I had Sally draw blood for routine chemistry and also an endocrine panel. Until I get the results, anything I say would be premature and possibly inaccurate.”

“All right. You’ve given me the safe answer,” Tory said evenly.

“Now tell me what your gut says.”

“I think she’s possibly the most amazing women I’ve ever met.”

Tory laughed. “Flatterer.”

“I mean it,” Nita said, smiling, “and you know how I feel about Deo.”

“Yes, I witnessed the courtship, remember.”

“And I have no secrets left.” Nita’s smooth café au lait skin flushed. “In addition to all her obvious attributes, psychologically Reese is really remarkable. And unusual. You know that, right?”

“She’s spoiled me,” Tory said softly. “When I met her, I didn’t believe in love anymore. Not the kind of love that changes your life.

Not the kind that…well, you know.” Tory took a breath. “And then, there she was. So…damn perfect. So strong, so clear minded, so utterly completely focused on me. She gave me everything I ever wanted and let me want more.” Tory folded her hands on her desk and stared at her intertwined fingers. “And I’ve indulged myself in how wonderful that makes me feel. How wonderful she makes me feel. And maybe I’ve asked too much of her all this time.”

• 135 •

RAdCLY fFe

“Oh boy,” Nita murmured. “I’m going out on a limb here, because I’ve only known you two a relatively short time. But I think you’re wrong. About indulging yourself and about taking advantage of her.

That’s what you’re getting at, aren’t you?”

“Maybe. I guess so.” Tory was sick thinking that Reese needed her and had been afraid to tell her. Thinking that she hadn’t given Reese what she needed when Reese came home so damaged. That she’d allowed herself to believe that Reese was strong enough to handle anything that came her way, because she needed her to be.

“Reese is about the most honest person I’ve ever met,” Nita said. “I asked her some pretty pointed questions and we talked about some pretty frightening things. Or what would be frightening for most people. In my opinion, she’s not frightened, she’s not anxious, she’s not psychologically fragile. She’s every bit as strong as you think she is.”

Tory straightened. “You don’t think she has PTSD?”

“I think she’s displaying completely normal, human reactions to a horrifying experience. Mild psychic trauma that’s well on the way to mending. She said herself that her nightmares are getting better. You seem to think that she’s improving.”

“Yes. But if it’s not that…” Tory’s chest tightened as if a huge hand were squeezing around her heart. For a second, she couldn’t catch her breath. “You think…you found something physical?”

“No, no,” Nita said quickly, shaking her head. “God, I knew I should wait until we had the tests—”

“I’m sorry. I’m fine. Really. I want…I need to hear this. Please.”

“Okay…bear with me while I try to put this into words. Reese is really complicated, and she’s also really simple. She functions on two levels, as far as I can tell. You said yourself she’s a Marine, and that goes far beyond just a job description. It’s part of her psyche—an ingrained need to take responsibility for others, to see that good wins out, if you will. It’s the soldier mentality. She needs to be the sheriff now just as much as she needed to be a Marine before. It’s her purpose.”

“I know. I realized that soon after we met, and as hard as it is, I would never ask her to change.”

Nita nodded. “And then there’s the bigger part of her. That part you’re too close to see. The part where she’s vulnerable. And that’s you.”

“Me.”

• 136 •

RetuRning tides

“The only time I got a response out of her that was anything other than totally calm and controlled was when we were talking about you.

Anything that affects you—your mental or physical comfort—that’s her Achilles’ heel.” Nita hesitated.

“What? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Her blood pressure spiked to two-thirty systolic at one point. We happened to be talking about you.”

“Two-thirty,” Tory whispered. “God, Nita. She could stroke at that level.”

“If she weren’t in such superb physical condition, I’d be a lot more worried.” Nita kept her gaze steady on Tory’s. “I’m not saying it’s not something to worry about, but we need more information before we panic.”

“What do you recommend?” At that moment, Tory couldn’t even begin to think like a physician. All she could envision was something happening to Reese. She saw her hands trembling, but she couldn’t feel them. Her lips tingled but when she ran her tongue over them they felt like wood. The room dimmed and she wondered if someone had turned the lights off in the clinic.

“Tory.” Nita’s voice came from far away. “Tory, put your head down.”

Tory felt fingers on the back of her neck, gently kneading. She took a deep breath and slowly became aware of her cheek resting against her desk. She pushed herself upright. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.”

Nita sat back down, her expression sympathetic. “You know, Reese isn’t the only one susceptible to PTSD. You’ve been under almost as much stress as she has. And you’re exhausted.”

“I’m all right,” Tory said quickly. “I haven’t been sleeping that well and my leg’s bothering me.” She saw Nita’s eyebrows lift almost imperceptibly. “And, all right, I’m terrified of something happening to her.”

“Well, then I would say the two of you are perfectly matched. As far as Reese is concerned, I’m recommending that she wear a cardiac monitor and a transdermal blood-pressure sensor twenty-four hours a day for a week.” She pointed her finger at Tory. “And you need to let me be responsible for her. Let me take care of her. And trust me.”

“All right.” Tory smiled faintly. “I’ll try. I really will.”

• 137 •

RAdCLY fFe

“Have her come by tomorrow and I’ll get her set up. Now you go home and remember your promise.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Tory looked at the pile of charts and lab reports on her desk that she still needed to review, and decided that nothing was more important at that moment than Reese. She repeated her promise to let Nita handle things all the way home, and when she walked in the house, the first thing she saw was Reese lying on the couch with Reggie perched on her chest. Jedi, his paws twitching in his sleep, snored on the floor beside the sofa. Tory vowed that for the rest of the night the only thing she would do was enjoy her family.

“Hi, love,” Reese said, a wide smile chasing the shadows from her eyes. “Look what I found.”

Reggie squealed and held up her arms. Tory dumped her blazer and briefcase unceremoniously in a pile on the floor and scooped up her daughter. She breathed in the faint odor of baby shampoo and apricots and thought she had never smelled anything so beautiful. She spun slowly in a circle. “Hello hello hello. Look who’s home!”

Reese made room on the sofa and Tory sat next to her. Reggie immediately demanded to get down, and Tory set her on the floor.

Watching Reggie out of one eye, she scooted closer to Reese, looped her arm around her waist, and kissed her. “Hello, darling. I missed you.”

“I’m glad you’re home,” Reese murmured against her ear. “Are you hungry? We’re having hot dogs.”

“It’s almost nine o’clock,” Tory chided. “She should be in bed.”

“But we’re hungry.”

“Hungry,” Reggie confirmed with a happy shout.

Laughing, feeling her weariness drop away like an unwanted coat on an early spring morning, Tory rose and pulled Reese up with her.

“Then you’re cooking.”

Reese leaned down and plucked Reggie up with an arm around her middle, then slung the other arm around Tory’s shoulders. “Grab a seat at the counter, put your leg up, and prepare to be feasted.”

“I love you,” Tory laughed, amazed at how easy it was to live just in this moment, when she had everything she needed.

v

• 138 •

RetuRning tides

Allie rolled over and looked at the clock. Ten thirty. She couldn’t sleep even though she was tired. Every muscle and bone in her body ached. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the softness of Flynn’s lips, the heat of her mouth, the gentle tug of fingertips on her breasts.

When she started to get excited, she touched herself and instantly, the images shattered.

Cursing inwardly, she flopped onto her back and stared at the ceiling, so wide-eyed she was vibrating. Patchy moonlight cast leafy shadows across her ceiling. She thought of the flowers she’d seen along the path to Ash’s room that afternoon. The afternoon felt so long ago.

An image of the blossoming bruise on Ash’s shoulder as she lay on the treatment table clicked into sharp focus. Allie recalled the hot glint of Ash’s eyes when she’d looked at her in the burned-out building, just before she’d fallen. Just before she’d fallen and disappeared.

Allie lurched up straight in bed, clutching the sheet so tightly in her fists her fingers ached. Ash’s eyes had looked so empty when she’d stared at her and Flynn together in the clinic. God, Flynn. She couldn’t think about Flynn right now.

Grabbing her phone from the nightstand, she punched in Ash’s number from memory. A few seconds later her call went to voicemail.

Ash should be home by now. What if something had gone wrong? What if she was still at the clinic? Hurriedly, she dialed the clinic number.

She took injured tourists and townspeople there so frequently, she knew the number by heart. Three rings. Four rings. The answering machine picked up.

Tossing the covers aside, she vaulted from bed and dressed hurriedly in jeans and a cotton pullover sweater, not even bothering with underwear. She grabbed her keys and was in her car before she had time to talk sense to herself. Five minutes later, she pulled up in front of the Crown. A minute after that she knocked on Ash’s door.