Tonight she had been thinking that if she wore herself out with someone else, a stranger, she could get Deo out of her system. Maybe that’s what she should have done with Sylvia, instead of allowing Sylvia to control her. Instead of meeting Sylvia in some roadside motel every time she called, instead of letting Sylvia walk into the hospital and fuck her in an empty examining room or stairwell or supply closet any time she wanted. Instead of biting into her own fl esh to still her screams while Sylvia went down on her at a family barbecue with Sylvia’s husband just outside the open bedroom window, playing baseball with her brother and the other cops. Sylvia had craved the risk and Nita had craved Sylvia’s relentless, insatiable hunger for her.

Shuddering from the memories, she said hoarsely, “Maybe. Maybe I should.”

She must have given something away in her voice, because Tory tilted her head and regarded her with concern. “Something wrong?”

“No.” Nita feigned a smile. “A case of the blues, that’s all. I think I’ll feel better when I’m settled. I feel like my entire life is packed in boxes.”

“Are things underway at the house?”

“Yes,” Nita said curtly, and then, realizing how that sounded, went on, “Deo has a crew working outside on the roof and the windows and another inside redoing electrical.” She hoped her voice hadn’t trembled when she said Deo’s name, because she hadn’t felt quite steady. “Before long, I’ll be able to live there.”

“You’re not going to try living there while they’re still renovating, are you? God, Reese tried that when she fi rst moved here, and after a few weeks the constant disruption really started to get to her.” Tory

• 146 •

Winds of Fortune

smiled. “Fortunately, I got her to move in with me.”

“I’m sure that wasn’t diffi cult,” Nita said, hoping to change the subject.

“Harder than you might think. I wasn’t too trusting of relationships at the time and Reese…Reese had never been in one.” Tory shook her head. “God, we were a pair.”

“It’s funny,” Nita mused almost to herself, “when you see a solid couple you think that things have always been that way. That they never had issues to work out.”

“We’re solid,” Tory said. “As solid as any two people can be, but we certainly have issues.” She sighed. “I never expected Iraq. I don’t remember Vietnam, and who really imagines a war like this?”

“Where are things with that now?”

Tory grimaced. “Nelson’s illness has just about eclipsed everything else, and now Reese is working double and sometimes triple shifts. We haven’t really talked about it.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing.” At Tory’s surprised glance, Nita shrugged. “Reentry must be terribly disorienting. One minute, she’s half a world away in the middle of a war. Added to the pressure of keeping other people from being killed, she must have been worried about her responsibilities to you—and then she’s wounded and captured. A few days later she’s home again. God, my head is swimming even thinking about it.”

“You’re saying that the best thing for her is just that she’s home,”

Tory mused aloud, although she was really talking to herself. “That she gets used to being here, back in her life, our life, for a while before she… we…make any decisions.”

“I think so.” Nita leaned forward. “Even though she’s terribly busy, I imagine it feels good to her to be surrounded by people she loves, doing the work she loves.”

“Why didn’t I see that?” Tory said reproachfully.

“Because she scared you to death and you thought you were going to lose her, and none of us sees too clearly when we’re terrifi ed.”

“I think you’re good for me.” Tory smiled and wagged her fi nger at Nita. “Now you have to stay.”

“I’d like that,” Nita said softly, feeling just a little bit better for the last few moments of connection. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed that.

• 147 •

RADCLY fFE

“So? Are you going to get out of here before it’s too late to go out and have fun?”

Laughing, Nita threw up her hands. “I’m going. I’m going.”

“Good,” Tory said, rising. “Let loose a little.”

“Whatever you say,” Nita said, laughing too.

“I don’t want to see you back here until Sunday afternoon,” Tory said on her way out of the room.

When Nita contemplated the next thirty-six hours, she wondered how she would fi ll them. Of one thing she was certain. Letting loose was the last thing she wanted to do.

Tory arrived home an hour later, and the house was dark. Her heart sank as she climbed the stairs to the rear deck. Reese must be working an extra shift again. She wondered how long Reese could keep up the relentless pace without folding. Even her formidable will and strength couldn’t hold up forever.

“You need to stop worrying so much,” Reese’s voice came to her through the dark.

“You can’t see my face, and I know I’m not talking to myself,”

Tory said, now able to make out the image of her lover reclining in a lounge chair. Already, her heart felt lighter. “So how do you know what I was thinking?”

“You were sighing.” Reese reached out to her.

Tory laughed and clasped Reese’s hand. “Up. If I lie down there with you, I’m going to fall asleep or want to make love. Unfortunately, I’m tired enough for the fi rst and too tired for the second.”

“I’m not sure I followed all of that,” Reese said, unfolding her length from the chair and rising. She slipped her arm around Tory’s waist. “But I got that you’re tired. Want a glass of wine and a soak in the tub?”

“Oh God, that sounds good,” Tory murmured, resting her cheek against Reese’s shoulder. “Yes to the wine, but can I have it in bed?”

“Leg still bothering you?”

“A little.”

“Then why don’t you go upstairs and I’ll be up in a few minutes with your wine.”

• 148 •

Winds of Fortune

Tory kissed her, lingering on her mouth and lightly teasing just inside with her tongue. “Thank you.”

A few minutes later, Tory stretched out in bed and murmured appreciatively as Reese handed her a glass of red wine. Sipping slowly she watched with pleasure as Reese stripped and joined her beneath the sheets. “How’s Reggie?”

“Talking up a storm.” Reese took the glass when Tory offered and tasted the wine. “Words are right around the corner. It’s amazing.” She watched the red wine swirl in the glass. “She changes so quickly. I would have missed so much if I’d been gone longer.”

Tory turned on her side and smoothed her fi ngers through Reese’s hair. “Your mother told me your father was gone most of the time when you were this age. It must have been very hard for him.”

“Maybe. I’m sure part of him was happy doing what he was trained to do. Not being deployed to Iraq this time is driving him crazy.”

“I guess I don’t quite understand anyone wanting a war,” Tory said quietly.

“Wanting to test yourself, to do what you’re trained to do, isn’t quite the same thing as wanting a war,” Reese said, “although I know it probably sounds that way.”

“It’s a distinction that’s very hard to grasp.” Tory stroked Reese’s arm. “But you didn’t want war, and you’re as much a marine as he is.”

“Thanks.” Reese leaned close and kissed Tory briefl y. “I’m a peacekeeper, and that’s different than wanting to engage the enemy. I never needed a war to do what I thought was important.”

“You’re a peacekeeper here,” Tory pointed out. “Not only do you keep your community safe, you help train the young to be strong and self-confi dent and self-reliant. You’re a role model for young women and men just like Bri. This community needs you.”

Reese cupped Tory’s cheek and kissed her. “One thing’s for certain. I don’t want Nelson’s job. A few weeks of dealing with the paperwork and bureaucracy is enough to convince me of that. I need to be on the streets.”

“Until Nelson is back on his feet, you can’t do both jobs.” Tory held up an index fi nger in warning. “I mean it. There’s nothing you can say that will convince me otherwise. As long as you’re acting chief, you need to cut back on the street patrols. Please. Before you get hurt.”

Reese grimaced, but nodded. “All right. We’re starting to get things

• 149 •

RADCLY fFE

running smoothly again, especially now that Bri is back on duty.”

“How is she doing?”

“She’s a little distracted, a little tired, but Allie’s watching out for her. She’s okay.”

“Good.” Tory took the glass, fi nished the wine, and set the glass aside. “Nelson will be home in a few days and that will make it easier for her.”

Reese rested back against the pillows and drew Tory into her arms. She kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair. “Speaking of fathers, mine called today.”

Tory struggled not to pull away. She smoothed her fi ngertip along Reese’s collarbone, noting that the swelling at the site of the fracture was better. “Oh?”

“There’s a post open in his department at Strategic Planning in DC. He thought I should take it when my medical leave is over.”

“DC.” Tory willed herself to think—think, not react. “Not Iraq.”

“No, not Iraq. Tory—”

“DC isn’t so far. You’d get home sometimes, right? Or we could come—”

“Baby, I’m not going.”

“I know it’s a desk job and you hate that, but—”

“I told him I hadn’t changed my mind,” Reese said before kissing Tory into silence. She drew Tory on top of her and spread her fi ngers through Tory’s thick auburn hair. “I told him I wanted him to fi nalize the paperwork for my discharge.”

“Be careful of your collarbone. I’m too heavy to be on top of you just yet.”

Reese laughed and kissed the tip of Tory’s chin. “You’re not heavy, but you are very sexy. How tired are you?”