“Uh-huh. The house.”

Nita chewed her bottom lip. She had never told anyone what was happening with Sylvia. Who could she possibly have told who wouldn’t tell her exactly what she’d been telling herself—getting involved with Sylvia was insane. It was a recipe for heartbreak. Worse, it was wrong.

All the time her life had slowly been consumed by her affair with Sylvia, she had become more and more alone, until all she had left was thwarted desire.

“Deo is very attractive,” Nita said quietly.

“Deo Camara is gorgeous.” Tory sat down, looking as if she had all the time in the world. “Is she hitting on you?”

“Now why would you ask that,” Nita said sarcastically.

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Looking surprised, Tory said, “Because you happen to be very attractive too, and I imagine Deo has noticed.”

“Apparently Deo makes a habit of hitting on women.”

“I don’t know her well enough to say,” Tory said. “I doubt she lacks for company, considering that she’s young and single and seems to be very nice.”

“Not to mention the gorgeous part.”

“Yes. There is that too.” Tory paused. “And you’re not interested?”

“No,” Nita said after a long second. “I am.”

It felt good to say it out loud, even if she had no idea what it meant. It felt good not to be alone with the feelings.

“You don’t sound happy about it.”

“I don’t have time for the kind of upheaval a woman like Deo creates.”

Tory frowned. “What kind of upheaval?”

“The distraction, the obsession. The…the…God, I don’t know. I can’t think.”

“Sounds like you’ve already got the distraction part,” Tory said with a small smile.

Nita laughed shortly. “Oh God, I do.”

“You’re attracted to her, but you’re not sure you want to be.”

“No. I’m quite certain I don’t want to be.” Nita stood and picked up the closest fi le. “As long as I remember that, I’ll be fi ne.”

“All right. That might work.” Tory rose and gave Nita a quick hug.

“If you ever want to talk, let me know.”

“Thanks. I…just thanks.”

❖

Deo paced on the wide front porch of Nita’s house. Maybe Nita wasn’t coming. Nita obviously didn’t want to see her, but she just couldn’t take the hint. Hell, Nita had gone out looking for sex with a stranger rather than take Deo up on her offer to go another round. That should have hammered home the message that Nita wasn’t interested.

But after slowly going crazy all week when Nita wouldn’t return her calls, she had fi nally pushed her into a meeting. Totally unlike her. Then again, nothing about her reaction to Nita was like her.

• 157 •

RADCLY fFE

It would have been so much simpler if she didn’t know that Nita wanted her. Contrary to what everyone thought, there were plenty of women who weren’t interested in her, and she didn’t chase after them. She never made it a secret that she wasn’t interested in anything resembling a long-term relationship, and that was enough to send most women running in the opposite direction. Now and then she misjudged and ended up going home with someone who said she only wanted a casual thing, but really believed she could change Deo’s mind after a date or two. When that happened, Deo extricated herself as quickly and painlessly as she could.

But whatever else was going on with Nita, Nita wanted her body, at least. That had been amazingly and very pleasurably obvious for those few incinerating moments in the dark. Ordinarily, when Deo got the sense that a woman didn’t want a repeat, she let it go. This time she couldn’t, and not being able to get Nita out of her mind not only pissed her off, it confused her. Sure, she wanted Nita in bed again.

Christ, who wouldn’t. She was beautiful and sexy, and she set Deo off like a 220 volt blast straight to the groin. But it was more than possibly the best sex she’d had in her life that kept her thinking about Nita, that had her craving the sound of her voice and the lightest touch of her fi ngers all day long and half the night. When Nita told her about Sylvia, Nita couldn’t hide how much she hurt. And she hurt in a way Deo understood. Passion and pain ruled Nita with equal measure, and Deo was drawn to both.

She braced her hands on the railing and watched the crowds passing by beyond the iron gates at the end of Nita’s fl agstone sidewalk. Men in groups, mostly shirtless, jostling and cruising. Women, usually in couples, many pushing strollers. Straight families, the kids oblivious to the passing spectacle and the parents trying to act as if being surrounded by same-sex couples was ordinary. All different, but still families of a sort. When she allowed herself to stop working and screwing until she was too tired to do anything else except drop into bed, Deo wondered what her life would have been like if she hadn’t lost hers. And those pointless ruminations were exactly what drove her to fi ll her days with work and her nights with women.

The rusted wrought iron gate creaked open and Nita slipped through it. With the setting sun at Nita’s back, Deo couldn’t see her face clearly, but the air shimmered around her as she glided toward

• 158 •

Winds of Fortune

her. Her dark hair fl owed loosely around her shoulders, and she lifted a hand to push the wind-blown strands away from her face. She was beautiful in the unselfconscious way of women who had no idea how truly beautiful they were.

“Sorry I’m late.” Nita stopped at the bottom of the broad wooden stairs to take in Deo as she leaned with her forearms on the railing.

Her T-shirt was damp at the neck and her hair looked wet. Nita had noticed several of the workmen dousing their heads and shoulders with a hose, washing away the grit at the end of the day, and she imagined that Deo had done the same. She could see Deo, the hose coiled in one hand, tossing her head back while water cascaded from her face. In the next breath, she envisioned Deo’s face above her in bed, sweat dripping from her jaw onto Nita’s cheeks as they rode each other. The image was so intense she nearly moaned.

“I thought you weren’t coming,” Deo said, trying to read what she saw in Nita’s face. For a minute she thought Nita was going to turn and walk away.

“I was just about to head over here,” Nita said breathlessly, “and we had an emergency. Tory is going to be seeing patients for another few hours as it is, and I couldn’t leave her with an add-on, too.”

“Something serious?”

Nita climbed the stairs, thankful that discussing work helped ground her. Her heart rate was slowing toward normal, and she could actually look at Deo without imagining how Deo would feel stretched out on top of her, naked. Almost. “A two-year-old with a peanut in her ear.”

Deo laughed and led the way into the house. “Ouch. I bet that was fun.”

“She was actually fi ne. It was her mother who was stressed, which is usually the case.”

“I’ll bet.” Deo fl ipped a switch and a temporary overhead light, sans fi xture, came to life. “Voilà.”

“Very nice,” Nita replied, admiring the dangling bare bulb. “Quite an improvement.”

“Thank you,” Deo said with a small bow. “So how did your patient manage to get the peanut stuck in her ear?”

“Compliments of her four-year-old brother.”

“Ah, now I see.” Deo walked into the kitchen, caught up in the easy

• 159 •

RADCLY fFE

conversation. Without thinking, she said, “I stuffed a bb up my brother’s nose when we were four. They had a hell of a time fi nding it.”

“I imagine.” Nita was fascinated by the glimpse of pure pleasure that suffused Deo’s face. She had so rarely seen her so unguarded. She looked young, carefree, happy. Then, the light in Deo’s eyes died and she looked away. Without a second’s thought, Nita grasped her hand.

The scar that snaked across the top stood out starkly against her tan.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Deo asked hoarsely.

“About your brother.”

“Yeah. Well.” Deo wasn’t certain why she had even mentioned Gabe. She never talked about him. No one did, at least not when she was around. Maybe it was just easier to confess while standing in the middle of the century old kitchen with the fractured rays of sunlight slanting through the wavy glass windows, feeling as if she had been transported to another time. Nita’s voice was so gentle, her fi ngers so warm and so soft. No one ever touched her just to soothe her pain.

“Gabriel,” Deo heard herself say. His name felt strange on her tongue, as if it was a foreign language she’d forgotten she knew how to speak. “We were twins.”

“Ah, God. It’s terrible to lose a sibling, but a twin. I think that’s even worse.”

Deo’s expression hardened and she pulled her hand away. “No.

What makes it worse is when you kill him. Let’s fi nish this up. I’m sure you have better things to do.”

“Deo,” Nita said as Deo turned away, unable to bear the terrible sorrow she glimpsed in Deo’s face. “I understood it was an accident.”

“From who?”

“Tory.”

“It wasn’t. I was there, I should know.”

When Deo made no move to walk away, but instead stood staring out the window into the overgrown garden that overran a small fl agstone patio, Nita stepped beside her and rested her hand on Deo’s shoulder.

In profi le, Deo’s face might have been carved from granite. “What happened?”

Beneath Nita’s fi ngers, Deo’s torso rose and fell with her quick shallow breaths.

“We were at a party. Most of the kids were a year or two ahead of

• 160 •

Winds of Fortune

us. Everyone was drinking and…he walked in on me and another girl when we had gotten to the point where we couldn’t lie about what we were doing. I hadn’t told him I was gay and he was pissed. I don’t know if it was because I hadn’t told him or because he was ashamed of me.”