“I know baby,” Carre whispered, milking her in long fi rm strokes.

“You come now, baby. You come.”

Bri’s eyes rolled back in her head and she clutched Carre as if she were drowning and Carre was all that stood between her and oblivion.

“Fuck! ”

Laughing, Carre wrapped her legs around Bri and held her sweat-streaked face to her breast. “God, you are so sexy.”

“Trying to kill me,” Bri muttered, still quaking. “Think maybe you did kill me.”

“You know I have to go back to school in six weeks.” Carre caressed Bri’s shoulders. “I don’t want you to forget who you belong to.”

Bri opened her eyes and struggled to focus. Her vision was still blurry but clear enough for her to make out the scared look on Carre’s face. Bri’s heart plummeted when she realized that she was the cause of that fear. “I’ve only ever loved you. The only thing I’m gonna do while you’re gone is count the minutes until you come back.” She pushed herself up on both arms and waited until Carre looked into her face.

“I’m only ever going to love you.”

“Me too.” Carre wrapped her arms around Bri’s shoulders and pulled her down until Bri’s body covered hers. She pressed her face to Bri’s neck. “Only ever you.”

• 48 •

Winds of Fortune

❖

“I’m awake,” Tory said as the bedroom door opened and a sliver of light slanted in from the hall. “You can turn the light on.”

“That’s okay,” Reese replied. “I’ll just…should I come to bed?”

Tory closed her eyes for an instant, the swift pain of the unthinkable question making her breathless. She pushed the sheets aside, making room. “Of course.”

Reese undressed in the dark and a moment later, settled onto the bed. She lay on her back, her arms by her side. When she spoke, her voice was hollow and fl at. “I’m sorry.”

“For what, darling?” Tory inched closer and lay on her side facing Reese. She lightly placed her hand in the center of Reese’s abdomen.

Reese’s skin was cool, and her muscles felt stretched tight over bones that were far too prominent. “You need to tell me, because I can’t help you if you don’t.”

Reese gripped the sheets, her body rigid. “I shouldn’t have left like I did tonight.”

Tory waited until the silence stretched so thin she feared the air would shatter like glass. “Why did you?”

“I was ashamed. Ashamed of forcing myself on you.”

“Oh no,” Tory murmured, grasping Reese’s shoulders in both hands and pulling her into her arms. She cradled the back of Reese’s head and pressed Reese’s face to her breasts. She rocked her, bleeding inside with the need to ease her pain. “You could never ever do anything to me that I didn’t want.” She kissed Reese’s forehead. “I love you.

I’ve wanted you since the fi rst instant I saw you. I will want you until the moment I die, and if there’s anything beyond that, I’ll want you forever.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing sometimes, Tor. I feel like I’m lost and you’re all I have to hold on to.”

“It’s okay. You hold on to me, darling. You hold on just as tight and just as long as you need to.” If Tory could have pulled Reese inside her body and sheltered her with her very breath and the last drop of her blood, she would have. Instead, she was left with inadequate words and what she feared was an all too fragile strength to fi ght off whatever monsters shadowed Reese’s soul. She tightened her grip and steeled herself for whatever might come. Reese was her life, and she had nearly

• 49 •

RADCLY fFE

lost her half a world away in a godforsaken desert in the midst of a war that no one understood. Now Reese was home again, and she would not lose her to whatever demon had followed her back.

“If I’m ever going to be any good to you again, maybe I need to go back,” Reese whispered in the dark. “Maybe I need to go back and fi nd whatever parts of myself I left over there.”

Tory’s world teetered on the verge of collapse. She wanted to scream no, but she stopped herself even though holding back made her feel as if she were dying. She didn’t say no, because what if Reese was right? She didn’t say no, because she didn’t want Reese to know the truth. I’m not strong enough to let you go. I’m not strong enough to be without you again.

“Promise me you won’t do anything without talking to me fi rst,”

Tory said shakily.

“I promise,” Reese whispered. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

Tory pressed her fi ngers to Reese’s lips. “Shh. Go to sleep, darling.

It’s all right.”

Tory held Reese, wondering if either of them would sleep. As she listened to the lie echo in the stillness, Tory felt her heart breaking.

• 50 •

Winds of Fortune

CHAPTER FIVE

When Tory awoke, the bed beside her was empty. Heart racing, she threw back the covers, grabbed her robe, and hurried into the hall. Reggie’s crib was empty, and the smell of coffee drifted up the stairs. Immediately, she felt calmer. Reese was downstairs with the baby. She was home, she hadn’t gone anywhere. Taking a deep breath, Tory went to greet her family.

“Hey,” Tory said casually as she bent to kiss Reggie, who was sitting in her high chair in front of the breakfast bar. Her hair smelled like baby shampoo and apples. The apples, she noted, were part of breakfast. Reese still had her desert tan, and her arms and legs in her faded green T-shirt and boxers looked sinewy and lean. Muscle and bone. A fi ghting machine, but she wasn’t a machine. She was a woman.

“Good morning, darling. How did you two get up without me?”

“You were sleeping pretty soundly, so when Reggie started making hungry noises, I got up.” Reese’s eyes held an apology. “You must have been really tired.”

Tory wrapped her arms around Reese’s waist and kissed her. “I slept fi ne.” She could tell by the circles under Reese’s eyes that she hadn’t. She rubbed her hand over the center of Reese’s chest and kissed her again. “Nita is working today. I’m backup. Any chance you could switch your shifts around and stay home with us?”

“I don’t think so,” Reese said, stroking Tory’s hair. “You know, what with me only being back a few weeks, I think I should be there.”

“Okay. I’ll probably take the baby to the beach with Cath and the kids.” Tory sidled around Reese to the counter and poured coffee.

“Dinner then?”

“I’ll try.”

Tory put the pot down and left her cup on the counter beside it. She slid a slice of toast off a plateful and handed it to Reggie, who promptly tore it in half. With the baby occupied, she focused on Reese. “We need

• 51 •

RADCLY fFE

you here, Reese. I know how busy things are during the season, but you can’t work twenty-four hours a day. Even if it makes you feel better somehow, it’s not the answer.”

Reese braced both hands against the counter and lowered her head. She was quiet a long moment before meeting Tory’s eyes. “I’m screwing everything up pretty good, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re not.” Tory traced the pink three inch scar that slanted across Reese’s forehead. It was healing well, and before long it would be only a faint reminder of the rifl e butt some madman had swung into her face. That shattered collar bone, the burns on her arm, the shrapnel tear in her leg—they would all fade into the background. The real damage was on the inside, and she had no way of judging how deep it went or how permanent it might be. “I’m not going to make any excuses for you, because you’re not doing anything wrong. Just remember that we’re both dealing with something we’ve never had to face before. It might take us a while to fi gure it out.”

“I was trained to face it,” Reese said angrily. “That’s who I am.”

“And if you hadn’t been so well trained, God only knows what would’ve happened to you and the people who relied on you.” Tory struggled to keep her voice even because she didn’t want to upset Reggie, who thankfully was happily piling stewed apples onto her toast.

“You kept them alive. You kept yourself alive. You did your duty.”

“Maybe I missed something. Maybe we ended up separated, cut off, because I wasn’t as sharp as I needed to be. Because I questioned why I was there.”

Reese spoke softly, almost to herself, her expression distant.

Tory had seen the look before, but this was the fi rst time she realized that Reese was replaying the events surrounding her capture. She had never once imagined that Reese blamed herself for what had happened, because it was so obvious to her that it was Reese’s skill and absolute dedication to her troops that had gotten them all through it. How could she not have realized that Reese would accept all the responsibility, even when she couldn’t have prevented what had transpired? Gently, she grasped Reese’s hand. “Darling, you couldn’t have foreseen that fi refi ght. And from everything you’ve told me, you did exactly what needed to be done.”

“I should get ready for work while the baby fi nishes breakfast with you,” Reese said, evading Tory’s gaze. “Then I’ll get her dressed

• 52 •

Winds of Fortune

if you want to take a shower.” She kissed Tory’s cheek and started to turn away.

Tory clasped Reese’s forearms, holding her in place, forcing Reese to look at her. “I love you with all my heart. Don’t ever walk out on me again. It hurts us both too much.”

Reese pulled Tory into her arms, gripping her so tightly it nearly hurt. “I need you so much, it doesn’t seem fair.”

“I need you every bit as much, I always have.” Tory stroked Reese’s face. “We’ll get through this, darling, I promise.”

Reese kissed her again and Tory felt a tremor go through her.

When Reese abruptly let her go, she knew Reese was struggling to contain her desire.