Her head turns toward my voice, but her eyes remain closed. She looks really pale, and there are dark circles under her eyes. I decide it’s not worth waking her. I came to see Anna and I’ve accomplished that.

I turn and head toward the door, but her voice stops me.

“Sophie? Is that you?”

I spin around and within seconds I’m at the side of her bed.

“Yes. I’m here,” I whisper, then glance at Brad. He hasn’t moved a muscle.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice is groggy, and it looks like it takes a lot of effort to open her eyes.

“I promised I would come see the baby when she was born.”

She stares at me a moment, then slowly scoots over, patting the space next to her. Gently, I crawl into the bed next to her and lace my fingers with hers.

She squeezes my hand. “Dad will kill you if he finds out.”

“That’s why we won’t tell him I was here.”

We lie there in silence and I think she’s fallen back asleep until she asks, “Did you see her?”

“She’s perfect,” I answer. “Totally worth the sausage toes.”

Margot laughs, then moans as if it hurts.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

She nods. “Yeah. Everything is sore, especially where they opened me up for the C-section.”

“Thank you for giving her my name. I’m going to be the best aunt ever.”

Margot tilts her head until her forehead rests against mine. “I know you will.”

There are so many things I want to say to her, to ask her, but she looks exhausted.

“I so wish I could have seen you dressed as Mary.” Her voice is sleepy and her eyes are closed.

“Margot, that was the worst.”

“So which one was the best?”

Of course my mind goes straight to Wes, when he asked me this same thing on Nonna’s front steps.

“Olivia’s was fun. So was Sara’s.”

“Oh yeah, Underground Christmas. I need pics.”

“All you have to do is scroll through my feed. It’s full of them.”

She smiles, her eyes still closed.

“I’m dying to tell you something, but you have to promise me it stays between us. Like serious promise,” I whisper.

Her eyes open. “Tell me.”

“Promise you won’t tell.”

“I won’t. You know you can tell me anything.”

I take a deep breath and say, “Okay. I think Wes almost kissed me the other night and I’m bummed it didn’t happen.” And then I bury my face in her shoulder.

All I hear for a moment is the rise and fall of Margot’s breath. I peek up at her. “So? What do you think?”

She sighs and leans her cheek against my forehead. “I love the idea of this, but I’m worried about you. He’s one of your oldest friends. It’s super hard to go back to that if things don’t work out. Just be smart about it, okay?”

I pull away and look at her. I should have known she’d say this. Her senior year, she started dating one of her close guy friends. It only lasted a couple of weeks, and they weren’t able to go back to normal after their breakup.

“This isn’t like you and Ryan,” I say.

She shakes her head. “I’m not saying that. And you probably shouldn’t be listening to me. My hormones are all over the place. I cried when Uncle Sal sent me a text that said ‘good luck’ with the thumbs-up emoji. If you like Wes and Wes likes you — go for it!”

But that’s the thing. I don’t know how I feel about Wes, and certainly don’t know how Wes feels about me. I’m stressing over something that I think almost happened. I blame Nonna for getting my brain all twisted up. Maybe it would have been better to spend this week crying it out rather than getting all tangled up with all of these boys.

We lie in silence, and I’m pretty sure Margot has fallen back asleep. Eventually, I kiss her on the forehead and slip out of the bed.

“Where are you going?” she mumbles.

“I have to get back.”

“You’re not driving back this late, are you?” She pries her eyes open.

“Olivia, Charlie, and Wes are in the car. We’re napping and taking turns driving.”

“Text me when you make it home,” she says.

I nod and point to the floor. “There’s a bag here with a couple of gifts from Olivia and me. Don’t tell Mom where they came from.”

“I’ll play dumb. Be safe. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I’m tempted to take one more peek at Anna before I leave, but the clock on the wall shows we’re already a little behind schedule.

My car is exactly where it was when they pulled away, and Wes is in the driver’s seat. I get in the backseat and glance up at the rearview mirror.

“Good visit?” he asks.

“Perfect,” I answer.

Charlie hands me a white plastic bag. “Food,” he says. It looks like he’s still half-asleep, and Olivia is already sacked out in the seat next to me.

I eye Charlie. “If you need me to, I can stay up and keep Wes company.”

“Nah, I’m good. Eat and then get some rest.”

I open the bag and find a Styrofoam container of pancakes. “Thanks. I’m starving.”

Charlie nods and turns down the volume of the radio. “How’re Margot and the baby?” he asks.

I recap my visit in between bites while Wes gets us back on the interstate.

“I’m glad we did this,” Wes says, his eyes on me.

I smile at him. “Me too.”

***

I’m shifting around, trying to get comfortable, when I hear Griffin’s name.

“Do you think they’ll get back together?” Wes asks.

I glance around the car, but all I can see is the upholstered ceiling. Olivia and I have somehow ended up lying side by side, her balancing on the front edge of the seat while I’m pinned between her and the back of the seat.

“What?” Charlie mumbles.

Wes repeats his question. “Do you think they’ll get back together?”

Is he asking because we almost kissed the other night? Is he regretting it even though it didn’t happen?

Charlie must be distracted by the radio; I hear snippet after snippet of music filter through the speakers.

“Who knows? I hope not,” he finally answers.

Charlie finally settles on a modern remake of “The Little Drummer Boy.” Wes says, “I heard them talking this morning. It sounded like he wants her back.”

“Of course he does. Soph’s a cool girl and he’s an ass. And he’s been seeing all those pics of her having a good time without him.”

I can’t help the smile that breaks out across my face. No matter how much time passes, Charlie and Olivia will always have my back.

“She did look amazing in that dress the other night,” Wes says.

It takes everything in me not to squeal.

“And he had the nerve to say that maybe they had just gotten lazy,” Wes adds. “That if they tried hard enough, they could get back to when it was fun. I mean, of course people get lazy when they’re with the same person for a long time, but that doesn’t mean they’re not still happy. Or having fun. If lazy is enough to ruin a relationship, then maybe there’s more wrong than just being lazy.”

They’re quiet a few minutes. Then Charlie asks, “Is this about Laurel?”

Wes sighs. “I feel like we both worked hard to make this long-distance thing work, but it’s not working. We’re in two totally different places.”

“I told you it was a horrible idea,” Charlie says.

Wes lets out a quiet laugh. “Yeah, you did. More than once. I thought it would be easy once she was home on break, but I don’t think either of us wants it anymore. All Laurel wants to do is hang out with people she met at school, and I’d rather hang out with you three. The last week has been good. Really good.”

“So are all these deep thoughts about Sophie? Because me, you, and Olivia are always together. She’s the only thing that’s new about this week.”

I don’t think Wes is going to answer. Then he finally says, “Yeah, I’m glad she’s here.”

Charlie lets out a deep breath. “Look, I know I made a big deal out of you not dating either of them because it might ruin our group, but we lost Sophie anyway. What I am worried about is that it feels like we’re just now getting her back. I don’t want anything to happen that pushes her away again. You know what I mean?”

Charlie’s words hit me in the gut. They feel like they lost me.

“I know. I’m just saying I’d rather be doing nothing with the three of you than anything with Laurel.”

They don’t say anything else, and even though I didn’t think it would be possible, it’s not long before I drift back off to sleep.

***

Charlie, Olivia, and I part ways with Wes in Nonna’s front yard about an hour before sunrise. I wanted to hug him and thank him for driving us home, but after the awkward conversation I overheard in the car, I didn’t trust myself to get near him. I settled for a wave from the driveway.

The three of us tiptoe quietly inside the back door and come to a dead stop when we see Nonna standing at the kitchen counter, baking ingredients spread out in front of her.

“How are they doing?” she asks.

We all start talking over each other, each with a different excuse, but Nonna just shakes her head.

I look at her with what I hope is reassurance. “Anna is so tiny. And so, so beautiful. But those tubes and wires look worse in person. Margot seems good but really tired and sore.”

Nonna starts cracking eggs in a bowl. “I’m feeling full of Christmas spirit, so I’m going to be happy you all made it home in one piece and send you off to bed. You can find a few blow-up mattresses in the game room. But I expect you to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when it’s time to line up.”

“Yes, ma’am,” we all mutter, then silently trudge upstairs to the game room in the attic. There are several bunk beds positioned around the large room, all of which are already taken. Christmas Eve is the one night everyone in my family tries to sleep under one roof so that we’re all together when we open gifts. The larger our family has gotten, though, the harder it has become.