moment of the accident was gone. She knew Ash was going to be all right, and that’s what she’d needed to know all along. “I’m not the one who fell through the floor.”

“Please don’t remind me.”

“I’m sorry,” Allie said softly. “It was my fault.”

“That’s not true.” Ash started to push herself up on her elbows, but groaned and fell back against the pillows.

“Would you please relax?” Allie snapped.

“Yes, all right, fine…but understand this. The situation could have just as easily been reversed. I could’ve put my foot down in the wrong place at any time this afternoon and you would have been the one falling ten feet into a hole. I shouldn’t have let you come with me.

It was all my mistake.”

“Look, Walker, I can take responsibility for myself. I insisted on coming along. I was there to do my job, just like you. I just…messed up.” Allie looked away, horrified to feel tears forming beneath her lashes. She blinked rapidly until she forced them back. “I let personal stuff get in the way of doing my job. I’m so sorry.”

Ignoring her protesting body, Ash sat up, unwilling to appear like a victim when Allie was taking all the blame for her injury. “No one can just turn off the things that matter to them, even when they’re working.

Everyone carries personal baggage around with them all the time.”

Allie shook her head vigorously. “Reese doesn’t.”

Ash rolled her eyes. “Oh, for Christ’s sake. None of us will ever be Reese Conlon.”

“Yeah, true,” Allie said, laughing despite her misery. “Okay, bad example. But I should’ve done better.”

“So next time you will. Next time I’ll keep a better eye on where you’re stepping too.”

“Next time?”

• 143 •

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Ash dropped back on the pillows, unable to support herself any longer. She sighed. “I’ve still got a dozen major scenes to evaluate. Are you planning on letting me do it by myself?”

“No,” Allie said vehemently, secretly hoping Reese wasn’t going to pull her from the assignment. She wanted to see it through. She really liked the work. And she really liked working with Ash. Maybe they could even end up friends, someday.

“So we’ll do better next time,” Ash said.

“I guess we can work on it.” Allie saw that Ash was fading. Her eyelids flickered and her words had begun to slur. Allie wanted to stay.

She just wanted to be there if Ash woke up. If she needed anything. If she hurt. She bit the inside of her lip and reminded herself of all the many reasons that was a really bad idea.

“I’m going to go now,” Allie said softly. “Will you go to sleep?”

“I’ll try.”

“Not good enough, Walker. Promise.”

“Promise,” Ash whispered.

Allie reached to turn the light out and as she leaned over, made the mistake of looking into Ash’s eyes. The dark pupils were cavernous and her irises had turned smoky, the way they did when Ash craved her.

Want surged in the pit of her stomach and she quickly extinguished the light before Ash could see it. She backed away, retreating by memory to the door.

“Good night, Ash.” She let herself out quickly, not waiting for an answer.

v

“Tell me she’s asleep,” Tory said as Reese came into the bedroom, undressing as she walked.

“The perks of a full stomach.” Reese grinned. “Down for the count.”

Tory leaned back against the pillows with a sigh. “I’m really glad she’s home, and I’m really glad she’s asleep.”

Nude, Reese pulled back the covers and slid under next to Tory.

She turned on her side and propped her head on her elbow. Skating her fingers lightly up and down Tory’s arm, she said, “Tired?”

“Darling,” Tory murmured, “the heart is willing but the body…”

• 144 •

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Reese laughed. “I wasn’t talking about that. I was actually talking about talking.”

“Why? Is something wrong?” Tory rolled over to face her, draping one arm around Reese’s middle.

“Nothing’s wrong at all. But we never finished talking about the baby thing this morning.”

“Oh. That.”

“Uh-huh.” Reese wasn’t exactly sure what she was going to say, but she couldn’t ignore something that she knew was important to Tory.

“You took me by surprise. I kind of thought that we were done.”

“I guess it did seem to come out of nowhere,” Tory said quietly. A lot had changed in the course of a day. Right now, the foremost thing on her mind was determining if Reese had any serious physical illness, and helping her through whatever residual remained from her recent trauma. Baby-making was suddenly low down on her list. “My timing was bad, and maybe that’s an omen. Let’s talk about it some other time, when life is less hectic.”