Yeah, probably best to keep all this to myself right now.

The woman returns with my wrapped gifts and we leave the store. Once we’re back in the car, I stare at the picture Margot sent me. As much as I’ve been dying to get a look at my niece, it’s hard seeing her like this. Before I got this picture, I pictured her swaddled in one of those white blankets with the pink and blue footprints on it, sleeping peacefully with rosy cheeks and full lips. The image Margot sent makes me want to cry.

The blanket is there, but Anna is lying on top of it in just her diaper. She’s on her back, her arms and legs sprawled out, and there are tubes and wires and God knows what else attached to her. There’s even a thin clear tube stuffed in her nose, for oxygen I’m guessing, and there’s tape across one cheek to keep the tube in place. An ID bracelet circles one ankle while an impossibly small blood pressure cuff circles the other.

I zoom in on her face and smile when I see the dark hair covering her head. Margot’s husband is blond and pale, and I was secretly hoping she would look like our family. Her eyes are swollen shut and her whole face looks sort of puffy, but she’s gorgeous.

I can’t wait to see her.

Margot didn’t say much in her text, other than she’s tired and sore and Anna seems to be doing “okay,” which is not the word I wanted to hear when describing the health of my newborn niece. Mom told me they’ve been in to see the baby once so far, but they’re hoping to see her again soon.

Olivia leans over to look at my phone at a red light, and I tilt it in her direction.

“She looks so small,” Olivia says. “I mean, she barely takes up a third of that plastic tub she’s in.”

“I promised Margot I would be there when the baby was born,” I tell her. Then I say the thing that’s been on my mind ever since I got the text from my mom. “I’m thinking about going down there.”

This gets her attention. “Today? Right now?”

I shrug. “I just feel like I need to be there.” I’ve actually already floated this idea past Mom and she shot me down.

Olivia’s left eyebrow rises — just the left one — and she gives me that look.

“You know I’m jealous you can do that and I can’t,” I say.

“Sounds like you’ve got a plan brewing?” she says.

I shrug. “Maybe.” I’m quiet a moment before adding, “My parents don’t want me to come because the traffic is dangerous on Christmas Eve, and the baby is in the NICU, so it’s not like I could hold her anyway, and on and on…but I think I can get in, see Margot and Anna, and get out without my parents seeing me.”

Olivia’s eyes are huge. “Hold up,” she says, her gaze darting from the road to me. “Let’s talk this through. They’re in a hospital in Lafayette, right? So it’s three hours down there and three hours back. And if you stay like, an hour, that’s seven hours you’re not here. And that’s if nothing goes wrong! How are you going to hide from Nonna that long? And what if when you get there your mom is in Margot’s room? You could get down there and never see her. Or be in massive trouble.”

I’ve thought about all of these things. But I’m not deterred.

“If I leave at nine, I’m there by midnight. I won’t stay long. Just long enough to see them. Mom and Dad won’t be there, because Brad will stay with Margot tonight. Then I’ll head back. I’ll be here before anyone wakes up.”

I can tell she’s going to try to talk me out of it, so I add, “You can cover for me. The house will be packed and you can run interference. No one will even miss me.”

She lets out a deep breath. “You can’t go alone. It’s not safe. You’d be driving all night.” She picks up her phone and calls Charlie, the call connecting over Bluetooth.

“Hey,” he says, his voice filling the car.

“Your dumb cousin has a dumb plan and needs our help,” Olivia says. I roll my eyes.

“I’m not doing anything for the Evil Joes and you know it.”

We both laugh. “Not them,” Olivia says. “And hold on. I’m adding Wes to this call.”

I start to say no, but before I can get any words out, Charlie says, “He’s right beside me. I’ll put you on speaker.”

“So,” Olivia continues, “Soph’s hell-bent on sneaking out tonight and driving to the hospital to see Margot and Anna and back. I’m just letting y’all know that we’re all going with her so she won’t kill herself by falling asleep at the wheel in the middle of the night.”

“No. Wait, you don’t have to do that,” I say, but Olivia waves me off.

“Only if I can control the music,” Charlie says. “And the temperature in the car. I don’t want to sweat all the way down there. And you’ll owe me a favor that I can cash in whenever I want. No questions asked.”

Olivia and I share a look.

“What time are we starting this journey?” Wes asks.

“Around nine. After we’ve eaten so Nonna won’t have any reason to be looking for us.”

“I’ll be ready,” Wes says.

“Me too,” Charlie says. “This plan is something the old Sophie would have done. I like it.”

***

While Christmas Day tradition means we’ll sit down to a formal meal at noon that includes all the traditional foods you expect — turkey, dressing, green beans, sweet potato casserole — Christmas Eve is the complete opposite.

Nonna loves to celebrate our Sicilian roots, so the buffet stretched out across the kitchen island includes several different pasta dishes, eggplant, stuffed artichokes, and panelle. There’s an assortment of salami and cheeses, dried fruits and olives. There are also fig cookies, almond cookies, and cannoli. The tables are covered in red tablecloths and small white poinsettias sit in clusters in the center. Christmas music plays in the background, but all of the songs are in Italian and seem like they were recorded in the 1950s.

Jake and Graham wander into the kitchen and stop next to where Olivia and I are sitting at the table.

“So I heard that jackass showed up here this morning,” Jake says after swallowing a bite of cookie.

First thing Wes did was tell Charlie that Griffin came by. Then Charlie told Nonna, and that’s all it took to activate the phone tree.

“Yeah. He wanted to talk.”

Graham rolls his eyes. “I never liked him.”

“Please,” Olivia says. “You barely knew him.”

“Let’s just say it didn’t take long for me to form my opinion,” Graham says.

“Don’t let him guilt you into getting back together, if that’s not what you want,” Jake says with a pointed look. Then they move on to the cookie trays.

Most of my family have been heaping unwanted advice on me all day. I could strangle Wes for telling them Griffin showed up here.

Charlie slides into the chair next to Olivia. “We can’t take my truck. I’m almost on empty.”

I shush him and scan the room. But everyone is laughing and talking and not paying us any attention.

“We’re taking my car,” I say.

Our cover story is that Charlie, Olivia, and I are going to Wes’s to binge-watch Christmas movies. We talked Sara into distracting anyone who comes looking for us. It’s not a great plan, but with the house filled to capacity — and hopefully all of the adults being overserved — it’s not likely anyone will be hunting us down. In fact, I’m expecting them all to fall into a food coma within the hour.

Twenty minutes later, the three of us head to the street where my car is parked. Wes is sitting on the hood, waiting for us.

“Who’s driving?” Charlie asks.

“It’ll be safest if we switch off every hour and a half,” Wes says as he jumps off my car. “So two of us will take turns on the way down and two of us will get us home.”

“You should’ve been a Boy Scout,” Charlie says.

“I was a Boy Scout,” Wes replies. “And so were you.”

Wes and I reach the door to the backseat at the same time. I know we’re both trying to do the same thing — save our turn for the worst shift, the one that will bring us home in the early hours of the morning.

“You drive first,” I say.

He shakes his head and smiles, his hand reaching for the handle. “No. I’m beat. I really need to nap right now, and then Charlie and I can take turns driving us back.”

Charlie moans.

I try to push his hand away, but he’s latched on tight. We’re close — not as close as last night, but still closer than we should be.

“That’s not right. This was my idea. There’s no reason for you to be up all night.”

His head tilts, but he doesn’t say anything. His hand is still firmly in place.

“Uh,” Charlie mumbles from the other side of the car. “If y’all are going to stand here all night, I’ll go back in for another slice of Nonna’s cassata.”

“You drive first,” Wes whispers.

I take one last look at my grandparents’ house, every light blazing, before moving away from him and sliding into the driver’s seat.

“Charlie, in the back,” Olivia says. “We’re driving first.”

“How am I going to control the radio from back here?” he asks as he opens the backseat door. “This is not the trip I was promised.”

Wes looks at me in the rearview mirror as I put the car into drive. “We’ll nap on the way down. And I’ll let Charlie listen to whatever he wants. We’re good.”

Charlie squirms around in the small backseat, trying to find a somewhat comfortable position, while Wes slouches in the corner of the seat and the door. Every time I check the rearview mirror, he’s right there.

Not distracting at all!

I pull away from the curb while Olivia tries to find something other than Christmas music on the radio. She doesn’t have much luck.

“It’s a straight shot down I-49. Watch for cops going through Alexandria. It will be hard to explain a ticket to your dad,” Olivia says.