I drop my head back and stare at the ceiling. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

We head to the checkout when the basket is almost full, but she stops suddenly. “Oh! I almost forgot. Gigi needs a few things.” She pulls out a piece of paper from her purse and I recognize the small scrawl of my great-grandmother. “Could you go grab these? I’ll go ahead and get in line. We’ll drop them off at the nursing home on the way to the shop.”

I read the list and blanch at items like adult diapers. Once I find everything, I run through the store carrying all of the items on the list as discreetly as I can. Nonna is unloading the stuff for my sweater on the conveyor belt and talking to the guy checking her out.

I walk up just in time to hear her ask him, “Do you have any plans for New Year’s Eve? I’m looking for a date for my granddaughter!”

What.

Is.

She.

Doing.

“Well,” he says. “I think my friends might be having a party, but we’re not sure yet…”

His eyes move from her to me and then to the items in my arms. He zeroes in on the hemorrhoid cream.

“Oh, there she is! This is my granddaughter Sophie,” she says, then looks at his name tag. “Sophie, this is David.”

I drop all of the items on the conveyor belt and look at Nonna. “I’ll be waiting in the car.”

Just as I’m about to leave the store, I hear her say, “Well, if the party with your friends doesn’t work out, call Greenhouse Flowers and Gifts and ask for Sophie.”

***

Olivia and I are hiding out in the back greenhouse on our lunch break, eating some sandwiches Aunt Lisa packed for us. She’s texting back and forth with Drew, a dimpled smile on her face, and I hate to admit I’m jealous.

I’ve heard from Seth a few times, but we’re in that new, awkward phase of communicating. I miss having a deeper connection with someone. I’ve already talked to Addie twice today, once this morning to fill her in on last night’s date and then again after that picture of Seth and me was posted.

So instead of giving in and texting Griffin, I text Margot.

ME: How are you?

MARGOT: Good!

ME: You’re full of it. Mom called me this morning.

MARGOT: Fine, then. It sucks right now. Not only am I worried about the baby but Mom and Dad and Brad’s parents are DRIVING ME CRAZY.

I want so much to tell her how scared I am for her and the baby. But that’s not what she needs to hear from me right now.

ME: Tell Mom you want some of her vegetable soup. You know that takes her hours to fix. And doesn’t Brad’s mom sew or something like that? Tell her you want her to make something special for the baby. You have to keep them busy.

MARGOT: You’re right. Hold on, I’m on it.

I eat half my sandwich before Margot texts me back.

MARGOT: IT WORKED! Dad’s driving Mom to the grocery store although the soup is probably going to suck since my diet is so restricted right now. And Bill is driving Gwen to the store to get some material for a blanket, even though she’s already made a dozen.

ME: See! I’m a genius

MARGOT: What’s up for tonight’s date?

ME: Ugly sweater party with someone Charlie is setting me up with.

MARGOT: Send me pics! And don’t make me bribe Charlie to do it.

We text back and forth, me telling her about the horrible date with Harold and how Nonna keeps trying to set me up with random guys that I always manage to look ridiculous in front of. Just before our lunch break is over, I text:

ME: I’m trying really hard not to be scared for you and the baby

MARGOT: Me too Soph. Me, too.

***

The crowd tonight at Nonna’s is at an all-time high. It would be faster to list the family members not in attendance. Olivia’s wearing what can only be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen; it’s as if she took a small, fully decorated artificial tree (including lights), sliced it straight down the middle, then glued it to the front of her sweater.

Aunt Lisa and some of my cousins are helping Nonna put the finishing touches on my own hideous sweater. Whereas Olivia’s sweater has a definite theme, mine is chaos. There are bows and tinsel and streamers and ornaments and God knows what else hot-glued to every available space. This sweater probably weighs a good fifteen pounds.

“Are you ready?” Charlie calls from the hall just before he walks in. We all stare at his sweater.

“Charlie, is that reindeer…vomiting?” Nonna asks.

Charlie struts into the room, arms spread wide, and models his outfit. Near his right shoulder is a piece of brown felt cut out in the shape of the front half of a reindeer with its mouth wide open. All different types of candy are hot-glued to the rest of the sweater as if the reindeer is projectile vomiting it.

“Isn’t it awesome?” he says. “Wait until you see Judd’s.”

“Who’s Judd?” I ask at the same time Olivia screeches, “Tell me you didn’t set her up with Judd!”

“What?” Charlie says, a confused look on his face. “Judd’s fun.”

“Judd’s obnoxious. And an idiot,” Olivia says.

I sink down on the edge of the bed and look at Olivia. “Like, I should use my ‘get out of date free’ card obnoxious?”

Nonna straightens and looks at me. “After all the work we’ve put in the sweater?”

Charlie moves farther into the room. “Judd is cool, and I’m telling you, save the card for the Evil Joes.”

Nonna clucks her tongue. “What have I told you about calling them that?”

“Not to,” Charlie answers her, then pulls me up and drags me out of the room. “Judd’s downstairs. Come meet him.”

With my entourage following, we all march into the kitchen, where Judd is waiting. He’s got his back to us, but he’s looking over his shoulder mischievously, waiting on Charlie. Charlie stands next to him like they’ve rehearsed this, and they slowly turn around together, making sure their shoulders never lose contact.

Nonna lets out a surprised gasp while the rest of us just stare at them. Where Charlie has the head and front end of the deer who is vomiting, Judd has the back half of the reindeer. Let’s just say there’s an equal amount of candy flying out of that end as well.

They jump around the kitchen, pounding their hands in the air. “We’re going to kill it tonight!” Judd yells.

“No way we’re not winning this!” Charlie yells back.

The only good thing about this date is that it seems Judd will have to stick pretty close to Charlie all night.

Even though the party is down the street from Nonna’s, we pile into Charlie’s truck so we can pick up his date, Izzy, who lives across town. Judd sits in the backseat with me, making it look like Charlie is chauffeuring us.

He clicks his seat belt, then turns sideways to face me. “So, Sophie, do you have plans for college yet?”

Charlie laughs, and I say, “Yes, I do.”

“Have you made a choice as to where you would like to go, or are you keeping some options open?” Judd asks in a formal voice as if he prepared icebreaker questions in advance.

“I’ve applied to twelve different schools,” I answer.

Charlie whips around to look at me and says, “Twelve?” in a horrified voice. “There are twelve different schools you might want to go to?”

“I want to keep my options open!” I say back.

“What twelve?” he asks.

“You should be paying attention to the road,” I say. Good grief, how far away does Izzy live?

I turn my attention back to Judd. He asks, “What twelve schools are you considering?”

Ugh.

“Well, I’m thinking about Texas A&M—” I stop when I hear Charlie grunt. “What’s wrong with A&M?” I ask him.

“Nothing. But there’s like a million people that go there. And you get freaked out by big crowds.”

“No, I don’t,” I say, but he’s right. I really don’t like big crowds.

“Where else?” Judd asks.

“Well, I’m waiting to hear back from a small liberal arts college in Massachusetts.”

“Massachusetts!” Charlies howls, and swerves when he tries to look back at me again. “You realize the winters there last all year and it stays below zero for most of it.”

“You’re exaggerating and you know it,” I say.

Charlie pulls up in front of a cute two-story house and throws the truck into park. He twists around until he’s facing us. “I’m going to get Izzy. Don’t say anything until I get back.”

And then he’s gone.

Judd watches Charlie walk up the front path of Izzy’s house and then looks back to me, his forehead creased in confusion. “Wait, I thought Olivia told me all of y’all were going to LSU together.”

My stomach twists. “Well, we used to say that, but I don’t know…”

But Judd doesn’t stay in the truck long enough to get my full answer. The second he sees Izzy, he jumps out so he can match his sweater up with Charlie.

Izzy seems equally horrified at Charlie’s and Judd’s sweaters. She took a different approach to dressing up, and instead of wearing an ugly sweater, she’s wearing the skirt that usually fits around the base of a real Christmas tree as an actual skirt.

Once everyone is back inside, Charlie makes introductions, and thankfully talk of colleges is forgotten.

***

I had been worried about walking into the party wearing this monstrosity, but it only takes a few minutes for me to realize I’m almost underdressed. People have gone all out, and it’s impossible not to just stand there and stare at every person who walks by.