“Aren’t you? When’s the last time anyone took serious issue with you?”

Nita’s criticism stung, and without thinking, Deo said, “Does getting thrown out of your own house at seventeen count?”

Immediately, Nita’s voice softened and she gently clasped Deo’s forearm. “What happened?”

Deo shrugged, wanting to change the subject, but the sympathy in Nita’s eyes and the tenderness of her touch seduced her into revealing more than she usually would with anyone, even a woman whose bed she shared—or hoped to. “My father beat me until I was half dead and then threw me out on the street.”

“Why?”

“Because I killed his only son.” Deo shoved the door open and strode out onto the deck. She was already halfway up the alley when Nita’s voice reached her.

“Deo, please don’t go. Deo?”

Enticed by the concern in Nita’s tone, Deo slowed but didn’t look back. The rain had let up until just a fi ne mist hung in the air. Moisture beaded on her cheeks like the memory of long-ago tears. “Look. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You don’t have to,” Nita said from very close behind her.

Deo shivered at the light touch on her shoulder.

“We all have our secrets,” Nita said quietly. “I’m sorry I forced you into revealing one of yours.”

“Usually women want to hear your secrets,” Deo said curiously,

• 114 •

Winds of Fortune

turning to face Nita in the semi darkness. “Isn’t that what intimacy is supposed to be all about? Sharing secrets?”

“Quite possibly,” Nita said steadily. “But I’m not interested in intimacy. I’m interested in looking at that laceration on your face.”

Deo smiled crookedly. “I’m really the perfect person for you to sleep with.”

Nita frowned. “I’m not even going to try to follow your logic.

Come back inside.”

“I’m not interested in intimacy either, and I won’t try to make you tell me your secrets,” Deo said as she fell into step beside Nita.

“I don’t have any secrets worth telling.”

“Sure you do,” Deo said softly. Nita might use her professional cloak and personal reserve to keep people at a distance, but Deo had caught glimpses of the tenderness and passion she tried to hide. Nita would not be alone unless someone had taught her that love was dangerous. But she was not the person to change Nita’s mind about that. They were alike that way, her and Nita—connection meant caring, and caring meant pain. “But like I said, I’m not pushing.”

Nita decided that ignoring her, as impossible as that was most of the time, was the best approach. “Follow me down to the bathroom.”

Nita directed Deo to sit on the closed commode while she retrieved antiseptic, steri-strips, and other supplies from a tall narrow cabinet next to the sink. Although well laid out with a spacious shower and vanity, the room was still small, and there wasn’t much space for them to maneuver around each other. As Nita bent down, Deo’s leg brushed her ass, and that brief unintentional caress shot straight through her.

Pretending she hadn’t gotten instantly wet, Nita stood and tilted Deo’s head up with her fi ngers beneath her chin. Deo’s skin was damp from the rain and the silky smoothness made her think of the way a woman’s body misted just before she came. This close, she could see the small gold fl ecks in Deo’s irises, and she imagined the way they would darken and swirl just before…

“Close your eyes,” Nita said hoarsely.

Once released from the hypnotic pull of Deo’s gaze, Nita used a cotton swab to clean the laceration that paralleled Deo’s hairline.

Concentrating on the familiar task helped her ignore the buzzing in the pit of her stomach. She brushed Deo’s wet tangled hair away from the

• 115 •

RADCLY fFE

cut and resisted the urge to run her fi ngers through it. “The laceration is long, but not too deep.”

“Told you that,” Deo said, automatically spreading her legs so that Nita could get close enough to work. The solution Nita swabbed on the cut stung, but that sensation was quickly obliterated by her awareness of Nita’s body almost resting against hers. The insides of her thighs rubbed against Nita’s legs and a wave of heat shot through her. She couldn’t tell if the torrent of warmth was coming from inside her body or from Nita, but she was aware that the fi ngers on her face had stopped moving.

Deo opened her eyes and found Nita staring at her, and there wasn’t a doubt in her mind as to what she saw in Nita’s eyes. Slowly, carefully, she slipped her hands around Nita’s body and cupped her hips. When Nita didn’t draw way, she gently pulled her closer until Nita’s crotch nestled against her belly. She was suddenly so hot and so hard she thought she would explode, but she held absolutely still. Some sixth sense warned her that Nita must make the fi rst move.

“Let go,” Nita whispered as the heat from Deo’s body fl ooded hers. She couldn’t step away, not with Deo’s hands on her.

“You don’t want me to do that,” Deo murmured.

“I do,” Nita insisted, knowing it was herself she was trying to convince. Deo’s breasts rose and fell quickly and her nipples had tightened beneath the still damp T-shirt. Entirely against her own volition, Nita’s fi ngers crept around the back of Deo’s neck and spread through her hair. With a soft groan, Deo pressed her face against Nita’s stomach. The top of her head glanced over Nita’s nipples, and Nita trembled with another wave of arousal. She had very little time. Deo’s breath against the thin fabric of her blouse seared her skin and she wanted Deo’s mouth roaming over her body. She would burn for her, she knew, igniting beneath Deo’s hands until all that remained was ashes. She would never survive the inferno again.

Eyes closed, lips parted, Deo moaned against Nita’s stomach.

“Nita, please. I need to touch you.”

Trembling, Nita gathered all her strength and pushed away. “You have to go.”

Deo dropped her hands onto her thighs, palms up, her fi ngers curved in supplication. Panting, she nodded wordlessly.

• 116 •

Winds of Fortune

Surprised but grateful, Nita took another step back. Amazingly, her voice sounded almost normal. “Keep that cut covered while you’re working. It should be fi ne.”

“Right,” Deo said, rising unsteadily to her feet. “Thank you.”

Unable to look away from Deo’s fl ushed face, Nita reached behind her for the bathroom door and pulled it open. Then she pressed against it so Deo could pass. She was careful that their bodies did not touch.

Like an automaton, she followed Deo to the kitchen and watched her wrench open the glass doors. A breeze smelling of sea and summer rain wafted through the kitchen. A fl eeting image of the two of them naked, lying before an open window making love until dawn while the fresh clear air washed the past away, skittered through her mind.

“I’m sorry,” Nita said softly.

“For what?” Deo’s breathing was ragged.

“I shouldn’t have touched you.”

“Does it make any difference that I wanted you to?”

Nita shook her head. “None at all.”

“I’m leaving because you want me to,” Deo said, “not because I want to.”

“I’m grateful.”

“Don’t thank me,” Deo said harshly. “Next time I won’t be as accommodating.”

“Please go. This won’t happen again.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Deo stepped outside, closed the door, and disappeared.

Wrapping her arms around her middle, Nita leaned against the counter and wondered how things had gotten so out of control so quickly. Then she tried to tell herself it could have been worse. Deo might have awakened her libido, but thankfully she still had control of her common sense. She hadn’t been with anyone since Sylvia. In the months since, she had so ruthlessly crushed her desire, so completely disavowed her own need, that she was rarely aware of sexual desire.

She hadn’t even masturbated since she had fi nally purged her system of wanting Sylvia every moment of the day and night. Now a pulse beat heavily, insistently, between her thighs, and she knew she would come with the lightest touch.

The pressure was nearly unbearable, but she wouldn’t satisfy

• 117 •

RADCLY fFE

herself, not when she wasn’t sure whose face she would see as she orgasmed. Sylvia or Deo? Was either any safer than the other?

❖

Too agitated to go home to silence, Deo walked. Driven by the churning in her stomach and the hot thrum of need coursing through her blood, she didn’t notice passing faces or register the occasional bump on her shoulder as she threaded her way through slow moving clumps of casual strollers. Over the years, she’d learned to recognize lust in all its various guises—mindless, playful, urgent, detached. She’d made love to women who were so insatiable she’d nearly dropped from exhaustion before they’d had enough. Strangers had fucked her in the dark until she couldn’t remember her own name. Never once had she seen a look of such undisguised hunger and desperate vulnerability as she’d seen on Nita’s face tonight. It was plain to see that Nita wanted her and feared her in equal measure, and knowing that twisted her up like a giant claw ripping at her insides.

Rebelling at the idea that Nita expected her to hurt her, Deo strode faster. Her body was in rebellion too, adrenaline pumping, her loins pounding with lust and need. She wanted to pour her longing and loneliness into a woman’s body. Even more than she wanted to come herself, she wanted a woman coming beneath her, crying out in ecstasy.

The blaring sound of a car horn brought her up short, and she jumped out of the way of the car she’d walked in front of. Shaking her head, she focused on her surroundings for the fi rst time and saw that she was in front of the Vixen, one of the hot spots for lesbians on the prowl. It wouldn’t take long to fi nd a woman in there to empty herself into, or she could call Allie. Allie gladly took what she had to give, and because of that, she could relax enough to let Allie pleasure her. If she didn’t fi nd release, she would never be able to sleep. Her head and her groin were in a race to see which would detonate fi rst.